Quest for Pura Vida

Pura Vida is a phrase that is used extensively in Costa Rica, and literally translated, means 'pure life'. The best definition of the Pura Vida way of life comes from another blog that I stumbled across online (Pura Vida Source). As the authors put it, "Costa Ricans use pura vida to express a philosophy of strong community, perseverance, good spirits, enjoying life slowly and celebrating good fortune, whether small or large". 

I thought this was a great description of what so many of us are trying to achieve; at least I know I am! While I know that as outsiders we may not fully understand Pura Vida in the sense that Costa Ricans use it, in some way or another, we all have our definition of Pura Vida. For me, I find that it's easy to get caught up in lots of plans and goals and resolutions. Recently, I started to try and live life by celebrating each day; planning for the future but acknowledging just how beautiful today was. Once you try, it's easy to find happiness and appreciate life for all that it gives you. 

I'm lucky in that I've always had great community around me. I come from a very close knit family, and have often tried (and succeeded) at connecting with family that I haven't yet met. While Nairobi is a big city, having lived there for so many years means that I am definitely part of a growing community. My luck continued when I moved to Sewanee and truly learnt what it was to be a member of a larger community. Such experiences have shaped me in that I know wherever I am, I'll carry my sense of community with me. 

I always say that life is too short to spend it stressing about irrelevant things. Sure, they are worrying now, but try looking at your problems with some perspective. Five years from now, is what you're worrying about going to carry much importance? Celebrate your good fortune, because believe it or not, you have it better than a lot of other people out there. Do things that are good for you, that benefit your mind, body and your soul. Pick up a new book, go watch a sunset, have a hearty laugh. 

Till next time, friends. Keep chasing that Pura Vida life!

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We Are One: The Westgate Tragedy, A Year On

One year ago, my world came to a standstill. News started pouring in of a terrorist attack just one or two minutes away from my home in Nairobi. Hostages were taken in one of the upscale malls in the neighbourhood, and the rest of the world watched horrified and helpless. I remember exactly when I heard about it... it was a Saturday morning, and I was asleep. For some reason, I woke up to check my phone, and was assaulted by news from BBC and CNN about a 'terrorist attack in Kenya'. Needless to say, I was terrified.

Soon enough, I checked messages on my phone and discovered that my family was fine; while this was the mall that we went to every weekend for grocery shopping and other errands, by some divine stroke of luck, this was the one weekend none of my family members needed to go. Yet, there were others I knew in the area... friends, family friends, people I went to school with. I remember being shocked as I saw one of my family friends fleeing the scene covered in blood. (Here's his story A Survivor's Story) The news and the horror didn't fade... this was a multi day operation, and so many lives were lost. I remember toward the end hearing that some of the rescue forces were actually prolonging the situation, and looting the mall. It sickened me. The whole thing sickened me. I was numb for days, and couldn't understand how I was expected to function normally. Yet, I went to class. I went to work. Most of my closest friends and mentors knew what was going on, and were such a great source of support. I don't think I'd have made it through that week sane without them.

While those closest to me in Sewanee held me through what was going on, it was still strange to be so far from home in a place where most people didn't know what was going on. Or if they did, they had no idea how close to home it hit. When I meet new people now and tell them I'm from Kenya, they still ask about Westgate.

I remember when I heard that the situation was over, I went into the chapel on campus and sat still for about a half hour. At some point, it felt like the tears wouldn't stop and the healing would never begin.

But it did. What amazed and humbled me about this tragedy is the way it brought ordinary Kenyans together. Hindu, Muslim, Sikh, Christian, no matter where we were, we showed a united front and supported each other. Sure, this isn't always the case. But I do think that to some extent, this unity lasted, and showed us all how something powerful could emerge from something broken. Not just Kenyans, but people the world over showed their support in various ways... by holding candlelight vigils, by leaving flowers at the embassy, by checking in, and by doing numerous other things.

I ordered these wristbands for myself, and gave one each to one of my sisters and one of my best friends. I guess I hoped that they would serve as a reminder of how strong Kenyans can be, and how important it is to appreciate life, and they do.

It's been a year now, and it's still scary to think about. We lost a lot of innocent lives who didn't deserve to go that way. We're still healing from what happened, and it's going to be a long process. Westgate is boarded up and lies still as a grim reminder of the horrific events of that week. But I have faith in us. I have faith in Kenyans and our greater community.

The first verse of the Kenyan national anthem reads (in Kiswahili):

Ee Mungu nguvu yetu
Ilete baraka kwetu
Haki iwe ngao na mlinzi
Natukae na Undugu
Amani na uhuru
Raha tupate na ustawi.

In English:

O God of all creation
Bless this our land and nation
Justice be our shield and defender
May we dwell in unity
Peace and liberty
Plenty be found within our borders.

I ask those of you who can to please light a candle in remembrance of those we lost that day. Thanks for all your support! Kudos to all the heroes who selflessly saved and protected so many that day.

We Are One. Najivunia kuwa mkenya!

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Joie De Vivre

(Starting today, I'll be featuring a guest blogger every month or so. Aniqah is one of my best friends, and I've known her for about 12 years now, and she's always been a source of support and inspiration. She's also a great writer, and I felt that it wouldn't be fair if I kept her work to myself, which is why I asked her to guest blog for me. I hope all of you enjoy getting to know this beautiful person as much as I did! Want to see more of her work? Check it out at Living the London Dream. She also has a new website coming out soon, www.aniqahkhalid.com)

I have habit of sometimes going very deep or simply going onto a tangent from the main subject I would be addressing. My mind is easily tempted by other thoughts and effortlessly lets my writing become an array of different ideas and thoughts totally scattered and sometimes unrelated. As this is my first post on darling Roshni’s blog, I thought I’d ease you, the reader, into my habit of writing, and before you know it, you will begin to understand my trail of thought and follow what it is I am trying to verbalize.

As an introductory article, I thought I would focus on something very important to me. Joie De Vivre. Enjoyment of life. Something so simple but so extraordinarily underrated. When one ventures into the subject of ‘What is life?’, many answers such as self-fulfillment and a person’s specific purpose and journey surface. As right as they are, 

the question of how much you enjoy your life prevails…

Joie De Vivre does not necessarily mean owning the largest house and driving the most outrageous car or having the most exciting life. Yes, these things most surely do provide utility, however, the simplest things in life sometimes can go the longest way.

A steaming cup of tea, an understanding hug, a sleeping puppy, a light joke with a loved one, the smell of baking, the feel of the sun on your skin and so much more. These are examples of part of your everyday and many of us ignore them or place them in the category of ‘ordinary’. We wait for an occasion or an adventure to happen. We forget the impact all these little moments have on our life, we forget the magic they hold. Why not make everyday an occasion for celebration, or your own little adventure?

Perspective. You can see the glass half full or half empty, or not see the glass at all. Life is short in comparison to what you can pack into it. You have the choice to pack in an excessive amount of rain or sunshine. Savour each moment, emotion and person in your life. Make every moment last and add it to the scrapbook of your mind. Even alone time is so blissful and gratifying. That, my friend, is how one achieves Joie De Vivre.

Post Graduation Sewanee Appreciation

As shocking as it may seem to me, I'm not a college student anymore. All I have to do is look at this picture (attached for proof), showing me beaming and holding my degree, to confirm this. 

Of course, in the months after graduation, I don't think my fate had yet sunk in. It seemed like any summer vacation; I was away from my friends, and we were all doing fun, random things, many of us still unsure where we would 'end up'. But come end August, reality hit. My Facebook started blowing up with posts and pictures of people who were returning to Sewanee, and I realised that the next time I was on campus would be as a proud alum. 

Pic by Steven Alvarez

(Yes, Sewanee is really gorgeous. I've taken a tonne of pictures of the campus over four years... but somehow can't find them right now). 

It's weird after so many years of it, to be away from formal education. I keep having these irrational fears that my brain is going to rot away due to disuse. Irrational, as I said. But strangest of all is to be away from Sewanee, although this time has given me ample opportunity to reflect on just how lucky I was to go to school there. 

It's weird living near a large state school, and seeing undergraduates wear things like jeans and sweatshirts to class. Sure, I've worn jeans to class plenty of times on the mountain. However, we at Sewanee adhered to a tradition of class dress, and most people dressed up to attend classes. Professors were almost ALWAYS formally dressed, and wearing their academic gowns. I remember the first time I saw one of my Economics professors in jeans, I was mildly taken aback. 

There are countless wonderful things about Sewanee that I could go on about, but one of my favourites is the large Sewanee family that you become a part of (and stay a part of, even after graduation). As a student from a large city in the heart of East Africa, you could say I was a little apprehensive at the thought of attending school in a small college town in Tennessee. I soon realised that I had absolutely NOTHING to worry about. The people there were happy and friendly, and warm even to strangers.The Sewanee motto is 'Ecce quam bonum et quam iucundum habitare fratres in unum'. Translated, 'Behold how good and how pleasant it is when brothers and sisters dwell together in unity'. I've met alumni from the sixties who are still so absolutely in love with their alma mater, and I have witnessed firsthand the strong and caring alumni network that Sewanee has. 

Great luck doesn't even begin to describe how I found Sewanee; or rather, how Sewanee found me. 

YSR!

8 Great Benefits of Time Alone

I know that at this point, it might be almost obvious to some that being alone does not mean being lonely. Unfortunately, I think that there are still so many people in the world who do not realise the extensive benefits that can be achieved by spending time alone, perhaps due to fear of loneliness. So I thought I'd go ahead and share my opinion on this matter, an opinion that has been formed after personal observation, and lots of reading.

Now, I'm not saying that people should be completely alone all the time. People are wonderful to be around, and I certainly find this to be true. I'm saying that there are numerous benefits that can be derived from learning to be alone in your own company, be it for a couple minutes a day, an hour or two on the weekend, a holiday taken alone once a year (or a wonderful combination of all of the above). I'm also not saying that alone time needs to be you shut up in a dark room all by yourself doing nothing at all. You can be alone in a cafe, while reading a book, working on a painting, and doing numerous other fun things. I know that there have been numerous posts, some much more scientific than the one I am writing, about the benefits of time alone. To avoid redundancy, I'm going to talk only about benefits that I have personally experienced.

1) Being alone can teach you a lot about yourself. When being alone becomes a healthy habit, introspection occurs. Being aware of your own thoughts and emotions can make you much happier and more fulfilled; leading to better relationships with others.

2) Being alone can actually be healthy. One of the things that I do best when I'm not surrounded by other people is meditation. I'm not an expert at it, but I do try and indulge once in a while. I don't need to go into the health benefits of meditation, but I promise that this can do wonders for your mental and even physical health.

3) Being alone gives you the time to explore hobbies that are uniquely your own and can help cultivate your creativity. This could mean taking a holiday to a place that you've always wanted to visit but your family hates, or learning to make something that your friends are not as interested in, or something uniquely your own. I have written a lot when I am around other people, but I find I write more (and often better) when alone. Sure, my inspiration may come at times when I am with others, but the expression is finer in solitude.

4) Being alone may help you to become a deeper thinker. By yourself, you may have the opportunity to do numerous things like read and think about things you may not talk about often with family and friends.

5) Being alone gives you a break from people. And this can be a great benefit to you AND to others. Spending time alone can help refresh you, and learn to deal with stress in ways that do not impact those around you. I've found that no matter how much two (or more) people love each other, if they spend all their time together, tension is bound to occur every once in a while. Be it a slow simmer or a huge fight, I honestly think that this tension could be reduced or even eliminated if people knew when they needed to take some time to themselves.

6) Strangely enough, being alone makes me appreciate actual time with people, and by this I mean that when I am with a group, I try to use my phone as little as possible. (Now, I'm not the best at doing this all the time, but I'm learning).

7) Being alone can increase your confidence. Some alone time can help you get better in touch with your strengths and your weaknesses, and help you grow as a person.

8) Finally (just because I need tea now and can't think more), being alone can actually be FUN! Try it. You're not so bad, I promise!

If you aren't happy with yourself, and do not appreciate yourself, then how can you expect others to do so? If you learn to love and appreciate the time with yourself, it'll be much easier to love and appreciate yourself, and this leads to a much happier way of living!

Have a happy day, won't you?

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Books, Books, Books

Recently, I was 'nominated' on Facebook to share a few books that were worth a read. While I didn't explain much about them there, I thought that this might be an appropriate forum to share just why I think these books should be read by many. 

1. "The Lord of the Rings" trilogy by J.R.R. Tolkien.Many people have watched, re-watched, and completely fallen in love with the movies. However, if you have the time (or even if you don't really), you must sit down and read this series at least once in your lifetime. I read it many years ago when I was still a young teenager, and was struck by how vivid Tolkien made his characters appear. I think I devoured all three books within a week. Now that I'm in my twenties, I plan to return to this series with a (somewhat) more mature perspective. These books are full of incredible detail, great heroes and a great take on the classic good vs. evil storyline. 

2. "Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking" by Susan Cain
I've talked about this book before, and I'll say it again. You do NOT have to be an introvert to read and appreciate this. I consider myself quite extroverted, but this book was a great eye opener, and helped me get in touch with the introvert in me too. Read it, and I promise that 99% of you will identify with it in some form or another. Cain has a great writing style, and despite this being a work of non-fiction, still manages to draw in her readers and hold them captive till the last page. 

3. "The Prophet" by Khalil Gibran
This book is confusing and wonderful and wise and confusing. I feel that everytime I read it, it says something different to me. This is a book that doesn't need to be read all at once. Gibran discusses a variety of topics in this book, ranging from life and death to reason and passion to clothes and houses. Never read any philosophical works before? Read this. Read everything philosophical that there is on the planet? You should still read this. 

4. The "Little Women" series by Louisa May Alcott
When I was younger, I fell in love with Alcott's characters. I've read this series a couple thousand times, especially the first book. Despite the fact that the book was written over a hundred years ago, we can still relate to it today. Even for those who aren't fans of classics will enjoy this one. Alcott creates lots of strong characters in this book, both male and female, and conveys a wide range of human emotions beautifully. 

5. "Freakonomics: A Rogue Economist Explores the Hidden Side of Everything" by Stephen J. Dubner and Steven D. Levitt. 
Admittedly, I'm rather partial to the field of Economics, and have been for about seven years, However, I've heard many people speak fondly of this book, be they expert Economists or people who first heard about the field because of this book. Levitt is able to show us how Economics need not always be traditional, and can be used to explain a variety of things, such as drug dealing and effects of abortion on crime. 

6. "Pride and Prejudice" by Jane Austen 
Another one of my favourite classics. When I was younger, this was a much slower read than Alcott's books. Growing up though, it was easier to understand Austen's writing and her characters. I know it may seem like a sort of cliche read, but this is one of those books that everyone should at least attempt once in their lives. 

7. "The Da Vinci Code" by Dan Brown
While this book was controversial, it was also brilliantly thought out and written. Dan Brown is an absolute genius as far as I'm concerned. He doesn't publish books every few months, but the ones that he does churn out are remarkably good reads. The Da Vinci Code is extremely fast paced, a page-turner if there ever was one. 

8. The "Bridgerton" series by Julia Quinn 
Yes, these fall into the genre classified as 'historical fiction.' Yes, they're romantic, but don't write them off just yet. Quinn creates extremely realistic characters who're easy to fall in love with, and one of my favourite things about her writing is the way she portrays dialogue between them. Hilarious and amusing, I found myself laughing out loud quite often. The love stories in these books are realistic, and the relationships between the Bridgerton siblings are heart warming and will stay with you long after you've read about them. 

9. "The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari" by Robin Sharma
I certainly don't need to praise Robin Sharma's work; his name carries a certain reputation that speaks for him. I read this book years ago, and intend to return to it sometime within the next year. It's a book that speaks about life and personality development without necessarily preaching. Need a good read? Pick this one up!

10. "Rich Dad, Poor Dad" by Robert Kiyosaki
If there's a book that I think everyone should read when they are in their twenties about money, it is this one. Kiyosaki talks about how to make money work for us instead of the other way around, and this is a message that has stayed with me for years; hopefully it can impact others too!

11. "The Blue Sweater: Bridging the Gap Between Rich and Poor in an Interconnected World'" by Jacqueline Novogratz
This book is a true story about social entrepreneurship, East Africa and the change that individuals are capable of. I picked this book to read for an Economic Development class that I took two years ago, but I think it appeals to a much wider audience than just those interested in the field. An added bonus? There has been follow up work done in Kenya from her book!

12 "One Lavender Ribbon" by Heather Burch
I read this book very recently, and had never read anything by Burch before. This is a simple yet powerful love story, and I think it reminds us to celebrate the love that we have around us everyday. 

Got any interesting reads that you'd like to recommend? Please feel free to let me know!

Quotable Quotes

Most everyone has their own set of favourite quotes, and I thought I'd go ahead and share some of the ones that I have so far. None of these are mine, by the way. Some are by unknown authors; I found them online. If anyone knows who those are by, please do share!

Your reason and your passion are the rudder and the sails of your seafaring soul. If either your sails or your rudder be broken, you can but toss and drift, or else be held at a standstill in mid-seas.For reason, ruling alone, is a force confining; and passion, unattended, is a flame that burns to its own destruction.Therefore let your soul exalt your reason to the height of passion, that it may sing;And let it direct your passion with reason, that your passion may live through its own daily resurrection, and like the phoenix rise above its own ashes.-Kahlil Gibran 

Of all the things that can be stolen from you – your possessions, your youth, your health, your words, your rights – what no one can ever take from you is your freedom to choose what you will believe in, and who and what your heart will love.-Unknown

Don't ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.- Howard Thurman

When we walk to the edge of all the light we have, and must take a step into the darkness of the unknown, we must believe that one of two things will happen. Either there will be something solid for us to stand on, or we will be taught how to fly.-Patrick Overton

Go and make interesting mistakes, make amazing mistakes, make glorious and fantastic mistakes. Break rules. Leave the world more interesting for your being here. -Neil Gailman

The greatest danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that we aim too low and we reach it. -Michelangelo

Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass, it’s about learning to dance in the rain.-Unknown

Are you being the best you can be or the worst that has happened to you? -Brian Vaszily

Keep on going, and the chances are that you will stumble on something, perhaps when you are least expecting it. I never heard of anyone ever stumbling on something sitting down.-Charles F. Kettering

Do you give as much energy to your dreams as you do to your fears?  -Unknown

Think outside of the box, create your own path in life. “You laugh at me because I am different; I laugh because you are all the same.”-Daniel Knode

Don’t say you don’t have enough time. You have exactly the same number of hours per day that were given to Helen Keller, Bill Gates, Michelangelo, Mother Teresa, Leonardo da Vinci, Thomas Jefferson, and Albert Einstein. -Unknown

May the sun bring you new energy by day, may the moon softly restore you by night, may the rain wash away your worries, may the breeze blow new strength into your being, may you walk gently through the world and know it's beauty all the days of your life.-Apache Blessing

Someday everything will make perfect sense. So, for now, laugh at the confusion, smile through the tears and keep reminding yourself that everything happens for a reason.-Unknown

Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.-Buddha

Nothing is as real as a dream. The world can change around you, but your dream will not. Your life may change, but your dream doesn’t have to. Responsibilities need not erase it. Duties need not obscure it. Your spouse and children need not get in its way, because the dream is within you. No one can take your dream away.-Tom Clancy

When you find yourself cocooned in isolation and despair and cannot find your way out of the darkness, remember that this is similar to the place where caterpillars go to grow their wings.-Unknown

I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow. I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights. I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life. I've learned that making a "living" is not the same thing as making a "life." I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance. I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw something back. I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision. I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one. I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back. I've learned that I still have a lot to learn. I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.
-Maya Angelou

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Chasing Happiness

I don't know about you, but I'm definitely guilty of assuming that happiness depends on change. These changes can be big or small, but a lot of the time, I look for happiness in future situations, instead of realising that happiness should not be conditional upon what can or will or should happen; rather, we should learn to find happiness in what actually IS.

I know for a fact that there are many other people who think this way. There is a wide array of literature instructing us on how to better our lives so that we can 'be happy'. Maybe the focus of such writing should change slightly, and be able to instruct us to build up on the happiness that we already feel, and do not give enough importance to. I know that in the past, I've thought that I'd be happy if I got a certain grade on an exam, or travelled to a certain place, or did a certain thing, or interacted with a certain group of people. Sure, those acts would have made me happy. But what I failed to recognise at the time is that by living in and worrying about the future so much, I was passing up so many opportunities that life gave me to be happy right where I was. Of course, I did try, as much as so many others do, to be 'mindful and aware', to 'live in the moment', to try and realise that 'the present is a gift'. Yet, I don't think I fully realised just how fulfilling it can be to actually be happy in the moment until very recently.

I'm definitely not saying that we shouldn't plan ahead, or dream about the future (read my previous post about the same http://meandmine-r.blogspot.com/2014/08/freedom-to-dream.html). I think it's definitely vital to give importance to the future, to plan and to improve so that our lives don't become stagnant, but I think we need to be able to do this while simultaneously appreciating the present that we are in. Personally, I've spent a large amount of the previous months worrying about my future; where am I going to be, what am I going to be doing, blah blah blah. Finally, I had a realisation sometime within the past week or so that made me want to kick myself. It didn't matter where I was going to be, not really. Nor did it matter what I was going to be doing. Because I've had moments of uncertainty in the past, but no matter where I ended up, I was able to be happy, to make the best of my circumstances. 

AHA! There. That was it. I really couldn't believe that it could be so simple; just being able to trust that we will be able to make the best of our futures really puts things in perspective and helps us be happy here and now. Of course, I still wonder what life is going to throw my way... who doesn't? But now I'm confident that no matter what it is, I'll tackle it as it comes. And I can also take time to enjoy my life right where I am (whether that involves jamming out in a car to 'Eye of the Tiger' on a backroad in the middle of nowhere or just enjoying the company of those around me).

We all have it within us to be able to inspire ourselves; we just need to be able to look at our situations with a little more perspective, and we'll realise that the happiness we think has been eluding us so long has been right here with us all along. 

Have a happy Friday, won't you! 

Freedom to Dream

Recently, a singer that I follow on Facebook posted a quote that read "If people aren't laughing at your dreams, your dreams aren't big enough". And that definitely got me thinking about how we dream. Not the strange, crazy dreams that we have while we're asleep, but dreams that we control while we're awake. I'm here to argue that the way most of us dream is flawed.

We limit ourselves based on an ideal of what is realistic, and fail to realise that the only thing that should restrict our ability to dream is our imagination.
If we do dream, we fail to realise that dreams do not (most of the time) magically come true. Most of the time, they take time (lots), work (even more), and require belief in ourselves that surpasses the belief others have in us.

Why do these fundamental flaws in our ways of dreaming exist? Why is it that many of us restrict ourselves in what we aim for or expect whatever we aim for to happen instantaneously? Strangely enough, sometimes children are the biggest believers out of all of us. Ask any child what they want to be when they 'grow up', and many of them will aim ('unrealistically') high. Doctor, astronaut, scientist, millionaire, etc. But if we ask the same children what they want a few years later, they will have toned down their dreams, and will probably scoff at their earlier aspirations.

It's scary, isn't it, that we've created a culture of contradiction as opposed to support that tells us to dream small? Imagine what we could do if people believed in each other and themselves a little bit more, if they had the courage to believe in their dreams and their ability to achieve these dreams, and if they were able to appreciate the hard work and commitment it takes to get there?

Dream big today, won't you?

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Efficiency in Wedding Organisation

Efficiency is a goal that firms and individuals have tried to achieve in most, if not all aspects of day-to-day life. Employers look for ways to increase productivity at work, individuals try and find ways to cut down on time spent on chores at home and we are all constantly exploring apps that will make our lives faster and easier. Wedding planners, website designers and soon-to-be wedded couples have also started to catch up in the efficiency race, with the introduction of DIY wedding websites, where engaged couples and their families can buy templates and then use them to plan and organise their weddings.  

One service however, has taken a different approach to wedding websites. Wedeze, a new premium wedding website service founded by Gurdeep Sembi, Managing Director of SembiSoft, aims to provide an easy to use, yet fully managed service to engaged couples. Sembi says "A lot of the DIY solutions for wedding websites end up looking exactly like that, DIY. In order to have a great looking website, a lot of thought and expertise needs to go into the layout of the content, how it is presented and how user friendly it is. Even with the best designed templates, if the content is not structured correctly, the website will end up looking average.”

Wed​eze gets basic information about the wedding from the couple (or whoever else is helping to organise the wedding), and then set up a wedding website that is easily accessible from all devices. The difference between Wedeze and other DIY websites is that Wedeze set up and manage the website for you with unlimited support for a year; meaning that the couple and their family can ask for help for anything regarding their website at no additional cost, leaving them more time and resources to dedicate to other aspects of their special day (or week, depending on the type of wedding being held). 

Efficiency does not have to mean a compromise on quality, and that is exactly the sort of service that Wedeze delivers; efficiency while still being of high-quality. In terms of helping wedding planners, couples, and families looking to plan a painless and enjoyable wedding, this service definitely seems to be ahead in the game.  

Feel free to check out Wedeze right here!

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Supermoon

Got a chance to pull out my camera today after a long time, and it felt great! I did get some interesting pictures, but none compare to the real thing... it was incredibly beautiful. It feels like I've seen the moon thousands of times, and yet, moments like these never fail to take my breath away. It's the simple things, really.

To Move and To Stay

Recently, I've had to tell myself that soon (hopefully), I'll be settled down in some (as yet unknown) place. I'll relax into some sort of routine, and most of my time will be spent in the city that I choose to live and work in. One city, one home, one room. For an extended period of time. Sure, many of us make big moves in our lives; moving to different cities, states, or even countries. Yet, I've heard of a lot of people who've lived in the same 50-kilometre radius for their whole lives (which does confound me just a little bit). From my perspective, I'm one of the lucky/unlucky (take your pick) ones who has done quite a bit of moving in 22 years. Big city in East Africa, to small town in India. Small town in India, to small town in Western Kenya. Small town in Western Kenya back to big city Nairobi. Big city Nairobi to Tennessee (exactly four years ago). And most recently? A move from Tennessee, with my destination yet to be decided. And at this grown up destination, there is sure to be some sort of routine that I will fall into.

Most humans have evolved into creatures of habit. We can rarely be defined as nomads, and travel is often done with the aim of getting back to where we started from. From being something that was important and undertaken quite often by our ancestors, travel has taken on a leisurely tone, and is rarely a regular necessity.
Do I want to be forced by circumstances to have to move my home every few weeks or even days? Absolutely not. But I do want to be able to remember, when my 'life routine' has set into place, to make travel a priority. Not just travel for the sake of relaxation and exploration, but travel for the sake of learning and growing and appreciating that we live in a very big place indeed.

On that note, I've been thinking of making a travel bucket list. Of course, I have no idea where to start. There's so much diversity of place to be found a mere one hundred miles away; how do I expect myself to pick from an entire globe? But pick I must, and sooner rather than later, so that as time goes on I have something to use should I try make excuses for myself later on. Ireland would be great to start, wouldn't it?

Aspects of Culture

How much truth is there in the claim that the youth of today have no respect and love for culture? The culture they were raised in, the culture they live around, or the culture they are expected to know. Yes, nowadays, boundaries and borders are much easier to transcend due to the reach of social media and modern transport. These very vessels might make it easier for us to live in a sort of digital, personal culture, where each person operates on their own and their primary interaction with the world and people around them happen across laptop and smart phone screens. 

I have heard many people of Indian descent lament the fact that their children do not speak their 'native languages' as well as they should, or appreciate the food that they themselves grew up with. However, I think  we are making a mistake in confusing children who are rejecting culture with children who are at an age where most need to rebel in order to learn. 

We will always pick and choose which aspects of culture are maintained from generation to generation, just as people pick and choose which aspects of their religion they are comfortable with. For example, for some, cutting the hair on their heads is a grave mistake; but their beards and mustaches will be impeccably kept. Others think that loving certain kinds of people is wrong, but they'll eat things that their religion supposedly forbids. Similarly, there will be certain parts of culture that will always appeal to us more than others. 

For those who are worried that appreciation for culture is dying out, think again. As long as humans appreciate the importance of place, love, emotions and the things that make us feel and tie us together, culture will still be highly relevant in society. 

I speak from experience of course. As an Indian Kenyan, I've come to realise we have a culture of our own. We're multilingual. We appreciate (and claim) many different kinds of food. Art is important and revered. We dress up in certain ways for important occasions. Indian Kenyan-ness has such a richness to it that's hard to describe in words. And at the end of the day, we know that we have an identity that we can uniquely claim as our own. 

#YesAllWomen: My Turn

Normally, I don't tend to participate in huge social media movements that purport to change the world (think KONY). Many a time, people get caught up in sharing and liking and tweeting to such an extent that they forget what the movement or cause was actually about, if they ever even knew in the first place. However, #YesAllWomen is a rapidly growing movement that is raising awareness and telling stories of individuals too, and that's what I hope to do here. Does it literally mean 'all women'? No, not really. But are the stories applicable to most. Yes, definitely.

The other day, by which I mean two days ago, I had come back from NYC and was waiting at the train station for my aunt to come and pick me up. I was walking aimlessly, when a man came up to me. I've been approached by strangers before; to ask for directions, to tell me I dropped something, and many such similar situations. However, in this case, my instincts told me something was up because this man didn't seem to understand the concept of personal space. Also, he was rather unsteady on his feet, and took a while to formulate any sort of sentence. Turns out, he didn't speak much English, but did say something along the lines of 'you me'. Uhhh. Weird. I got on the phone and made some lingually unambiguous gesture toward it in the hopes that he would see that I was busy, and leave me alone, but no such luck.

Eventually, I went to stand with the railway cops, who told me the man was slightly drunk (unsteady on his feet. right. got it) and that they would keep an eye out. He eventually disappeared, and I breathed a sigh of relief. It was broad daylight, there were plenty of people around and it wasn't really that much of a big deal, but creepers makes me uncomfortable enough.

Now, keep in mind that this guy was shorter and scrawnier than I am. I told myself that if need be (which it probably wouldn't have been) I could 'take him on'. Later on, however, I realised that this was probably completely untrue. Yes, I may have been physically strong enough to do it, but the thought of voluntarily causing someone harm doesn't appeal to me (no matter how much they may deserve it). Despite the fact that the man made me uncomfortable, I tried to deal with it in the most polite way I could; by avoiding direct confrontation.

Usually, I wear a ring on the ring finger of my left hand; not because I'm engaged, but because I'm genuinely fond of the ring and it's the only finger that it really fits on. Of course, it's come in handy in some situations, and I remember thinking to myself that if I had had the ring on, maybe he would have left me alone much sooner, thinking that I was engaged/married. And then I stopped. And thought. And thought again. Apparently it's true.... #YesAllWomen

Love, Loss and the Land Beyond

This weekend, our family lost its eldest member, Dr. Rip Daman Singh; my paternal grandfather. He was 89 and had been ill for about 2-3 months, so this was not entirely unexpected, but it still came as something of a shock. He lived at home with us in Nairobi, and had been a part of my life for as long as I can remember.

Soon enough, the news spread far and wide, and his family members all over the globe were overwhelmed with calls, messages, and so much love and support. In these two days, I understood more than ever before how loved he was and just how many people looked up to him.

My grandfather was a doctor in Kenya during colonial times and after, and was in fact a British citizen. He travelled to quite a few places and made friends wherever he went. He was a 'tale twister' for Lions Club (quite an important distinction from 'tail twister' in a Lions' Club!) I remember whenever people came home to visit, he was always ready to laugh and share a joke or story or two from back in the day, and it always surprised me to see the wealth of experience that someone I lived with everyday had. 

Death is not an easy thing for humans to confront. In a society that has done as much as it can to make itself immortal, this final end is a harsh reminder of just how fleeting life can be. 

At this time more than ever, I wished that I could be home with my parents and the rest of the family, but also realised just how united the family was. Over three continents, this past weekend, we came together stronger than ever to celebrate the legacy of a wonderful man who is one of the reasons we are so united, and that none of us is ever truly alone. Today, he and my grandmother celebrate their 65th wedding anniversary in the land beyond. They are together again after about 21 years, and those of us left here are all celebrating a life well lived with an abundance of love and laughter. Already, we've seen signs of him smiling down at us, and we know he'll be watching over us forevermore. 

"Do not stand at my grave and weep

I am not there. I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow.

I am the diamond glints on the snow.

I am the sunlight on ripened grain.

I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you awaken in the morning’s hush

I am the swift uplifting rush

Of quiet birds in circled flight.

I am the soft stars that shine at night.

Do not stand at my grave and cry;

I am not there. I did not die."

- Mary Elizabeth Frye, 1932

This Blogger is Now a Graduate

I'm a representative of 'today's society'. I have a laptop, a smartphone, a tablet that I can read books on. I have a Bachelor of Arts degree from a pretty prestigious university (Did I mention I graduated on the 11th? WHEEEEEEEEE!) I travel pretty often. I stay in touch with people who're miles and miles away, but don't necessarily know who most of the people who live near me are. And most of all, I live a largely sedentary lifestyle.

For me, the way I live is nothing really out of the ordinary. So many people do it. I'm just another person in the larger society who has to play my part, right? The other day though, I was thinking about how it would be to interact with an ancestor. Not a really, really old one, but maybe one or two centuries back. That's when the differences really struck me.

Back in the day, so much of the day consisted not in sitting down and staring at a computer screen all day, but standing and walking and doing physical labour; men and women both. Children, instead of playing racing games on their iPads and Xboxes, would spend considerable amounts of time outdoors, running around and potentially actually racing with their peers.

Instead of meals purchased at the frozen foods section, food was fresh and prepared daily, and I daresay much healthier than anything I choose to eat today.

People sent letters to others in faraway places, but had lots of interaction with their neighbours and the surrounding community.

Now, that's not to say that I'd love to go back and live in the past. Not at all. I love the blessings that modern plumbing has bestowed on us, and I recognise the fact that as a woman who wants a fulfilling career, I may not have had much options in the past. Definitely, going back two centuries would mean that my home would not be in my beloved Kenya, but rather in India, the place of my ancestors. Two centuries ago, as a 22 year old, I may have already been married (eek) and possibly even had children by now, when now, even having a dog may be a lot to look after. One of my great-something-grandmothers was married at 13, widowed at 18 with children, and lived to be about 99 plus if I'm not mistaken. At 18, my biggest concern was freshman year French.

I do think it would be nice to have a life that was faster paced; not with stress but with activity and interaction. Maybe awareness is key? I think I'll go take a walk and find out.

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Respect Earned and Deserved

Society, and those of us who live in it, has this way of giving respect to those who are very vocal, those who stand up in the public eye and demand it, those who seem to command respect simply by virtue of their position in life. This leads me to pose a question; has respect become something that is entirely about show? Unfortunately, many times, this does seem to be the case.

Many people I know who are endowed with quiet strength, who tend to live in the background yet play a vital and often unnoticed role in the lives of the people around them don't seem to command the same level of respect that their peers do.

Just because these people don't stand up and say, "Hey, look at me! I did this, I am so-and-so and I deserve respect!" or because no one else says it for them doesn't mean that they should get less. Indeed, I could argue that there are many 'ordinary' people I know in the background who have a lot of strength and character and deserve more respect than some of their peers who are better known, in leadership positions and who tend to have a large social presence.

This is the point where I feel I must clarify myself. Not all the respect given to the leaders among us is undeserved. In fact, most of it is not. However, instead of freely giving respect to those that society tells us deserve it, I'd like to see a day when it is given to people who deserve it by virtue of having earned it.

Importance of Linguality

I speak four and a half languages (the half being that I'm still learning French). This was never much of a big deal to me in Kenya, but coming to a place like Sewanee, speaking more than two seemed to be a sort of miracle.

For those of us who grow up in Kenya but are of an Indian background, we are automatically trilingual. We speak English, which is our primary language. We speak Swahili, which we pick up from the indigenous Kenyans around us. We also speak whatever our mother tongue happens to be, which in my case is Punjabi. My fourth language, Hindi, is very closely related to Punjabi, and was reinforced by the watching of shows and movies in the language, as well as interactions with those of my extended family who live in India.
Growing up multilingual makes it much easier to pick up new languages, especially at a young age. However, I never really appreciated the importance of languages until very recently.

I remember back in one of the schools I attended when I was younger, when I was reprimanded for using a language other than English. To be fair, I was referring to my grandfather, who we call 'Dadaji,' a term used in Punjabi and Hindi for a paternal grandfather. At that time, I never really questioned why we weren't allowed to speak and celebrate other languages at that particular school. At home, when my parents encouraged me to speak Punjabi so that I could keep up with it, I would whine and complain and speak it as badly as I could in some form of weak rebellion.

I think my real appreciation of language started when I came to Sewanee; confronted by many peers who weren't bilingual, much less trilingual, I found that I celebrated the part of me that could understand and converse in more than just English. I'm not saying that there is anything wrong with knowing just one language, as not everyone has the desire or even need to know more, just that there are many benefits to be enjoyed from understanding more than one.

For starters, speaking more than one language does give one the ability to interact with many different sorts of people, and bridge many gaps. I remember when I was younger, and staying at a hotel down at the coast with my family. I was sent to return the beach towels for the day, and met a French lady who didn't speak any English, and a hotel worker who didn't speak any French. I was able to act as an interpreter (although I don't know how well I did...), and that seemed really cool at the time. Over time, I've realised that being able to speak more than one language has given me the ability to transcend cultures and understand different sorts of people, pick up on contextual clues, and be able to learn more from the people around me.

Another thing that learning languages helps enable is the learning of other things. I've always been a voracious reader (I finished the LOTR trilogy in three days when I was younger), and I wonder if part of this is just that being multilingual increased my ability to understand material faster when I was younger. Psychologists have done research on the effects multilinguality has on the brain and neural pathways; in this respect, a Google search or a conversation with someone trained in this field may yield more information than I could provide in a simple post.

I think one of the things I love best about languages is that they help to preserve and maintain cultures, and many of these cultures are so historically rich.
As soon as I have time to, I intend on finishing French and then picking up a sixth... I'm open to suggestions if anyone has any!
Celebrate linguality today, won't you!

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