tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-58067327795301647542024-03-19T06:22:52.600+03:00The Kenyan NomadLife's a journey, and I love exploring.
I believe we should live well, love much and laugh often. Twende!Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger288125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5806732779530164754.post-60779285611889760062022-09-09T17:04:00.000+03:002022-09-09T17:04:12.147+03:00On Loneliness<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAfeOw87dPF-2nuBWRgC3d-DhjC9mWWY6s8CaQISKVsE9Ahm_PJBqBNcPkHmPDYkyBfH_5b1tZVmEAJ6T6NX2PTVoZHIXFg-3UCR2ZL-gZ03OGKVdjpbaQNWcIwdU0m41v9ZoJMIxr0soEAPCgA8tbXtoNEtxD_GFnvYoWVWQLlanEeyHkp6fWZa31/s1920/man-g3e3ad645e_1920.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1279" data-original-width="1920" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAfeOw87dPF-2nuBWRgC3d-DhjC9mWWY6s8CaQISKVsE9Ahm_PJBqBNcPkHmPDYkyBfH_5b1tZVmEAJ6T6NX2PTVoZHIXFg-3UCR2ZL-gZ03OGKVdjpbaQNWcIwdU0m41v9ZoJMIxr0soEAPCgA8tbXtoNEtxD_GFnvYoWVWQLlanEeyHkp6fWZa31/w400-h266/man-g3e3ad645e_1920.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p>At the most basic level, humans want and need connection. <b>And yet, when I’m lonely, I’m ashamed of expressing that need</b>—a shame that doesn’t arise when I’ve felt thirsty, yet loneliness and thirst are both signals that my body is sending me that tell me I need something. </p><p>Connection is an issue I’ve been pondering for a while now—specifically connection between friends and peers, at work and outside. The idea of putting in work into romantic and familial relationships has been acceptable for a while now (not everywhere, true, and we still have a way to go). When I’m thinking about something, I’ll want to read about it. This winter, I spent time on Dr. Vivek Murthy’s (the 21st US Surgeon General) book, <i>Together: The Healing Power of Human Connection in a Sometimes Lonely World</i>. </p><p>So much about the book resonated, and I loved him speaking about moais—social networks originated in Japan that entailed five friends coming together for emotional, relational, financial, and logistical support. Dr. Murthy spoke about his own moai that committed to monthly video calls, reaching out whenever needed, and being real in their conversations. He credits it with changing his life and being a strong support system and circle of advisers that have helped him make important decisions, including whether or not to accept the surgeon-general’s position again. I lowkey but not so lowkey want one of my own!</p><p>The potential health effects of loneliness are depressing at best, terrifying at worst. I won’t go into these too much, as the book does a much better job, but it helped me understand that feeling a lack of connection isn’t an issue I can—or should—put off for much longer.</p><p>I was fortunate to be in the audience yesterday when Dr. Murthy addressed a group at the Yale School of Management, of which he is an alumnus and where I’m currently doing my MBA. He touched on the shame behind loneliness—people misreading it to believe that they’re unlikeable, or worse, unlovable. </p><p>“Your problem is not that you don’t have friends. It’s that you are not experiencing friendship.” This is what a friend of his told him when he was expressing his own connection needs. I needed to pause (as much as one can as an audience member) and let this sink in. <b>Yes, yes this exactly</b>. I’m incredibly fortunate to have a number of close friends whom I cherish deeply. These people have my back, and they understand me. So why have I felt this loneliness from time to time? Most of them live a few flights away from me, and I haven’t been experiencing friendship as much as I’ve needed to.</p><p>This ties into another quote of his which really resonated: “Connections which are useful at staving off loneliness are those in which we are seen and heard.” As above, these connections exist for many of us—they certainly do for me—but experiencing these connections is vital to feel seen and heard. </p><p>I’ve been reflecting since—hence the need to write today—and I realise I need to be better not just at expressing my needs to my networks, but also at ensuring I’m creating space for connection for others--for my friends, for my teams, for my peers and those around me, to ensure that they’re also experiencing connection and feeling seen, heard, and understood. Today’s reflection was more personal, but I believe absolutely applicable and vital to think about in workplaces.</p><p>I hope you'll be doing the same.</p><p><br /></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5806732779530164754.post-80194117660185151192022-08-23T15:04:00.003+03:002022-08-23T15:04:20.861+03:0042 Lessons from 42 Years<p> <span style="background-color: white; color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.9); font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", Roboto, "Helvetica Neue", "Fira Sans", Ubuntu, Oxygen, "Oxygen Sans", Cantarell, "Droid Sans", "Apple Color Emoji", "Segoe UI Emoji", "Segoe UI Emoji", "Segoe UI Symbol", "Lucida Grande", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">My amazing sister, </span><a data-attribute-index="0" data-entity-hovercard-id="urn:li:fs_miniProfile:ACoAAAYkEAQB-ViU4pQYf99aHGxI45CM5nsJyRo" data-entity-type="MINI_PROFILE" href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/ACoAAAYkEAQB-ViU4pQYf99aHGxI45CM5nsJyRo" style="background-color: white; border: var(--artdeco-reset-link-border-zero); box-sizing: inherit; font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", Roboto, "Helvetica Neue", "Fira Sans", Ubuntu, Oxygen, "Oxygen Sans", Cantarell, "Droid Sans", "Apple Color Emoji", "Segoe UI Emoji", "Segoe UI Emoji", "Segoe UI Symbol", "Lucida Grande", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-weight: var(--font-weight-bold); line-height: inherit !important; margin: var(--artdeco-reset-base-margin-zero); overflow-wrap: normal; padding: var(--artdeco-reset-base-padding-zero); position: relative; text-decoration: var(--artdeco-reset-link-text-decoration-none); touch-action: manipulation; vertical-align: var(--artdeco-reset-base-vertical-align-baseline); word-break: normal;">Ranjeeta Walia</a><span style="background-color: white; color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.9); font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", Roboto, "Helvetica Neue", "Fira Sans", Ubuntu, Oxygen, "Oxygen Sans", Cantarell, "Droid Sans", "Apple Color Emoji", "Segoe UI Emoji", "Segoe UI Emoji", "Segoe UI Symbol", "Lucida Grande", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">, turned 42 yesterday. As a joke, I asked her for 42 lessons she'd learnt along the way. As soon as she started spouting wisdom, though, I knew I had to capture these and share with a broader audience.</span></p><br style="background-color: white; box-sizing: inherit; color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.9); font-family: -apple-system, system-ui, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Segoe UI", Roboto, "Helvetica Neue", "Fira Sans", Ubuntu, Oxygen, "Oxygen Sans", Cantarell, "Droid Sans", "Apple Color Emoji", "Segoe UI Emoji", "Segoe UI Emoji", "Segoe UI Symbol", "Lucida Grande", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: inherit !important;" /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXE3jydBWtir2vK-77HCfUTXmNCzVlz_qvQYlxsV_sQPu8ypArUMpXWZABMCvgBgfEaXOsMERlK5NOx8EfyS_8u1JIYGBZXVXii2HrHi-oJZPU_7ix8az-VITjLkiyiMcCjEyjF5eLTg9T5GGbhogAtayK3QwYqUynTOf1VpecMI9KUkh7llD4cQGU/s4032/IMG_2174.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4032" data-original-width="3024" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXE3jydBWtir2vK-77HCfUTXmNCzVlz_qvQYlxsV_sQPu8ypArUMpXWZABMCvgBgfEaXOsMERlK5NOx8EfyS_8u1JIYGBZXVXii2HrHi-oJZPU_7ix8az-VITjLkiyiMcCjEyjF5eLTg9T5GGbhogAtayK3QwYqUynTOf1VpecMI9KUkh7llD4cQGU/s320/IMG_2174.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><br /><div><div>1. Never compromise on your core values/ principles<br /><br /></div><div>2. Always seize opportunities to grow and become a better human being. There’s always something to learn<br /><br /></div><div>3. Eat those vegetables/ aim for a well-balanced diet<br /><br /></div><div>4. Don’t be quick to judge others<br /><br /></div><div>5. Respect people irrespective of their age or position in life <br /><br /></div><div>6. Look after yourself mind, body, and soul <br /><br /></div><div>7. Cultivate relationships with people who love you for you/ people you can be yourself around and who are sincere with you <br /><br /></div><div>8. If you must have a life partner (not everyone wants one), take your time to find one who complements you. Remember you are already a complete human being on your own, so no one else can complete you<br /><br /></div><div>9. Don’t give unsolicited advice <br /><br /></div><div>10. Never miss an opportunity to brighten someone’s day <br /><br /></div><div>11. Our mission in life (indeed, our innate being) is about being happy so do what makes you happy as long as it does not hurt someone else<br /><br /></div><div>12. It’s never too early to learn about and apply knowledge of personal financial management so invest in this knowledge; financial independence is key<br /><br /></div><div>13. Invest in moments, not things. Material things just create clutter while moments are experiences that give you true happiness<br /><br /></div><div>14. Mental well-being is just as important as physical well-being and there’s no shame in seeing a therapist regularly<br /><br /></div><div>15. Read voraciously. It’s an easy and fun way to learn and grow <br /><br /></div><div>16. 7-8 hours of sleep regularly is important for one’s well-being and productivity <br /><br /></div><div>17. Cultivate and set aside time for your hobbies <br /><br /></div><div>18. Make time for close friends and family <br /><br /></div><div>19. Movement/ some form of exercise is a great way to improve your mental and physical well being <br /><br /></div><div>20. Spending time with pets (especially dogs) and nature is very therapeutic <br /><br /></div><div>21. Be there for your friends and family, especially in times of grief <br /><br /></div><div>22. Regularly donate to charity <br /><br /></div><div>23. There is a higher power/ being looking out for us <br /><br /></div><div>24. Some skills, e.g., changing a tire and cooking, are life skills everyone should know—irrespective of gender <br /><br /></div><div>25. Take some risks in life/ get out of your comfort zone once in a while; it helps you grow <br /><br /></div><div>26. Look for the lesson in hard times/ challenges <br /><br /></div><div>27. Try and spend time alone regularly <br /><br /></div><div>28. Never be ashamed or apologise for being yourself <br /><br /></div><div>29. Cultivate a practice of gratitude<br /><br /></div><div>30. Always look for the silver lining <br /><br /></div><div>31. Work at finding a balance in life; life is not just about work <br /><br /></div><div>32. We all make mistakes in life; learn to genuinely apologise and take responsibility for your mistakes as well as learn from them <br /><br /></div><div>33. Set an example for the next generation in your behaviour<br /><br /></div><div>34. It’s a good thing to have an opinion and never be afraid to express it <br /><br /></div><div>35. Emotional abuse is just as bad as physical abuse <br /><br /></div><div>36. Travel when you can. It opens your mind and is a great way to meet new people and experience different cultures <br /><br /></div><div>37. Always try and be kind, even when giving constructive feedback <br /><br /></div><div>38. Mean what you say and say what you mean <br /><br /></div><div>39. A genuine apology comes with changed behaviour <br /><br /></div><div>40. Anything that’s worthy in life comes with time and effort<br /><br /></div><div>41. Don’t be pressured by timelines in life—we all have different paths in this journey, so stop comparing yourself to others your age<br /><br /></div><div>42. Don’t lose that inner child. Children know what true happiness is and are not afraid to be themselves</div></div><div><br /></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5806732779530164754.post-26199239722449475012022-06-21T13:30:00.001+03:002022-06-21T13:30:00.149+03:00To Be, To Listen<p>Noise. <br /><br />It was there when I first emerged into the world. It's always there, I'm accustomed to it--to the point that when it's quiet, I feel like something is missing. </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPtJu6gJz14vmBNNJJmMsNpxaHlB-FWvJwTTiUYs0FJSvGL7AiwdhH4Xes7yJp_r3rRM30Mv_sv8_vu8Wjj22kSKn6sqyBsIYKBewbYdKngTsgRFbXAJNLPixGz1sm6hYbYf3m-CqKpDSKcjfLjdYDvJ4gEJyj_twL6m_oRpParmi1k2dzgoMaqfm_/s1920/tree-3725908_1920.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1271" data-original-width="1920" height="265" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPtJu6gJz14vmBNNJJmMsNpxaHlB-FWvJwTTiUYs0FJSvGL7AiwdhH4Xes7yJp_r3rRM30Mv_sv8_vu8Wjj22kSKn6sqyBsIYKBewbYdKngTsgRFbXAJNLPixGz1sm6hYbYf3m-CqKpDSKcjfLjdYDvJ4gEJyj_twL6m_oRpParmi1k2dzgoMaqfm_/w400-h265/tree-3725908_1920.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br /><p>There's the constant urge to fill moments with noise that have resulted in the inability to be still and to listen. To be still. To be. Whether my phone and the myriad of distractions within, or movement, or the many books I've read, I've forgotten how to exist in silence. </p><p>Yesterday, I went on a surprise visit organised by the Executive Director of <a href="https://metiscollective.org/" target="_blank">Metis</a>, where I'm interning this winter. We ended up at Nairobi National Park, and the open greenness of the park juxtaposed with the city in the background was ideal for thinking, as was the conversation sparked my colleagues, from which two themes emerged: stillness and attention. </p><p>I could contextualise where these came from, but I think that matters less than the fact that they did. And they resonated, deeply. </p><p>I've forgotten how to be still. I've forgotten to use that stillness to pay attention in a way that matters. Instead, stillness is so foreign that it's almost frightening. That I rush to fill it--either with distractions that take me away from it or with ruminations that feed into a growing sense of anxiety about my life, about the future, about my country, about existence itself. </p><p>"Who would you be without your anxiety?" My therapist asked me this question about a year and a half ago and it stopped me in my tracks. It's a question I'm still exploring, and I'm slowly realising that <b>the stillness that feeds my anxiety is the same stillness I'm called to pay attention to in order to dissolve it</b>. </p><p>I have forgotten how to be bored. We as a society have forgotten how to be bored. This has implications on my ability as a 30 year old to <a href="https://www.linkedin.com/posts/roshniwalia_leadership-organizationalculture-organizationalperformance-activity-6799982347484704768-0WEA?utm_source=linkedin_share&utm_medium=member_desktop_web" target="_blank">create vs. just execute</a>. I can't even begin to imagine what this means for children. <br /><br />What does this mean for me, then? <br /><br />I'm holding myself accountable, gently, kindly, to be still. To tune into that stillness and pay attention to it and to what matters. To be grateful for the ability and privilege to do so. To stop letting my head be louder than my heart. </p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5806732779530164754.post-45205021359974489312022-06-15T21:18:00.005+03:002023-06-15T14:50:02.536+03:00On Being Kenyan <p><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span></p><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhj8U-glrGkMTmaEb3d0WQ4KixgO89bjTQibdcmuMOcG8nGyBxDZSHggo6hA9ZnERZU2WCpPDqmQDjTaZhgmCVG56tFFfpEfDmMVDEn6LMOge9C5Rxlo_5u4oiSN8sX1eRmfi64F1TQTc2_vroO_zovvYAXQwwKtPZZSs7iXTQ7nt-3e1iqalaKTC9b/s6016/DSC_0421.JPG" style="background-color: white; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="4000" data-original-width="6016" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhj8U-glrGkMTmaEb3d0WQ4KixgO89bjTQibdcmuMOcG8nGyBxDZSHggo6hA9ZnERZU2WCpPDqmQDjTaZhgmCVG56tFFfpEfDmMVDEn6LMOge9C5Rxlo_5u4oiSN8sX1eRmfi64F1TQTc2_vroO_zovvYAXQwwKtPZZSs7iXTQ7nt-3e1iqalaKTC9b/w400-h266/DSC_0421.JPG" title="Lions at Ol Pejeta" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption"><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span><span> </span>Quintessentially Kenyan<br /></td></tr></tbody></table><p>21 September 2013. A dark day in Kenya's history but one that also brought a lot of unity. Everyone came together to help. "Even the Indians," it was said. "Najivunia kuwa mkenya" was shared by Kenyans near and far. <br /><br />Today, you see everyone with that beaded bracelet on their wrist. You know the one I'm talking about. Kenya on one side, the Kenyan flag on the other.</p>Or that feeling of happiness when you hear someone speak Kiswahili on the other side of the globe. "I'm Kenyan too!"<br /><br />Don't get us started on our beaches and our national parks. They're amazing, and you should definitely check them out. <br /><br />What does it mean to be Kenyan? <br /><br />Recently—unfortunately—for most people, being Kenyan has been a passive, positive thing. We celebrate the good but turn our faces away when confronted with the bad. Somebody else's problem, right? It's easy to see differences emerge once we have to deal with the hard stuff. Especially so when our privilege means that the hard stuff actually serves us—even if this is at the expense of others. <br /><br /><b>We do not have a shared Kenyan identity. We do not have shared pride in being Kenyan. <br /></b><br />Sure, there are some things about Kenya we are willing to celebrate loud and proud. But if we truly had a shared identity and were proud of being Kenyan, it would mean that we'd be willing to put in the work to deal with the stuff that's not so great. <br /><br />Misaligned incentives are at the core of many of the issues we have here. Think about corruption—it serves many to engage in this. In fact, thinking about getting rid of corruption is likely to have some people squirming, because the current systems serve them. We feed into a system that serves us, without regard for those who're punished because they can't engage with it, for many reasons including affordability (strange how we think of corruption as being affordable or not, isn't it?). Let's take another issue, traffic. A similar dynamic is at play here, where people are willing to watch out for themselves, without care for how this impacts others. <br /><p>I don't think that there are groups that are more or less guilty of this than others—at least, the idealist in me hopes so. However, it does seem that over time, those with the determination to make changes lose steam and give way to a commonly-held cynicism. It won't change in our lifetimes, so why bother at all? <br /><br />Why bother at all? <br /><br />Because Kenyans are resilient and warm and innovative. Because our entrepreneurship culture is to be celebrated. Because of a myriad of other reasons I couldn't begin to name. <br /><br />Because why <b>shouldn't </b>people speak about us they way they do Nigeria and South Africa? <br /><br />What is it going to take? How do we build a shared identity, and start to strengthen that which is good in our country as we work to change that which is not?<br /><br />Honestly, I don't know. I'm hoping that there will be some wiser than myself who'll read this and reach out with an answer. <br /><br />What I do know is that individuals can make commitments in the right direction. Commitments to question the status quo. To believe that we can be better. For those who can, to use our privilege to elevate other Kenyans. To stop only watching out for ourselves. <b>To be kind. </b></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5806732779530164754.post-89458236618985133412021-01-20T16:00:00.001+03:002021-01-20T16:00:08.413+03:0010 Lessons from Books That Changed my Life <p>Roll your eyes at this title all you want, but I am absolutely giddy with glee at being able to use a click-baity headline that’s truthful! And sure, it’s not that reading these book was like immediately ingesting a magical formula. It’s more that when I read them, the messages resonated with my journey and where I was at the time, and there’s something powerful I took away from them that’s stayed with me to date. Personal development/ lifelong learning is one of my top values, and these books have spurred me along on that journey. </p><p>Disclaimer: I expect that this list will evolve over time; both as I read new books but also as I revisit old ones whose messages may resonate better than they initially did. </p><ol style="text-align: left;"><li><b>We become (or manifest) what we think</b>, from The Secret by Rhonda Byrne. The central thesis of this book is that we manifest what we think, to the point that we manifest EXACTLY what we think. I remember one particular part of the book, where the author references someone imagining a feather in great detail, and then a few days (weeks? months?) later, seeing that exact feather float down in front of them. Now, when I read that book, I may have taken the message more literally than I should’ve (as you can tell, I’m skeptical (but open to changing my mind)), but now have come to realise that our thinking is something incredibly powerful, and can profoundly influence who we are. Seems obvious when I put it that way, right? By thinking happier thoughts, by internalising them, we can truly BECOME happier. Jury’s still out on manifesting pretty feathers. <br /><br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://smile.amazon.com/dp/B002M5E2DW/ref=smi_www_rco2_go_smi_g4368549507?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1&ie=UTF8" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="330" data-original-width="260" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-SI9NVJ60egk/YAgcOeDzNzI/AAAAAAAAFts/jULOSTnRuMMmMwej_8rXVZGI61rkViYbACLcBGAsYHQ/s320/The%2BSecret.jpg" /></a></div><br /></li><li><b>Vulnerability is not weakness</b>, from Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead by Brené Brown. Us mere mortals cannot hope to put into words the power of her work, so if you haven’t already, I’d encourage you to check out her iconic <a href="https://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_the_power_of_vulnerability?language=en" target="_blank">TED Talk</a> and then read this book as soon as you can. I’ve read it about three or four times in the past three years, and it’s probably the book I gift others most often. <br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://brenebrown.com/books-audio/" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="500" data-original-width="325" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-m3lHxD7_ZO0/YAgcaUCEolI/AAAAAAAAFuc/Lgv_nKUT-coKqeOr6AAmXYzStIzC3e3FwCLcBGAsYHQ/s320/Daring%2BGreatly.jpg" /></a></div><br /></li><li><b>Sleep is a nonnegotiable priority</b>, from Why We Sleep: Unlocking the Power of Sleep and Dreams by Matthew Walker. Here’s another simple lesson that we may be forgiven for thinking is more accepted than it currently is. I’d always known sleep is necessary on some level, sure. This book really hit home WHY we need to sleep, why we don’t just need to sleep, but need good quality sleep, and all the scary stuff that can happen if you don’t sleep. I’d especially recommend this if you’re in a professional path where sleep is often the activity that gets compromised due to academic or professional work loads. Oh, look! He’s another one of those with an awesome <a href="https://www.ted.com/talks/matt_walker_sleep_is_your_superpower" target="_blank">TED Talk</a> you can check out.<br /><br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B06Y649387/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1345" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-peuy22uMh_0/YAgcmUIYZfI/AAAAAAAAFu0/TKkrHT8T-N0iyi9hKVA8nJBP3Bcj2i9YQCLcBGAsYHQ/s320/why-we-sleep-9781501144325_hr.jpg" /></a></div><br /></li><li><b>Solve for energy, not time</b>, from The Power of Full Engagement: Managing Energy, Not Time, Is the Key to High Performance and Personal Renewal by James E. Loehr and Tony Schwartz. Along the same work-life balance lines for lack of a better category (life-life balance maybe?), this book <a href="https://www.mckinsey.com/careers/meet-our-people/careers-blog/roshni?kui=CsbaHqa-qGngOwCym_Q41w" target="_blank">helped me realise</a> that when your energy is at its highest level, you bring your best self to all aspects of your life and get the best out of all your resources, including time. And there are things we can do to cultivate and replenish our energy and but we DO need to remember that our energy is not infinite (hence the need for replenishment). <br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Power-Full-Engagement-Managing-Performance-ebook/dp/B000FC0SWS/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3GAA41TME6WYU&dchild=1&keywords=the+power+of+full+engagement&qid=1611145150&s=digital-text&sprefix=the+power+of+full%2Cdigital-text%2C409&sr=1-1" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="500" data-original-width="305" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-iOxYIDUAhPo/YAgcsoUvn4I/AAAAAAAAFu8/t5DIMpXPJwkSDRRU4lY2E5TCf-0O8osyACLcBGAsYHQ/s320/The%2BPower%2Bof%2BFull%2BEngagement.jpg" /></a></div><br /></li><li><b>Simplify, reduce, prioritise,</b> from Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less by Greg McKeown. This books speaks a lot about prioritising in a professional context, but the stuff that I took away was more about prioritising personally; for example, the people whose opinions matter and the things I choose to spend my time (and energy!) on.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://gregmckeown.com/book/" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1225" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-w1bBCbTssv4/YAgcw3iS4GI/AAAAAAAAFvA/4aCD10RCsMMsYNTccgbg2IbHCk174IexACLcBGAsYHQ/s320/Essentialism.jpg" /></a></div><br /></li><li><b>All we have is now,</b> from The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. This book, along with conversations with the friend who gave it to me, have helped ground me in the present (another simple, obvious thing I don’t do enough). I realised I was spending unnecessary time and energy analysing my past or preparing for my future—time and energy that were taking away from today.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B002361MLA/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="500" data-original-width="500" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-LNbvIklx7xU/YAgc2uxtrhI/AAAAAAAAFvI/4M7mYnMCzS8F3awNdoZAycCUqP_DRO4PQCLcBGAsYHQ/s320/The%2BPower%2Bof%2BNow.jpg" /></a></div><br /></li><li><b>We’re capable of terrible and beautiful things,</b> from The Ten Types of Human: Who We Are and Who We Can Be by Dexter Dias. This book is a <a href="https://meandmine-r.blogspot.com/2019/01/12-reads-of-2018.html" target="_blank">TRIP</a>. Dias explores ten archetypes of humans, making the case that we can be (and we are) all of them. All of the greatest and worst of humanity’s achievements are things are things we’re ALL potentially capable of. It’s scary and yet empowering at the same time. Emphasis on the empowering; we’re not necessarily slaves to our human nature (whatever that means), but can CHOOSE. <br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Ten-Types-Human-New-Understanding-ebook/dp/B019CGXN06#:~:text=The%20Ten%20Types%20of%20Human%20is%20a%20pioneering%20examination%20of,and%20actions%20in%20extreme%20situations." imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="346" data-original-width="226" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-eD5opyXlFxU/YAgc7moDsSI/AAAAAAAAFvM/05XLiUydFCc5Tm6oXEGE1cv3MYGLq_oggCLcBGAsYHQ/s320/The%2BTen%2BTypes%2Bof%2BHuman.jpg" /></a></div><br /></li><li><b>But mostly, we tend toward beautiful things,</b> from Humankind: A Hopeful History by Rutger Bregman. I know, I know, humans are crap sometimes. Well, we choose to be. This is the perfect follow up to the previous title. It was the perfect read to end my 2020 with and reminded me that actually, humans are pretty decent overall (you’re probably at all the way at skeptical on a scale from 0 to skeptical, but trust me, check it out). Not only does this book make the case for humans being good and decent, it works to dispel some of the erroneous myths based on sensationalised cases like Kitty Genovese’s murder and the Stanford prison experiments. <br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.rutgerbregman.com/books" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="769" data-original-width="500" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-HJxofvF0Ah0/YAgdBvXz19I/AAAAAAAAFvU/g6xdkNEjZdELGoJR-bFpr8ctK9HZ3l-nQCLcBGAsYHQ/s320/Humankind.jpg" /></a></div><br /></li><li><b>Say yes!!</b> From Year of Yes by Shonda Rhimes. This one is self-explanatory, but I experimented with using this for about a year, and I definitely felt much happier/freer/ less encumbered. <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div></li></ol><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00YTG3C0G/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="1360" data-original-width="880" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-rbPDoJgXvl0/YAgdTbwV8MI/AAAAAAAAFvo/NJxrnXZU5IwFYmK3Zi9-z1fWg82EA-bhQCLcBGAsYHQ/s320/Year%2Bof%2BYes.jpg" /></a><br /><br /></div><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0 0 0 40px; padding: 0px;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">And last but not least,</div></blockquote><p> </p><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0 0 0 40px; padding: 0px;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><b>10. Romance is a great genre,</b> from the Bridgerton Series by Julia Quinn. I know, I know, you expected this post to be full of preachy, self-help-y wisdom, and then I threw a historical romance series at you. Psshhh. Life is nothing if there’s no time for fun! This is the first historical romance series I read more than a decade ago (maybe even the first romance series?), and it opened up the genre for me. It’s funny, well-written, with believable characters who have GREAT chemistry (not just in the romantic sense). Of course I’m celebrating now that it’s been (further) popularised by the aforementioned Shonda Rhimes in a new Netflix series. (Us diehard fans are shaking are heads as we breathe “FINALLY!”)</div></blockquote><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://juliaquinn.com/series/bridgertons/" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="1280" height="225" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-XwLszmWt_oY/YAgdnyMYiQI/AAAAAAAAFv0/v-kBFaYNknUnaP1jZfBiY1VKz0_3XBjrwCLcBGAsYHQ/w400-h225/Bridgerton.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br /><div><br /></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0Nairobi, Kenya-1.2920659 36.8219462-29.602299736178846 1.6656961999999993 27.018167936178845 71.9781962tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5806732779530164754.post-91667555487808190272020-09-22T21:36:00.002+03:002020-09-22T21:36:29.109+03:00On Social Intelligence<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-jMX_sOT6t3A/X2pBw9lWq-I/AAAAAAAAFpg/PsTWESLGtOEFxlX3ybs3Nhu-PyyIlyjIACLcBGAsYHQ/s1381/Social%2BIntelligence.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1381" data-original-width="902" height="400" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-jMX_sOT6t3A/X2pBw9lWq-I/AAAAAAAAFpg/PsTWESLGtOEFxlX3ybs3Nhu-PyyIlyjIACLcBGAsYHQ/w261-h400/Social%2BIntelligence.jpg" width="261" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><p></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;">I first read Daniel Goleman’s ‘Social Intelligence’ in December 2015, on a year-end trip with my parents. I enjoyed it then, and have intended to revisit it since. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;">I’m not quite sure what took me so long—I finally picked it up a few weeks ago and finished it this weekend—but I’m glad I read it at this point, as it was incredibly timely. This is not only because COVID has changed social interactions and connections in an interesting way, but because over the past year or so, I’ve been thinking about connection and trying to be more deliberate about this. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;">If I was to sum up the central theme of this book, it would be this:</span></p><p></p><blockquote><span style="font-family: inherit;">Our social intelligence, which Goleman organises into two categories (social awareness, what we sense about others, and social facility, what we do with this awareness), is something that is shaped by our backgrounds, our cultures, and our pasts, but it can also be worked on through our lives. This does require a degree of deliberation, but its payoffs can be huge. Working on and applying social intelligence can have lots of benefits to us and those around us; on the flipside, neglecting it can have detrimental effects. </span></blockquote><p></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;">It's important enough to share, so I won’t paraphrase. Here is how Goleman breaks down the components of social intelligence: </span></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b></b></span></p><blockquote><p><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>Social awareness</b></span></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;">Social awareness refers to a spectrum that runs from instantaneously sensing another’s inner state, to sensing her feelings and thoughts, to “getting” complicated social situations. It includes:</span></p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><span style="font-family: inherit;">Primal empathy: Feeling with other; sensing nonverbal emotional signals.</span></li><li><span style="font-family: inherit;">Attunement: Listening with full receptivity; attuning to a person. </span></li><li><span style="font-family: inherit;">Empathic accuracy: Understanding another person’s thoughts, feelings, and intentions. </span></li><li><span style="font-family: inherit;">Social cognition: Knowing how the social world works.</span></li></ul><p></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>Social facility</b></span></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;">Simply sensing how another feels, or knowing what they think or intend, does not guarantee fruitful interactions. Social facility builds on social awareness to allow smooth, effective interactions. The spectrum of social facility includes:</span></p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><span style="font-family: inherit;">Synchrony: Interacting smoothly at the nonverbal level. </span></li><li><span style="font-family: inherit;">Self-presentation: Presenting ourselves effectively. </span></li><li><span style="font-family: inherit;">Influence: Shaping the outcome of social interactions. </span></li><li><span style="font-family: inherit;">Concern: Caring about others’ needs and acting accordingly. </span></li></ul></blockquote><p> The following is a (by no means comprehensive) list of my reflections inspired by this book, and built on by thinking about the content and speaking to others: </p><p></p><ol style="text-align: left;"><li><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>Empathy is undervalued but incredibly important.</b> Lack of empathy can change an I-You relationship into an I-It relationship. This makes it easy to ‘other’ people, which can lead to Us vs. Them walls. There are things we can do to build empathy—I’m not going to be comprehensive here due to numerous resources available elsewhere—but there’s something to be said about listening to those around us and ensuring we expose ourselves to diversity. <br /><br /></span></li><li><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>Emotions are contagious.</b> We all know this on some level. Everyone has emotions, and those emotions can be contagious—more so depending on our relationship with the person in question. This brings up another recurring theme for me this year, that of boundaries. This point calls on us to be more deliberate about our boundaries, both in terms of what we allow into our space, but also in terms of how we express our own emotions and put them on others. <br /><br /></span></li><li><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>Our relationships shape us.</b> What’s that saying, something about you become the five people you spend the most time with? Well, it’s true! And when I say shape us, these relationships shape us on a biological level, to the point of influencing how various genes are expressed. It again brings up the point of deliberation. When we’re younger, we do not have as much control over the people we spend time with. However, as we become older, we can be thoughtful and intentional about the relationships around us, and how we cultivate connection in these relationships. This intentionality must also extend to thinking about how we show up for those we have relationships with. <br /><br /></span></li><li><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>Humans are wired to connect</b>—connection has a wide range of benefits and can even serve to make us happier (no surprise) and healthier. Another word that’s come up a lot this year: interconnectedness. We seek, crave, NEED connection with others, yet often feel ashamed of this. Not only should this need not be a source of shame, but it should be something we act on, something that we use to understand we actively need to cultivate connections with those around us. Just like buying a plant and not watering it is a sure way to kill it, being in a relationship, any relationship, and not working on it is a similar death sentence. Work can look like many things here, but it’s important to consider conversation (distance and time don’t kill relationships, silence does), vulnerability, and shared experiences (at varying degrees of complexity). <br /><br /></span></li><li><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>Friendships are even more important than we thought.</b> There’s a prevalent underlying belief that friendships are less important than family and romantic relationships. However, studies have shown that this is not the case—for example, a study quoted in this book showed that people often reported being happiest when they were with friends. Again, this points back to the need to be deliberate, and to cultivate. <br /><br /></span></li><li><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>We all need a secure base.</b> Every relationship ideally should provide a secure base, but I think that this is even more important in some cases. For example, parent-child (this relationship lays the foundation for our attachment style when we’re older), therapist-patient, partner-partner, supervisor-employee. I’m not saying this is not important in other relationships like teacher-student and friend-friend, but in these cases, there are often more options for people who can provide that secure base. <br /><br /></span></li><li><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>Care and deliberation are required as we raise the next generation</b>—all the way from small family units to bigger communities. These don’t just include providing a secure base and cultivating social intelligence from a young age, but also providing a space to learn and fail and recuperate, and taking extra care with young people in juvenile correctional facilities. Towards the end of Goleman’s book, I was struck by the sections where he spoke about youth who had committed crimes and been placed in these facilities, but whose integration back into society was handled with care and empathy, vs. youth who were not given that same level of care, and for whom staying out of trouble became much harder. </span></li></ol><p></p><p><br /></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5806732779530164754.post-47762443857050939622020-08-14T08:46:00.003+03:002022-06-17T09:57:03.423+03:00Lessons from 2020<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-aKxW7lf98V8/XzYkTU8K6aI/AAAAAAAAFoA/iDS8AcZxAQwlOPGnoLVjh1ZeEXAgomQcACLcBGAsYHQ/s1920/1.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1280" data-original-width="1920" height="267" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-aKxW7lf98V8/XzYkTU8K6aI/AAAAAAAAFoA/iDS8AcZxAQwlOPGnoLVjh1ZeEXAgomQcACLcBGAsYHQ/w400-h267/1.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">If you’re here, I’ll assume you’re already aware that 2020 has been quite a shit-show. It seems as though every day, one wakes up to crazier and crazier news, till the temptation to bury one’s head in the sand and hibernate is almost irresistible. I won’t debate how much of the craziness is due to unavoidable circumstance, but it’s definitely true that a lot of it is due to human beings’ inability to be kind, courteous, and unselfish (y’all know who I’m talking about). </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">Before I delve in, a caveat. The ability to take 2020 and learn something from it is definitely due to the privileges I’ve been afforded so far, and some of these lessons will not resonate with others for the same reason. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">Here’s what I know so far: </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">1.<span style="white-space: pre;"> </span><b>Life refuses prediction.</b> How many of us, when asked what we thought our 2020s would hold, would have been able to accurately predict the future? This craziness aside, I look back at my life and see a pattern where some of the best things that happened to me (best either at the time, or due to what they taught me) were things I couldn’t have planned for. And for someone who loves planning and being control, this isn’t easy to accept! </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">2.<span style="white-space: pre;"> </span><b>When people show you who they are… listen.</b> I’ve found that I tend to hold on to an idealistic sense of who the people in my life are, based on who they used to be, who I want them to be, or sometimes, even my own projections. However, I’m not the only one! I’ve seen my best friend do this recently too, and it’s easier to look in a mirror when you have external examples to reference. 2020 has been a perfect way to do a people test, if you will – sort of like if you’re on a first date at a restaurant, how does the other party treat the staff? </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">This year, human rights issues have been at the forefront. We’ve watched as the rights many take for granted – to live, to love, to exist, to be, to have control over our lives and our bodies – have been curtailed or infringed upon, either due to COVID-19, related responses, and worst of all, people believing they have the right to decide for others. <b>Pay very close attention to how those around you have interacted with, talked about, and responded to these issues. Pay very close attention to those around you who HAVEN’T interacted with, talked about, and responded to these issues.</b> Let go of your ideas of these people and see them without a biased lens. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">3.<span style="white-space: pre;"> </span><b>Trust your instincts.</b> This has shown up weirdly for me this year, in terms of the people I’ve chosen to spend time with and the opportunities I’ve chosen to pursue. I won’t – or can’t – give much more detail on this one, but there’s something I was exploring earlier this year. Around the time when I had the choice to dig deeper or pull away, my instincts FLARED up and I decided to pull away. I was still in two minds, though, until others reached out weeks after to confirm what I’d felt. I now look back and realise that the instincts I’ve had in the past, that I’ve sometimes felt guilty about, probably weren’t leading me the right way… and I should have just listened rather than try to rationalise. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">4.<span style="white-space: pre;"> </span><b>Be kind.</b> I’m not sure I had fully appreciated the value of kindness till this year. It was something that existed, that was missed when I didn’t see it, but maybe not something I dwelled on as much. However, this year, I’ve seen the value in kindness to self, to others, to the world we live in. I’ve been inspired by tales of kindness from various places, and I’ve come to prioritise this value as a filter for people and situations I choose to spend time and energy on. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">5.<span style="white-space: pre;"> </span>As long as you’ve done your best, there’s <b>power in surrendering to the outcome and the unknown</b>. There are some of you who’re reading this who’re probably cheering at this right now, but it’s a lesson that’s taken a while for me to absorb (and I won’t say I’m 100% there)! This probably goes back to my first point, but I’ve realised that a need for control paradoxically erases control – as soon as you’re in an unfamiliar situation, you flounder and feel more out of control than you ever did. If you learn to ride the flow and embrace the unknown – you’ll never truly be out of control. There’s a lot this year that’s happened that I didn’t necessarily plan for, but that I’ve accepted, and found myself happier/ more at peace because of it. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">There’s definitely more but this felt like a good stopping point for now. I’d love to hear from you – what has growth and learning looked like in 2020?</div><div><br /></div></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5806732779530164754.post-54492129458750934512019-09-30T10:24:00.001+03:002019-09-30T10:24:36.590+03:00Right Here<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Image by enriquelopezgarre from Pixabay</td></tr>
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<br />
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This post has been building up in my mind for some time, and I finally felt like I was in the right place to verbalise what I've been feeling.<br />
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Those of you know know me well know that I like to spend a decent amount of time on self-development, introspection, and reflection. One of the tools I've been using for this is <a href="http://futureme.org/" target="_blank">FutureMe</a> - simple enough concept, where you write yourself a letter (email) and can choose when you'd like to have it delivered to you. I've been writing letters to myself for years now, and I'm now reaching a point where I'm getting letters I wrote 5 years ago.<br />
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What a blessing to be able to get such a direct, (relatively) objective view into the past!<br />
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I got a letter a few months ago from 2014-me - and at that time, I was feeling professionally and personally lost. I won't go into details of what the letter said, but part of it was along the lines of '...and I'm sure that you're now exactly where you need to be.'<br />
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What.<br />
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WHAT.<br />
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Epiphany, because 2014-me was totally right. If 2014-me could see where I am today, she would've breathed a sigh of relief. If 2010-me could, she'd be ecstatic! The lesson was this - I am exactly where I need to be right now, and yes, things do go wrong from time-to-time and everyday isn't sunshine and rainbows, but if we look into the future, chances are whatever is stressing us out today won't even be worth blinking over then. Of course, there are things that have happened between then and now that I wish I could take back, people I wish I could get back, but part of the lesson is that I may not be able to control what happens to me, but <b>I can control how I choose to react to it</b>.<br />
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It was a lovely reminder to learn to really be present and grateful for <b>where I am now</b>, and not worry about <b>where I'm going to be later - </b>and thought that this may be a useful reminder for those of you who haven't heard this recently, because it was definitely useful for me!<br />
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<b>You are exactly where you need to be right now. If you look back at your past, it led you here for a reason, and there's no need to sweat the small stuff right now because if you look back in a few years - it won't matter all that much either.</b></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5806732779530164754.post-59004204206550530112019-06-06T10:00:00.000+03:002019-06-06T10:00:01.265+03:00Solve for Energy, not Time (part 2)<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Expounding on my last article, where I talked about optimising for being at my best energy, and some things I do to manage physical aspects of this, this one focuses on some tangible strategies to work on mental energy (but keep in mind - these two aren't fully separate and there are bound to be positive spillover effects, including regular renewal).<br />
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<b>Mental</b><br />
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<b><i>Mindfulness</i></b>: Inspired by the growing body of research, literature, and people who speak about their experiences, I’ve made it a goal to practice mindfulness (or another form of meditation) every single day this year. I may have missed a day or two in between, but I’m pretty proud of myself so far! Right now, I’m on a streak of almost 60 consecutive days.<br />
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Do I see value in this? Yes! Among other things, this has significantly helped my ability to focus, be present, work (and play!) efficiently, and get better at recognising and processing emotions. A part of this involves building a gratitude practice, and that's also helped me get better at understanding that happiness can be in the here and now and doesn't need to be on the other side of some imaginary finish line.<br />
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<b><i>Writing</i>: </b>There's something incredibly therapeutic, cathartic even, about putting pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard?) and just WRITING. Whether this means blog posts, or other pieces designed with one audience member in mind (me), I've found that this helps me to process and get very real about my experiences, what affects me in the present, as well as what I'm carrying from the past and anticipating about the future.<br />
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<b><i>Reading</i>: </b>One of the greatest fears of my life is that one day, I may be faced with the same amount of knowledge and wisdom that's available to me today - but I won't be able to take it in. Reading, for me, is a way of exploring worlds and ideas beyond myself, of learning, of ensuring that my mind doesn't stagnate.<br />
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Understanding psychology is something I'm personally passionate about, and it's amazing how much you can learn about human psychology from reading fiction (then again - maybe not. These books <i>were </i>written by humans, after all).<br />
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<b>Recommended reading</b><br />
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Following on from the above, some of the reading I've been doing over the past year has been incredibly helpful in allowing me to delve into and practice these topics further. Some recommendations:<br />
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Why We Sleep, Matthew Walker<br /><br />Daring Greatly, Brene Brown<br /><br />The Power of Full Engagement, Jim Loehr and Tony Schwartz<br /><br />The Things You Can Only See When You Slow Down, Haemin Sunim<br /><br />When the Body Says No: The Cost of Hidden Stress, Gabor Maté<br /><br />The Science of Meditation, Daniel Goleman and Richard Davidson<br /></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5806732779530164754.post-68770439941583544722019-06-03T10:00:00.000+03:002019-07-23T10:55:15.796+03:00Solve for Energy, not Time (part 1) <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Over the past year and a bit, I've had a bit of a realisation around what's important to prioritise. This has been a lesson that's been building up over time, 'helped' by various events in my life including my <a href="https://meandmine-r.blogspot.com/2017/07/lets-talk-about-mental-health.html" target="_blank">experience with mental health</a>, the recent <a href="https://meandmine-r.blogspot.com/2018/10/grief-and-i.html" target="_blank">loss of a loved one</a>, the observation of some of the healthy, happy and thriving older people in my life and what they had in common, and of course, my <a href="https://meandmine-r.blogspot.com/2019/01/12-reads-of-2018.html" target="_blank">love of reading</a>.<br />
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I think the first time I was really able to articulate this idea of solving for energy, not time, was when I did this <a href="https://www.mckinsey.com/careers/meet-our-people/careers-blog/roshni?kui=CsbaHqa-qGngOwCym_Q41w" target="_blank">quick interview</a> for the McKinsey website. And since then, I'd call myself a passionate and vocal advocate of this idea.<br />
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The basic premise is this - a lot of time, we focus on how to <b>manage our time</b> to be able to dedicate this to the right activities. However, we should instead be focusing on how to be at our <b>best energy</b>, so that we can bring our best selves to whatever we do, personal or professional. This latter strategy has the benefit of not only being useful in the short run, but also in the long run.<br />
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I think we all derive our energy from different sources - and I'd encourage you to explore what these are - but there are some that are common and applicable to all, no matter who you are, like sleep, healthy eating, and regular physical activity.<br />
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I'll quickly talk through some of the things I make sure to make time for in order to optimise my short- and long-term energy - these fall under two main buckets: <b>physical and mental</b>.<br />
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<b>Physical</b><br />
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<b><i>Sleep</i></b>: I recently read Matthew Walker's <i>Why We Sleep, </i>and it was a terrifying wake-up call (heh) to find out what the detrimental effects (again, short and long term) were of me NOT having healthy sleep habits!<br />
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Some quick, (hopefully) scary facts: 1) Sleep deprivation can lead to higher mortality, risk of cancer, heart disease, weight gain, rate of infection, Alzheimer's, irritability, inflammation, lower productivity, lower rational decision making and memory recall, lower emotional control, and lower immune system function; 2) Driving while sleepy can be worse than driving while drunk - while drunk, your response is <b>delayed </b>but while sleepy, if you have a 'microsleep', you may not react at all (driving after having slept less than 4 hours can increase risk of crashing by 11.5x); 3) Sleep can help improve long-term factual recall and 'muscle memory'; 4) Less than 1% of the population is able to survive on six hours of sleep and show minimal impairment; and 5) Less sleep causes immediate effects on productivity, as immediate as the very next day. Need I say more? You should DEFINITELY read the book.<br />
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Since reading it, I make it a point to start winding down for bed around 10 pm every weekday – this means putting down all electronic devices, reading a few chapters, maybe meditating a bit – to allow myself to get to sleep by 11. I've also tried to implement some of the other healthy sleep habits that Walker recommends.<br />
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<b><i>Physical activity</i></b>: I learnt this lesson a long time ago that if I miss a few days of physical exercise, I notice a marked difference in my well being – not just physical, but mental too. Since then, I’ve made it a goal to get some activity in every single day. If I can’t manage a full workout, then I need to get in at least 10 minutes of activity, even if it’s just a walk. Done is better than perfect – a ten minute walk I did do is better than a 60 minute workout that I missed, and again, science talks about the importance of not just doing regular physical exercise but also remaining physically active (going to the gym everyday doesn't help if I keep sitting the rest of the day without any activity at all).<br />
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My 90-year-old granddad has, for as long as I've known him, worked out every morning (and what this means has changed over the years), as well as walked every afternoon (intensity may have changed but not frequency). It's admirable to see how fit and relatively independent he is at this age - this proof was enough for me!<br />
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<b><i>Nutrition</i></b>: Still something I'm working to get right, so I won't say much here, but it's important to mention because it IS important.<br />
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<i style="font-weight: bold;">Rest</i>: I see this as a little different from sleep, although it may include sleep. Rest can mean recovery. It can mean making the time for short breaks between work. It can mean going for a quick walk to energise yourself. It could mean taking a sabbatical. I put this at the end because it can be a very 'mental' thing too. Basically, I've found that sprints vs. marathon allows me to be more productive, and that rest contributes to this productivity and efficiency (and yes, before you ask, this is also supported by science).<br />
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Keep an eye out for part 2, where I expound on the Mental aspects I referenced. </div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5806732779530164754.post-73364794517821200492019-05-23T09:41:00.001+03:002019-05-26T15:22:48.294+03:00Onwards: Interview with Amandla Ooko-Ombaka (part 2)<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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If you haven't yet checked out part 1 of this interview - find it <a href="https://www.kenyannomad.com/2019/05/amandla-1.html" target="_blank">here</a>!<br />
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I’ve always been impressed by Amandla’s <b>boundless energy</b> – in the face of adversity when most of us would shy away, she boldly looks a problem in the face and says ‘try me’.<br />
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Amandla is a young Kenyan woman who describes herself as having ‘a public sector heart, a private sector mind, and a passion for getting things done.’ She is interested in spending her most productive years doing her part to help Kenya become the thriving democracy her father envisioned, and being a fierce and loyal supporter of all her friends who’re trying to change the world. If she were to choose three words to describe herself they would be: <b>caring, hardworking AF, and persistent</b>. <br />
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She also confesses that she has an unhealthy obsession with gummy bears, and her happy place is Watamu on the Kenyan coast – she just needs coconut water, a book, and the sound of the ocean waves to be at peace. <br />
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She believes that in life, she has to be her own biggest cheerleader and hype herself up – hence the boundless energy! If she won’t do it – who else will? As she puts it: <br />
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“There are too many enemies of progress in life for me to be in my own way. Also, more practically, if going to get out of bed at all (and some days I just stay in bed and phone in because I’m human), I better put my best high-heeled foot forward and SLAY.” </blockquote>
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Among some of Amandla’s innumerable successes, two stand out. The first was her siblings’ graduation. She made them both promises that she would do her absolute best to make sure they had access to all the opportunities they would have had to complete their college educations had their parents been alive. Watching both of them graduate with honours (and as mini-celebrities) from school has easily been the proudest moment of her life!<br />
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The second happened more recently – the agriculture strategy she led has formally moved forward for implementation. Her team and her gave everything to the project, and the potential for it to impact millions of farmers and >25% of the GDP of the country is humbling. As she puts it, “it’s not a slam dunk yet because the proof is in implementation, but we’ve supported this process as far as we can without being in government. Maybe it’s a sign that I should be in government 🤣"<br />
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Amandla is a role model and inspiration to many, so it was only natural that I ask who hers have been! She listed a few who, as she put it, serve inspiration for breakfast: <br />
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<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li>My grandma is the real OG. Her steadfastness, shade throwing, and zero tolerance for anything but our best has been a rock for our family and the many women and men she gave life to</li>
<li>My mom, if I can be half the woman she was...I’m done. Also, I was born 5 days after her wedding in her 30s, and she went back to work two months after. She constantly showed us that it was possible to have what you prioritised in life</li>
<li>My younger sister who takes self-care, wellness and treating her body and mind with such kindness. She also wakes up like clockwork everyday around 5am to work out without an alarm, and is in the office by 7am. #Lifegoals</li>
<li>The Council of Stateswomen...they are the real squad. And thriving right now in our 30s as a collective. I love these women</li>
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Reflecting a bit on being a role model and the learnings that emerged, Amandla shared the following, and commented that living her life the best way she knows how can be an example to anyone at all is all the more reason to keep grabbing life by the horns:<br />
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<li> Listen and ask good questions - I never try to make decisions or pretend to know what is best for anyone else. I can only offer my relevant lived experience and a sound board for folks to work things out.</li>
<li>Women in particular that I try and mentor are much harder on themselves than the guys in general, and are less willing to take a big bet on themselves. Some of the jobs I see guys apply for (one particularly intrepid young Lagosian man I met wanted to apply directly to be a Partner at McKinsey from undergrad - usually a position one is qualified for about 6 years after graduate school)... I want all my ladies out there to have even half the boldness. We are often qualified many times over... be your own best cheerleader / hype woman.</li>
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<span style="color: red; font-family: "calibri"; font-size: small;"><span lang="EN-ZA" style="color: red; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span></span><b>The 4 most important principles Amandla believes a leader should live by: </b></div>
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<li><b>Integrity and a firm moral code:</b> I need to be able to level up with myself every day and be accountable to the team I am serving. One of my professors, Clay Christensen, always says it is easier to stick to your values 100% of the time than 98% of the time. And it’s so true... how often have you done one small thing and told yourself only this once, and then all of a sudden you can’t remember the last time you didn’t eat a packet of gummy bears a day? </li>
<li><b>Authenticity</b>: Leadership is not a role or title I can put on and take off when it suits me. It is something I have to practice and live by every day, it’s the only way to get better. </li>
<li><b>Servant leadership:</b> My father epitomised this for me, particularly in public service. It’s not about me. It’s about the people I am serving and the work that has to be done. </li>
<li><b>Empathy</b>: Human beings are complex. Everyone comes to work or school or the grocery store with their own burdens to bear. If I can’t connect on some fundamental level with each person I interact with, how can I do service to the challenges that keep them awake at night? My sister likes to joke that she wishes she could just deal with soil samples all day, they don’t talk back 🤣. But even then, to be a leader in her environmental research she has to connect with and see things from the perspective of the earth, literally</li>
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The best advice Amandla’s ever been given is 1) Ask for forgiveness, not permission. Just do it if you can stand by your decision, and the rest will follow and 2) Have a voice, don’t be a brand. <br />
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Amandla plans everything to a T so she can orient herself in ‘this crazy thing called life’, but does mention that some of the most memorable and fun experiences of her life were unplanned (note to self!):<br />
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“Moving to Lagos for work when I was 23 without having visited West Africa before, the most magical and spontaneous 10 hr date I’ve ever been on with a very good looking man I dated for a while, randomly entering a dance competition on Saint Patrick’s day in Addis Ababa (even more random) and winning my favourite piece of art ever...”</blockquote>
<b>Let’s just say Amandla got a sudden million dollars, hers to do with as she pleases, no questions asked. What would be the top 3 to 5 things she would prioritise and why?</b><br />
<ol style="text-align: left;">
<li>Immediately put half of it into an investment vehicle so it keeps working for me </li>
<li>Pay off any big debts of the family members and friends who took us into their homes when our parents died, and shared what they had </li>
<li>Take my extended family on an awesome vacation to Watamu </li>
<li>Revive the spirit of the Education Trust that my mother tried to start. It doesn’t have to be my own organization or anything. Perhaps a scholarship at Kenya High School in her name to educate more female scientists and doctors from high school to grad school, and some sort of fellowship in my fathers name for young Kenyans who want to run for office and need mentorship, coaching, and strategic advice on running campaigns </li>
<li>All the rest I’d donate to the Katiba Institute, a non-profit to help implement our constitution and empower all Kenyans to know their constitutional rights</li>
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<b>If she was invited to give a TED talk, what would it be about? </b>I’d take the TED-style talk I gave in grad school to the next level… <i>“Yes, African: Breaking through mental barriers to Africa development”.</i><i style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </i><br />
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While no single narrative defines the continent, countries in Africa share similar barriers to reaching our visions of prosperity. I’ split these barriers into two broad categories – hardware and software. Hardware is as all the ‘technical’ stuff that we know how to address e.g., utilities. More than 60% of Sub-Saharan Africans lack access to electricity. The grossly simplified answer to this challenge is to build more power plants. <br />
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Software is a more nuanced concept. It is an attitude, a state of heart and mind. Software is the attitude that led Kenyan bankers to dream and launch M-Akiba, the world’s first e-Treasury bill that allows ordinary citizens to purchase government bonds directly from their mobile phones, imagine that… <br />
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You have to wait for the TED talk to get all the goodies, but I used the talk to lay out 3 ways to break through these “software” barriers…</div>
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<b>What are the top 3 books she recommends to others? </b></div>
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<li>Homegoing by Yaa Gyasi: heart-breaking, a fiction novel, but an incredible call to action to know where we come from </li>
<li>The Diving Bell and the Butterfly by Jean-Dominique Bauby: he wrote this entire book by blinking one letter at a time </li>
<li>Immunity to Change by Robert Kegan: it’s holding up a mirror to why we continue to make decisions not in our best interests. Essential reading for leading teams</li>
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Amandla believes her biggest source of strength comes from her belief in God – many events in her life could have had wildly different outcomes, and she believes that there definitely is a higher power looking out for her. She struggles with institutionalised religion a lot because of how it is so often corrupted by people to do pure evil (from her own experience in intolerant Christian Churches, Nadia Murad’s experience as a Yazidi with extremist Islam). But her current Pastor Pete Odera (see a snippet of an old interview she did with him here during one of her summer internships: <a href="https://urldefense.proofpoint.com/v2/url?u=https-3A__vimeo.com_133440516&d=DwMFaQ&c=yIH1_-b1hO27QV_BdDph9suDL0Jq0WcgndLmIuQXoms&r=IKIDr9BEKbZOutSE6p9f069BrVItqrUSaRuFctWR-5o&m=j3RfDrh0ai53EaeothAJC-qZOm4WnfeNb2AgAAV-G3s&s=gVJX4Y7CyYpf73uv5sbmZJ_cGDdWSyUJ-WX-0zr_6k8&e=">https://vimeo.com/133440516</a>) is teaching her to question and believe at the same time. <br />
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Also, it helps just knowing that most things in life are surmountable, as long as you’re alive. Amandla has an incredible family and group of friends who’ve lived through a lot together.</div>
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<b>Does Amandla have any success rituals she swears by? </b><br />
Getting really razor focused, and being honest with myself - if I really prepped for it (did all the studying, got in all my long runs while training for my marathon...), I trust that the practice will kick in. If I haven’t put in the work, I hope for luck but level set my expectations. <br />
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Depending on the time of day and how much time I have before the moment, I’ll go for a run, meditate, or blast Beyoncé’s Formation and Flawless on repeat.</div>
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<b>If she could have a dinner party and invite any three people, dead or alive, who would they be? </b></div>
Mom, Dad and my Aunt Barb who I hope are all really proud of the young adults that my siblings and I have become. It would be a dinner full of love, hugs and real talk <br />
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5806732779530164754.post-40133479062604344712019-05-20T09:15:00.000+03:002019-05-20T09:15:02.568+03:00Onwards: Interview with Amandla Ooko-Ombaka (part 1)<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Amandla Ooko-Ombaka. Where do I start? Those who know her know that she’s a force of nature, a whirlwind of energy and inspiration, and an amazing colleague. I love being surrounded by amazing women at work who’re intelligent and hardworking, and Amandla is certainly one of those. Is it any wonder that I decided an interview with her HAD to be done? Amandla, to me, truly embodies the values of resilience, persistence, and hard-work. After reading this, I hope you’ll see why!<br />
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When speaking about her family and growing up, Amandla uses the words ‘full of laughter, travel, SO MANY COUSINS (40 first cousins!), and lots of activities’.<br />
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The laughter and travel she attributes to her dad, who was the ‘most serious jester’. Growing up a daddy’s girl, she witnessed his seriousness at work, as an MP in Kenya’s first multiparty election in the nineties – she’d drive upcountry with him quite often while he was campaigning. <br />
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By day, however, he was a lawyer willing to take on the ruling party of the day. Case in point? He represented Nobel Laureate Wangari Maathai in her landmark case against Kenya Times Media Trust, and the Ominde clan in the Ouko murder trial. He faced a number of attempts on his life in his line of work, upto and including his final big project – co-leading the team that wrote the current Kenyan constitution. However, to his credit, he managed to prevent these stresses from invading his home environment, coming home, throwing his kids on his back and belting out an old school Luo rhyme about a donkey reaching Yala, tickling them till they cried. <br />
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The cousins and activities she attribute to her mum who ‘didn’t play’ – according to her, family and excellence (including applying yourself fully to everything you tried) were non-negotiable. Amandla remembers many a Saturday afternoon at her grandma’s house playing around with her cousins – but only after cleaning the house in the morning, hopping on a matatu to town for her dance classes, and finishing her math homework!<br />
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For the first few years of their childhoods (Amandla has a younger sister and brother), their mum was the head of the OBGYN department at Kenyatta National Hospital. If Amandla wanted to go to dance class while mum was at work – well, she found her own way there. Her mum was very clear, she and her husband had a driver, Amandla did not 😉<br />
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Her parents were very supportive. There were no expectations of their kids having to follow in their professional footsteps. Amandla dropped Biology after standard 8 – so that ruled out medicine. She fell in love with Physics and Mathematics in high school – so that ruled out law. However, she’s clear on the fact that she still wants to run for office one day like her dad (and those of us who know her know she’d be great at it!) – she remembers writing an essay in standard 2 saying that she wanted to be the President of Kenya. True to their expectations, her parents would often remind her of this audacious (or so she says…) dream by asking her <b>what she was doing to prepare</b> – that too, was a job!<br />
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Baby Amandla started off at Madari Kindergarten (I’m an alumna too!!), before becoming a proud Msongari girl then heading to Brookhouse for her O-levels. She left Kenya at 15 for boarding school in the UK to do IB. She’s always been a self-professed nerd – she latched onto Maths in high school, which turned into Economics and Mathematics at Yale University for her undergrad, which then led to Development Economics and an MBA at Harvard for grad school (note to young readers out there: Maths is good! And not something to be afraid of.). <br />
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Amandla describes her Yale experience as life-changing. Her dad passed away just before she started IB and her mum just before she applied to college. Many people told her she should move home after IB and reset her expectations – after all, college abroad was too expensive. She was terrified about the application process itself; her mum had read and edited every important essay she’d ever written so far – how was she going to apply without her? How was she going to even afford college? What about her two younger siblings? Their parents had always said that their education was the only thing that couldn’t be taken away from them – <b>what sort of example would she be setting for her siblings if she compromised then</b>?<br />
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And so, she didn’t. Going to college so far away from home provided a hard shot of realism for Amandla. It was the first time she truly struggled at school; her freshman year grades needed an academic intervention. She was grieving, and not dealing with it very well. On top of that, it was very clear that there was always someone more (...insert word here!) than her in her classes. <br />
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To compound issues, while she was on full academic financial aid, her room and board were taxed. She lived off Ramen noodles for weeks at a time and volunteered for all kinds of ‘free Psychology studies’ to make ends meet – in between her two on-campus jobs. <br />
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Amandla was looking for full-time employment when the 2008 financial crisis hit; all of a sudden, the jobs that she had been setting up for herself since freshman year that would pay her enough to help her siblings through college evaporated. Companies courting her to join investment banks couldn’t guarantee visas for her to stay after school.<br />
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At this point, Amandla leaned hard into the incredible support network of her college friends – a particular group of three other African women she met at Yale, who call themselves the ‘Council of Stateswomen’ – and applied for every single scholarship and fellowship opportunity available. She stayed in the computer lab for four days straight once because her laptop broke and she couldn’t afford to fix it before applications were due (it was much cheaper to fix in a town four hours away by bus – but she didn’t have the fare or the eight hours to spend not working on applications). <br />
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Luckily, everything worked out at the end. When looking back at 21-year old Amandla, she is incredibly proud of the <b>strong and resourceful woman</b> that Yale helped her become. She’s also extremely grateful for the eye-opening experiences it provided. As part of a Yale delegation, she was an election monitor for the 2007 Kenyan elections. They were in Kibera when Raila Odinga arrived with Fred Gumo and couldn’t find his name on the voters’ register… a rock hit the window above her head soon after this news spread – but she tells us that’s a story for another day. She knows many Kenyans smarter and harder working than her, who similarly lost their parents while quite young, but did not have access to the opportunities that Yale afforded her. <br />
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Currently, Amandla is an Engagement Manager at McKinsey’s Nairobi office, affiliated with the Agriculture and Food practices – a role she simultaneously describes as the ‘most exhilarating and stressful job’ she’s ever had. Her job is to hold the complex spiderweb of a project together, and make sure that her team delivers the best answer possible for some of the most complex problems faced by their clients.<br />
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This team includes the 3-4 analysts and associates she directly coaches and supervises, 2-3 partners who provide deep expertise, and countless other incredible McKinsey gurus in research, analytics, visual graphics, etc., that help deliver for clients.<br />
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Recent problems she’s worked on include 1) writing a national agriculture strategy for an African government and 2) helping a global food manufacturer figure out how to triple their revenues in Africa and further localise their business model.<br />
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5806732779530164754.post-77040758907770132072019-04-15T10:00:00.000+03:002019-04-15T17:47:30.384+03:00Nick Ndeda: The Person behind the Persona (part 2)<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span lang="EN-US">I hope you all enjoyed getting to know more about our favourite radio personality in my <a href="http://www.kenyannomad.com/2019/04/nick-ndeda-part-1.html" target="_blank">previous post</a>. <o:p></o:p></span>Without further ado, here’s the next part of this!</div>
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When asked who Nick Ndeda is, his answer was very simple - an artist. Over the many years that I listened to his show, I always admired the fact that he’s always had great rapport with and empathy for your listeners, and had to ask where this came from:</div>
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Thank you. I think it stems from the fact that I love listening to people. I like hearing how they articulate/express themselves (something I also selfishly use for my acting) and also, given the fact that I am the one who controls the show and thus have unlimited airtime (so to speak), I realise the importance of gravity of a listener getting some time to shine.</blockquote>
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Nick attributes his key successes (professional and otherwise) to discipline. </div>
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Discipline. It’s got very little to do with talent. We are not special as professionals, it is what we do that is special. So I worked damn hard preparing and practicing, so that when it’s time to go on air/stage/set it looks easy. It’s all about <b>discipline</b>. And <b>practice</b>. That’s what makes Cristiano Ronaldo Cristiano Ronaldo you know!!</blockquote>
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In terms of role models, in life, Nick looks to his parents and siblings due to their belief in being good people, doing good to others, and always putting in 100% in whatever you do. <br />
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Career wise, Nick thinks Ryan Seacrest is very good at radio and TV presenting. Vis-à-vis acting; Leonardo DiCaprio, Denzel Washington, Audrey Hepburn, Cate Blanchett, Kate Winslet, Hlomla Dandala, Moshidi Motshegwa, Emily Watson… he could go on and on! <br />
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Speaking of role models… Nick has been one to many over the years. Reflecting on this, he observes “that everyone is afraid of their dreams and that’s ok. I get the reason why. It could all blow up in your face and you end up looking like an idiot. Embarrassment is up there next to crucifixion when it comes to things we as humans fear I’d like to think. So, I always try my best to show that <b>the risk is worth it</b>. It may not go as planned (as life always seems to be) but it’s worth giving a shot.”</div>
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Journeys always come with surprises, and when asked about his, Nick remarks that he didn’t expect to be on radio for so long, much less end up assisting in production and other spheres such as presenter training! In his words, “However, to see Mwalimu Rachel (NRG Radio), Ciru Muriuki (BBC) and Amina Abdi Rabar (NTV/Capital FM) shining as bright as they do, then that’s great pat on the back for me!”<br />
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Emceeing and voice over work were also things he had never envisioned doing, but that he now loves, in Also, emceeing and voice over work was stuff I had never envisioned doing but I do it now and love it. He also mentioned writing movie and theatre scripts as pleasant surprise additions to his CV. </div>
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<b>What are the three most important principles Nick believes a leader should live by? </b><br />
Being an example <br />
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Being disciplined <br />
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Correcting by not condemning<br />
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<b>Three words Nick would choose to describe himself </b><br />
Artsy. Disciplined. Brilliant.<br />
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<b>What’s the best advice someone ever gave Nick? </b><br />
“If it ain’t fun, run!” <br />
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My former director Neil Schell from the TV series “Higher Learning” once told me this on set and I have never forgotten this gem. Real talk!<br />
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<b>Let’s just say Nick got a sudden million dollars, his to do with as he pleases, no questions asked. What would be the top three to five things he would prioritise, and why? </b><br />
1. Build a HUGE house because I need the space for my cats, future dogs, future birds, fish and turtle <br />
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2. Build a house for my parents and my wife’s parents because parents! <br />
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3. A pair of shoes for every day of the month (at least 50 pairs) <br />
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4. Trips to islands because I love me a beach <br />
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5. The rest of it I would put into making movies because Kenyan movies are always lacking in the budget department<br />
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<b>If Nick was invited to give a TED talk, what would it be about? </b><br />
It would be called “<b>Do what the fuck you want, as long as it's legal</b>”, and it would be about listening to your inner voice. It’s never wrong and when you <b>calm the noise outside and listen keenly </b>- all the answers are there. Thank you for coming to my TED talk! <br />
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<b>What are the top three books Nick recommends to others? </b><br />
1. The Power of Your Subconscious Mind by Joseph Murphy <br />
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2. The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle <br />
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3. Needful Things by Stephen King<br />
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<b>What is Nick’s biggest source of strength? </b><br />
Belief in myself. If I can <b>see myself do it in my mind</b>, then I can execute it perfectly in the “real world”.<br />
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<b> Does he have any success rituals he swears by? </b><br />
Meditation <br />
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Affirmations <br />
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Writing down goals for the day each morning <br />
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Giving myself pep talks! <br />
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<b>If you could have a dinner party and invite any three people, dead or alive, who would they be? </b><br />
Marilyn Monroe <br />
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Kanye West <br />
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Bob Marley<br />
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5806732779530164754.post-66207816044989366392019-04-11T10:00:00.000+03:002019-04-11T13:25:34.461+03:00Nick Ndeda: The Person behind the Persona (part 1)<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
For those of you who aren’t familiar with Nick Ndeda, I should give some background. Nick was a presenter on my favourite radio channel, X FM, and I’m a huge fan. His morning show coincided nicely with my morning commute to work for many years, and I absolutely loved listening! He combined some great music with a genuine connection to and empathy for his audience – many a morning found me venting to his breakfast show WhatsApp about traffic (often) and humanity (sometimes). <br />
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Unfortunately, circumstances meant that Nick had to leave his morning show to move to an afternoon show within the same radio network (you’d better believe this was a huge shock and disappointment to all his loyal fans!) I decided to take the opportunity to ask for an interview – <b>and I definitely fangirled HARD when he said yes</b>!<br />
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<b>Nick’s early background </b><br />
Nick grew up in a small nuclear family of three brothers and their parents. He describes his eldest brother Jeremy as being the brightest academically, along with being a school captain, leading to a lot of “Why can’t you be more like your brother Jeremy?” as he grew up. <br />
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His second-born brother, Innocent, is a whizz at anything mechanical or computer-oriented – as a result of which, he became the go-to kid for fixing anything electrical. Nick observes that his parents were always stunned by Innocent’s skillset – and rightfully so! He went on to become one of the youngest systems administrators for a huge bank when he was just 28. <br />
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Nick, being the last born out of three (much like myself!), found himself with perfect examples to sculpt his aspirations. Their greatest link as brothers, though, ended up being the fact that they all had artistic inclinations. As Nick says, “Jeremy was a dope rapper and writer – he went on to become a really cool radio presenter till the day he died; Innocent can draw, paint, and rap; and I loved acting and generally performing in front of an audience (despite my obviously shy demeanor as a child!).” <br />
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Their parents encouraged all of them to follow what they loved, which is how Nick ended up pursuing a career as an actor before radio came calling.</div>
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<b><br />Nick’s (formal) education </b><br />
After finishing high school, Nick wanted to get into acting, and his parents agreed to give him a year to go after his dreams – with one caveat. If he was unable to find work as an actor (after all, he was only 19 and in Kenya), he would join university. He spent that entire year going for auditions and failing every single one. <br />
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Finally, his year off came to an end, and time came to apply for admission. Coincidentally, on the same day he submitted his admission forms, he auditioned for a play and won the part. <br />
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After that first play, directors and fellow actors began recommending him and his acting career begin to take off. <br />
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He did still go to uni though, where he pursued a double major in Journalism and Psychology and minored in Spanish and Industrial Psychology (phew!!)! After all… the forms had been filled, and the admission fee paid! <br />
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When I asked Nick how (or even if) his education prepared him for the real world, Nick said: </div>
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At the beginning of my third year on campus, my eldest brother Jeremy, asked me to accompany him for a radio presenter audition. While there, I was convinced to try it out myself and I got the job! Working on radio whilst learning about it in theory in class worked to my advantage. I was able to have “work experience” as I learnt and this helped me wash away the BS that can sometimes cloud your mind when you are only confined to books, libraries and lecturers when it comes to your opinion of the workforce as well as the workforce environment.</blockquote>
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<b>Nick’s work background </b><br />
As far as radio is concerned, Nick started at Homeboyz Radio in 2007 where he was the stand-in Breakfast Show host, as well as host for a daily interview-oriented show about youth empowerment. After leaving Homeboyz, Nick joined Hot 96 in 2010, where he not only became the youngest breakfast show presenter EVER in Kenya (he was 25!), but he was also the Deputy Programmes Controller (yes, at 25!). <br />
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He took a short break from radio in late 2011 to late 2012, in order to do some acting out of the country, and then moved to XFM in 2012 where he hosted the breakfast show for 7 years until the station was closed in early 2019 (moment of silence, please). <br />
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In acting, Nick has had the honour of acting in over 50 plays since his stage debut back in 2005. He has played supporting roles in huge TV shows like ‘Jacob’s Cross’ (M Net), a popular South African series in 2012. He played a lead role in a local TV series, ‘Higher Learning’ (NTV) in 2010, a lead role in the MTV series ‘Shuga’ in 2012, and most recently, played the lead role in the critically acclaimed movie ’18 Hours’, which won best movie in Africa last year (!!!) at the Africa Magic Viewers Choice Awards. <br />
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His latest venture is playing a supporting role in the popular telenovela ‘Selina’ (Maisha Magic East). <br />
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Currently, Nick is an afternoon drive-time show host on Kiss 100 FM. He got there because they closed the station he was at, but the station’s parent company (Radio Africa Group) decided to ship his talents to another one of their stations (I hear fans breathing a collective sigh of relief). <br />
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Acting wise, all Nick told me that he’s looking forward to his next project (contracts don’t allow him to say much, much to our dismay!) <br />
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I asked Nick about what roles he previously played that he enjoyed. <br />
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1) On radio, hosting XBRKFST on XFM was a dream come true because I always wanted to work in that station and when you dream hard enough, and keep the faith, it always manifests. <br />
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2) On stage, I absolutely loved playing the role of “Henry” in a play called “Freefall” It was a tough character to muster, and the physical transformation made me love it even more. I had to put on a shave that made me look 10 years older and adapting mannerisms that were so unlike me in person. I mean, isn’t that what makes acting awesome?! <br />
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3) On screen, it has to be the role of “Angelo” on MTV Shuga. I got to show off my rapping skills (yeah, I rap too just like my brothers, because we listened to a lot of great hip hop growing up). <br />
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We’re not quite done yet! Stay tuned for part 2 where we’ll get to know Nick a little better. <br />
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5806732779530164754.post-48480355210441739002019-01-07T10:00:00.000+03:002019-01-07T10:00:06.802+03:0012 Reads of 2018<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I'm a voracious reader and as I've grown, this has meant more and more nonfiction work. I had a goal of reading 12 nonfiction books over 2018, and I'm happy to say that I succeeded. (I won't even count the fiction I read over the year, because it was A LOT).<div>
<br />Here are the 12 that made my 2018 list in no particular order:</div>
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1) <b>Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance </b>by Angela Duckworth</div>
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Duckworth is a psychologist (and McKinsey alumna!) who takes us on a journey of exploration of the qualities that lead to success and achievement. She covers in detail 'grit', that secret ingredient that's not really luck or talent, but a combination of passion and resilience. </div>
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Recommended? Yes, I'd give this an 8/10. You'd also enjoy this if you're a parent.</div>
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2) <b>Daring Greatly: How the Courage to be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent and Lead</b> by Brené<span style="color: #6a6a6a; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span style="background-color: white;"><b> </b></span></span>Brown</div>
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“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while <b>daring greatly</b>, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.” (Theodore Roosevelt)</blockquote>
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If you haven't yet already, I'd recommend watching Brown's sensational <a href="https://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability?language=en" target="_blank">TED talk</a>. I love what she spoke, and this is what led me to buy the book. I'm not exaggerating when I say it was truly a game changer for me - I'd love to give copies to lots of people I know! We live in a culture where vulnerability has traditionally been seen as a weakness, but Brown presents a powerful case for why it actually is a strength.</div>
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Recommended? YES. 10/10. Go buy it right now. Buy a few copies. Give them to those you know. </div>
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3) <b>The Ten Types of Human</b> by Dexter Dias</div>
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Oh. My. Goodness. Y'all, this book made me think and ponder and marvel and tremble. It's also been a while since I had to sit down with a dictionary as I read, and this book definitely required that. Dias does a marvellous job of tying in various anecdotes, research and his own personal experiences to present the ten archetypes of - as he says - who we are and who we can be. These include:</div>
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-The Perceiver of Pain</div>
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-The Ostraciser</div>
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-The Tamer of Terror</div>
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-The Beholder</div>
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-The Aggressor</div>
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-The Tribalist</div>
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-The Nurturer</div>
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-The Romancer</div>
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-The Rescuer</div>
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-The Kinsman</div>
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This book will scare you as it dives down to the depths of the worst we can be, but also comfort you as it shows you the flipside of these archetypes. This book was a good ~750 pages but I was so absorbed that I finished it in a few days. </div>
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<br />Recommended? Yes! 8.5/10. It's not an easy read, and that will dissuade many, but I think the messages are worth hearing. </div>
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4) <b>The Things You Can Only See When You Slow Down</b>, by Haemin Sunim</div>
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You're probably expecting something hokey here right? Get past that, and give this a chance, I think you'll be easily surprised. This book is full of easily digestible words of timeless wisdom that you can return back to time and again, meditate upon, and share with those around you. </div>
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Recommended? Yes! 9/10. Keep it by your bedside and come back to it.</div>
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5) <b>The Power of Full Engagement</b> by Jim Loehr and Tony Schwartz</div>
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I've long been a believer that you should solve for energy, not time, to bring (and get) the best of yourself to the different dimensions of your life, including family, friends, and work. </div>
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This book does a great job of expounding on that, as well as giving practical tips (e.g., getting enough sleep, regular workouts), for doing just that.</div>
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<br />Recommended? Yes! 9/10. I'd also recommend reading this book with a highlighter and making notes if you'd like. </div>
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<br /></div>
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6) <b>Fierce Fairytales & Other Stories to Stir Your Soul</b> by Nikita Gill </div>
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<br />I loved the concept and thinking behind this book! However, there were definitely some stories I enjoyed more than others. I would gift this to younger friends and family because I think that's the exact right age to read this. </div>
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<br />Recommended? Yes! 7/10. I'd recommend buying a copy, reading it yourself first, and then reading it to younger family members.</div>
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<div>
7) <b>milk and honey</b> by rupi kaur</div>
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and</div>
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8) <b>the sun and her flowers</b> by rupi kaur</div>
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<blockquote class="tr_bq">
you tell me to quiet down<br /> cause my opinions make me less beautiful<br /> but i was not made with a fire in my belly<br /> so i could be put out<br /> i was not made with a lightness on my tongue<br /> so i could be easy to swallow<br /> i was made heavy<br /> half blade and half silk<br /> difficult to forget and not easy<br /> for the mind to follow<br />-rupi kaur, milk and honey</blockquote>
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I don't really read poetry that much, and always thought this was something to be mulled over. However, I devoured these two books in October and have already returned to them and finished them a second time. As a Punjabi woman in this time and age, kaur's work was especially relatable for me. Give it a try.</div>
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Recommended? Yes! 9/10 for the first and 8/10 for the second.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div>
9) <b>Start With Why</b> by Simon Sinek</div>
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Another book I was led to by a <a href="https://www.ted.com/talks/simon_sinek_how_great_leaders_inspire_action" target="_blank">TED talk</a>, Sinek's book's premise is that it's more important to solve for your 'Why', and then your 'How', and then your 'What'. He goes on to give examples of organisations and people who've lived and worked this way, and provides compelling evidence for why (heh) this works.</div>
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<br /></div>
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Recommended? Yes! 8/10.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div>
10) <b>Tools of Titans</b> by Tim Ferriss</div>
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<div>
<br /></div>
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'Ferriss has a very successful podcast, and has included wisdom from those he has interviewed into this book in three sections: healthy, wealthy and wise. Each little nugget can be digested on it's own and there's really no particular order in which you should read this!</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Recommended? Yes! 8/10.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div>
11) <b>Sapiens </b>by Yuval Noah Harari</div>
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I was led to this book after reading Dexter Dias' Ten Types of Human (above), and after it was recommended by a colleague and mentioned in passing by someone else. I thought all the hype must be for something - and I was right!</div>
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<div>
Harari does a great job of laying down the thousands of years of human history into a compact and easy to read book - I devoured the ~450 pages in about six days - and covers some of our greatest achievements as well as some of our irreversible (often ecological) fuck ups. It's also strange how often themes in this book have come up in the days since (I finished this last week). </div>
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I liked it so much I ran to the bookstore to get his next book (I got the last copy they had!) and plan to start it soon. </div>
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Recommended? Yes! 9/10.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div>
12) <b>Originals </b>by Adam Grant </div>
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What is it that makes some of us more creative than others? How is it that there are so many cool, original startups around, but only so many succeed? What is it that ensures a good idea is executed well?</div>
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<br />Grant is an organisational psychologist who covers all this and more in his wildly popular Originals. </div>
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Recommended? Yes! 8.5/10. Even if you're not an entrepreneur, the knowledge in this book is applicable.</div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5806732779530164754.post-41397322330422461162019-01-01T15:27:00.001+03:002019-01-01T15:33:55.327+03:00The Mayura: Restaurant Review<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Happy new year, everyone! It's been a while, so I thought to break tradition and post on a Tuesday this time - I'm sure you're in need of new restaurant recommendations, right?<br />
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Located in Kenrail towers, <a href="http://www.themayura.com/" target="_blank">the Mayura</a> is an Indian restaurant that you may not have been to yet. I'd heard about it, but never been, so when I was invited to do a review, I naturally jumped at the chance.<br />
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Located in Kenrail Towers, the ambience of the Mayura has peacock-themed, warm interiors. There's a lot of space to sit down, both inside and outside. The restaurant is the brainchild of Rajiv Segal, who has a corporate background and being from Delhi, had a high standard of quality and had developed a distinctive palate, which he wanted to bring to the people in Nairobi.<br />
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The menu was chosen for us by Rajiv (and boy, did we eat a lot!).<br />
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For starters, we had some paneer tikka, mutton chops, fish amritsari and banu kebab (chicken).<br />
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The paneer tikka was absolutely amazing! The paneer was fresh and soft, and the marinade was amazing. The flavours had permeated all the way into the paneer, and the accompanying spicy beetroot puree and mint chutney was a great pairing. It was reminiscent of a visit to Delhi I had made many years ago where I had similar paneer - amazing how flavours can bring back moments like those!<br />
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Next up - the mutton chops, fish amritsari and banu kebab.<br />
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The mutton chops were great! Easily the best I've had in a while. The meat was soft and came off the bone easily. The marinade was amazing too - not too spicy, with flavours of ginger, garlic and garam masala coming through, all the way into the meat.<br />
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The fish was nice too - it tasted homemade, and the batter had ajwain in it. The batter could've been a little crispier.<br />
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The chicken banu kebab, however, was not my favourite, and I wouldn't order it again. The charcoal from the grill overpowered the other flavours, and the spices hadn't gone into the chicken well.<br />
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For mains, we had dal makhni, rogan josh, butter chicken, accompanied by methi and butter naans.<br />
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The dal makhni was wonderful - it almost tasted like what you'd get at the gurudwara. I kept eating this, even without the naan, and could've happily had it on its own! It would've benefited from a tad bit more ginger.<br />
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The rogan josh was easily my favourite main meal! The Mayura has definitely figured out how to do amazing mutton - something which other restaurants get wrong a disappointing amount of the time! The flavours were WONDERFUL, with ginger, garam masala and onion coming through. The meat itself was so soft, almost melt-in-your-mouth!<br />
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The butter chicken was good - however, the flavours hadn't completely permeated into the chicken. The curry itself, however, was AMAZING - light and buttery.<br />
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Overall verdict? I definitely loved my experience there, and would go back again. This time, I may stay away from the chicken and opt more for the paneer and mutton dishes.<br />
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What did you think? Have you been to the Mayura yet? If not - do visit and let me know what you think!<br />
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<a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BsF5LCcBF9a/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_medium=loading" style="color: black; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none; word-wrap: break-word;" target="_blank">The latest #restaurantreview is up - check out the Mayura, an Indian restaurant in westlands. Link in bio . . . #foodie #foodiecam #foodblogger #igfood #foodporn #foodstagram #instafood #foodgasm #foodpics #kenyanblogger #kenyanfoodie #restaurantsinnairobi #feastagram #kenyanfoodie #yum #tasty #foodoftheday #treatyoself #instafoodie #theKenyanNomad #buzzfeast #haveyoueatenhere #FoodieCamKE #foodpornshare #beautifulcuisines #indianrestaurant</a></div>
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A post shared by <a href="https://www.instagram.com/kenyannomad/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_medium=loading" style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px;" target="_blank"> The Kenyan Nomad</a> (@kenyannomad) on <time datetime="2019-01-01T12:33:22+00:00" style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px;">Jan 1, 2019 at 4:33am PST</time></div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5806732779530164754.post-71185695725120147272018-11-15T10:00:00.000+03:002018-11-21T11:53:00.981+03:00Health First - or Treatment Later?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
"Would you rather be proactive about your health, or be reactive as needed?"<br />
<br />
If you pose this question, I highly doubt you'll find someone who'll select the latter (and if you do, I'd be very interested to meet them and learn more).<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-JRBcqPtccYw/W-rl7gEMg0I/AAAAAAAAFPk/wVtaydvwT-c-aMY7dz4nMY8XuRFN4spRgCLcBGAs/s1600/dance-3134828_1280.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="853" data-original-width="1280" height="266" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-JRBcqPtccYw/W-rl7gEMg0I/AAAAAAAAFPk/wVtaydvwT-c-aMY7dz4nMY8XuRFN4spRgCLcBGAs/s400/dance-3134828_1280.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
I think we all agree that it's important to be proactive about our health - physical health, mental health, emotional health - but when it comes to actually putting this into practice, <b>we fail</b>.<br />
<br />
We are finally coming to a stage where it is more acceptable to talk about our health issues, and we are supported on these. I'm especially pleased to see many organisations, carrying forward the discussion on mental health issues and how we can support those around us (<a href="http://www.kenyannomad.com/2017/07/lets-talk-about-mental-health.html">http://www.kenyannomad.com/2017/07/lets-talk-about-mental-health.html</a>)<br />
<br />
However, I firmly believe that we won't have as much impact as we'd like if we don't <b>address prevention alongside supporting treatment</b>.<br />
<br />
Personally, I've tried to get more proactive about my health, and I think there's a lot we can do as individuals to be proactive, and as organisations and social units to support this proactivity. (Here is an article I had published about some of my own 'wellness rituals' - and I'd encourage you to give it a read: <a href="http://www.kenyannomad.com/2017/05/wellness-rituals.html">http://www.kenyannomad.com/2017/05/wellness-rituals.html</a> )<br />
<br />
I'm not a medical professional, and I would advise you to follow their advice when it comes to actual practices to put into place, e.g., a regular workout routine, regular checkups with your doctor, a healthy diet. You're probably also aware of a few no-regret things you can put into place like getting enough sunshine, finding time to laugh and be grateful, meditation, and reading, just to name a few.<br />
<br />
What should you take away from this? As a person - it is ABSOLUTELY OKAY to say that you want to dedicate time and energy to self-care. As an organisation or social unit - you should try your absolute best to support those in your networks to help them understand that it is okay to do this!<br />
<br />
What are some of the ways that YOU have committed to be proactive about your health, and ways that you've seen support for this from others? Do feel free to share!<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5806732779530164754.post-38174481714712894332018-11-12T10:00:00.000+03:002018-11-12T10:55:26.064+03:00CJ's: Restaurant Review <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I've heard a lot of great things about <a href="https://www.facebook.com/CJs254/" target="_blank">CJ's Restaurant</a>, in the CBD, but unfortunately hadn't had an opportunity to go there until very recently (who goes to the CBD for fun, right?), when I was in town for a few meetings over a few days - and managed to go a few different times for lunch!<br />
<br />
CJ's is also that kind of place that has an amazing <a href="https://cjs.co.ke/" target="_blank">website</a> - warning, their online menu has tantalising pictures! - so they'd kind of already endeared themselves to me before I went.<br />
<br />
Two things I love about CJ's - despite being bang in the middle of Nairobi's CBD, they have a lovely, open ambience that's helped by the glass roof that lets in lots of natural light, and they have very friendly, attentive staff members.<br />
<br />
I wouldn't call myself a regular (just yet) but I've already discovered my CJ's drink of choice - their peach iced tea. There's an option of getting this with some ginger juice (Kenyans loveeee ginger), but I prefer it without.<br />
<br />
This peach iced tea is my new love. My bae if you will. If you ever need something from me, bring me one of these and your chances will be MUCH better!<br />
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<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-n7tAVWJDilc/W9gd2TUS1jI/AAAAAAAAFOk/tzce-vbuSnox0nSG2EIZL-IDdmiMQfNygCLcBGAs/s1600/Peach%2Biced%2Btea.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1024" data-original-width="768" height="400" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-n7tAVWJDilc/W9gd2TUS1jI/AAAAAAAAFOk/tzce-vbuSnox0nSG2EIZL-IDdmiMQfNygCLcBGAs/s400/Peach%2Biced%2Btea.JPG" width="300" /></a></div>
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<br />
On my first visit, I ordered chicken strips with masala chips, described as 'tender, juicy, breaded chicken strips served with honey mustard, french fries and coleslaw'. Honey, you had me at honey mustard...<br />
<br />
True to their word, these WERE tender and juicy, and absolutely delicious! The honey mustard was a PERFECT complement. The masala chips were good, but not exceptional, so next time I get this I may opt for their regular french fries.<br />
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<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-4DQ802GWq5Q/W9gerTdExUI/AAAAAAAAFOw/SGynJwVn9zsEl5OJg_GXBEyassGwMCZXACLcBGAs/s1600/Chicken%2Btenders%2Bwith%2Bmasala%2Bchips.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="300" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-4DQ802GWq5Q/W9gerTdExUI/AAAAAAAAFOw/SGynJwVn9zsEl5OJg_GXBEyassGwMCZXACLcBGAs/s400/Chicken%2Btenders%2Bwith%2Bmasala%2Bchips.JPG" width="400" /></a></div>
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The next time, I got the chicken parmesan sandwich - described as 'tender chicken lightly coated in parmesan breadcrumbs, roasted green peppers, rustica sauce and melt'.<br />
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This too was - spoiler! - amazing, and definitely had a comfort food vibe to it. The chicken itself was delicious, the green peppers and rustica sauce blended with it perfectly, and the parmesan breadcrumbs were the absolute cherry on top!<br />
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ucJgrrFzDHQ/W9gfMPVo_RI/AAAAAAAAFO4/sjLebv89CiAbaHHIU9PAH2Y8l6idq8APgCLcBGAs/s1600/Chicken%2Bparmesan%2Bsandwich.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="300" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ucJgrrFzDHQ/W9gfMPVo_RI/AAAAAAAAFO4/sjLebv89CiAbaHHIU9PAH2Y8l6idq8APgCLcBGAs/s400/Chicken%2Bparmesan%2Bsandwich.JPG" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
In fact, I enjoyed this sandwich so much that the next time I went, and opted for the half and half (one half of your choice of sandwich, a cup of soup of the day with a small caesar salad), my sandwich of choice was the chicken parmesan.<br />
<br />
This time, the soup was a lovely creamy Thai chicken noodle soup, which I'll definitely be returning for! The Caesar salad was fresh and crispy, and it had bacon. Who doesn't love bacon?!<br />
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<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-C_Y644gh72c/W9gftnhJm3I/AAAAAAAAFPE/ld7dOH7lLKYmcU_0Oc6bmkl2rpXU4UgRQCLcBGAs/s1600/Chicken%2Bnoodle%2Bsoup%252C%2Bcaesar%2Bsalad%252C%2Bchicken%2Bparmesan%2Bsandwich.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="300" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-C_Y644gh72c/W9gftnhJm3I/AAAAAAAAFPE/ld7dOH7lLKYmcU_0Oc6bmkl2rpXU4UgRQCLcBGAs/s400/Chicken%2Bnoodle%2Bsoup%252C%2Bcaesar%2Bsalad%252C%2Bchicken%2Bparmesan%2Bsandwich.JPG" width="400" /></a></div>
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Will I be returning to CJ's? Most definitely, and soon at that! In addition to their amazing food, service and vibe, their prices are also pocket friendly. Gotta run now - I find myself having this sudden, unexplainable craving for peach iced tea...<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BqEpg9_h_2Y/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_medium=loading" style="color: black; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none; word-wrap: break-word;" target="_blank">The latest #restaurantreview is up - find out why I think @cjs254 is definitely living up to the hype! Link in bio . . . #foodie #foodiecam #foodblogger #igfood #foodporn #foodstagram #instafood #foodgasm #foodpics #kenyanblogger #kenyanfoodie #feastagram #yum #tasty #foodoftheday #treatyoself #instafoodie #thekenyannomad #buzzfeast #haveyoueatenhere #FoodieCamKE #foodpornshare #beautifulcuisines #chickentenders</a></div>
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A post shared by <a href="https://www.instagram.com/kenyannomad/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_medium=loading" style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px;" target="_blank"> The Kenyan Nomad</a> (@kenyannomad) on <time datetime="2018-11-12T07:54:32+00:00" style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px;">Nov 11, 2018 at 11:54pm PST</time></div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5806732779530164754.post-83407992816700303122018-11-05T10:00:00.000+03:002018-11-05T10:14:53.009+03:00Afta Eats: Restaurant Review<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Sunday brunch is a sacred ritual to partake in - and what better place to indulge than a place reputed to have amazing coffees, waffles and crepes (both sweet and savoury), as well as granola bowls and vegan crepes?<br />
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A few Sundays ago, I decided to check out <a href="https://eatout.co.ke/nairobi/afta-eats" target="_blank">Afta Eats</a> with a friend for her birthday.<br />
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I love the light, open look and feel of the new wing at Village Market - part of it is almost food market-esque!<br />
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On this particular Sunday, Afta Eats wasn't that busy - surprising given all that I've heard about it, and that it was 11 am. They had a great, energetic playlist on, definitely something designed to get you up and about.<br />
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The only thing that could've improved the vibe of the place, in my opinion, would've been mimosas but - alas! - we managed to do without. The Afta Eats tables are definitely cute, with little infographics on various drinks in them. Their menus could use some upscaling though - they don't live up to the aesthetic of Afta Eats.<br />
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To drink, I got the chai latte, while my friend got a coffee.<br />
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The chai latte was unfortunately milky. Not bad, but not something I'd offer again unless they changed it.<br />
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Surprisingly, they didn't have chicken that morning. My friend and I decided to split a choco chip waffle, and a veggie crepe. I was a little suspicious about the latter - I'd gone in expecting meat - but this emerged as my favourite!<br />
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Surprisingly, the waffle was small! Definitely not the size I'm used to. However, this did not stop it from being ABSOLUTELY delicious. It was fluffy, not too sweet, and the strawberries were a perfect addition. I think this could absolutely be an amazing dessert!</div>
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The crepe - this was the surprise winner for me!! It contained a lovely medley of vegetables, and came with two different sauces - one spicy, one slightly tangy. It was perfectly spicy, with all the flavours of the vegetables coming through PERFECTLY! I'd definitely order this again (if I don't get tempted to try any of their others, of course), and would recommend you to as well. </div>
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Do I plan on going back? Most definitely, yes!<br />
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<a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BpyjWB6hFio/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_medium=loading" style="color: black; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none; word-wrap: break-word;" target="_blank">The latest #restaurantreview features a cute spot for #brunch at @aftaeats.nairobi - do let me know what you think! Link in bio . . . #foodie #foodiecam #foodblogger #igfood #foodporn #foodstagram #instafood #foodgasm #foodpics #kenyanblogger #kenyanfoodie #feastagram #yum #tasty #foodoftheday #treatyoself #instafoodie #thekenyannomad #buzzfeast #haveyoueatenhere #FoodieCamKE #foodpornshare #beautifulcuisines #waffles #crepes</a></div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5806732779530164754.post-11214396443252846232018-10-29T10:00:00.000+03:002018-10-29T10:15:54.555+03:00Amani ya Juu: Restaurant Review<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Although Nairobi is definitely a greener city than many others, it can sometimes feel like we are surrounded by concrete and construction, and personally this can be overwhelming at times! This is why I love going to restaurants like Zen Garden and the Arbor - the outdoorsy ambience serves to remind me that Nairobi is STILL more than your average concrete jungle.<br />
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I was super excited to learn that there's yet another restaurant I can add to my beautiful ambience list - <a href="https://www.facebook.com/amanigardencafe/" target="_blank">Amani Ya Juu</a> (or Amani Garden Cafe, not sure which is the correct name :) ). Amani ya Juu literally means 'peace from above', which I think is quite beautiful. </div>
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When a friend suggested meeting here for lunch one warm Saturday, I naturally jumped at the chance!<br />
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To drink, I ordered their iced tea, which was quite lovely and refreshing in this weather! Also, my new thing is iced tea, especially flavoured.<br />
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For mains, I ordered a cup of tomato soup and grown up grilled cheese (it had salami, pesto and mozzarella), which came with a small side salad, while my friend got the Serengeti salad (mixed green salad with apples, honey roasted Macadamia nuts and a choice of bleu or feta cheese) and Nairobi nachos (ugali chips with salsa, corn salsa and guac).<br />
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Surprisingly, my waitress came to me and told me that they didn't have the tomato soup, so she had replaced it with the carrot and cashew soup. I was a little confused as to why she didn't ask me what I wanted instead, but thankfully I didn't suffer.<br />
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It was delicious and quite soothing (and I was definitely in need of soothing)! Not a combination I've ordered before, but one that I would definitely get again - and the crackers were a lovely accompaniment too.<br />
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The sandwich was lovely and light - I thought it would be heavier than it really was, so that was nice. The flavours blended together well, although the pesto was a hint on the bitter side, leading to it coming through stronger than the salami or mozzarella. Who doesn't love a grilled cheese sandwich though??<br />
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The accompanying salad was also great - largely thanks to the delicious poppy seed dressing it came with that was light and tangy. Do they sell this by the bottle, perchance?<br />
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The nachos were good, although they were quite hard! I can imagine they would be difficult for very young or very old people to eat these.<br />
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The Serengeti salad, in addition to looking delicious, definitely lived up to its aesthetic! I think I may try that next time - doesn't it look absolutely amazing? It was also accompanied by the previously mentioned dressing.<br />
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<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-TRyYPRdozPM/W87zzs1hLEI/AAAAAAAAFNU/UreAXYqrI3U7WLEM0g6Jr7YEeVo1B7wsgCLcBGAs/s1600/Serengeti%2Bsalad.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="300" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-TRyYPRdozPM/W87zzs1hLEI/AAAAAAAAFNU/UreAXYqrI3U7WLEM0g6Jr7YEeVo1B7wsgCLcBGAs/s400/Serengeti%2Bsalad.JPG" width="400" /></a></div>
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For however lovely their ambience is, I think the cafe can definitely improve on its service which noticeably on the slower side. Thankfully, it was a lovely day and we were in no hurry at all, so we didn't get too upset about this. </div>
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What did you think? Are you keen on visiting this little green oasis? Let me know how you like it!<br />
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<a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BpghWHohO19/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_medium=loading" style="color: black; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none; word-wrap: break-word;" target="_blank">The latest #restaurantreview is up! Check out what I thought of Amani ya Juu, a lovely little leafy cafe off Riverside Drive. Link in bio . . . #foodie #foodiecam #foodblogger #igfood #foodporn #foodstagram #instafood #foodgasm #foodpics #kenyanblogger #kenyanfoodie #feastagram #kenyanfoodie #yum #tasty #foodoftheday #treatyoself #instafoodie #theKenyanNomad #buzzfeast #haveyoueatenhere #FoodieCamKE #foodpornshare #beautifulcuisines</a></div>
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A post shared by <a href="https://www.instagram.com/kenyannomad/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_medium=loading" style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px;" target="_blank"> The Kenyan Nomad</a> (@kenyannomad) on <time datetime="2018-10-29T07:10:29+00:00" style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px;">Oct 29, 2018 at 12:10am PDT</time></div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5806732779530164754.post-78552872097108937912018-10-25T10:00:00.000+03:002018-10-25T10:00:03.366+03:00Grief and I<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-hDLCfx90tuE/W83R5eMVS7I/AAAAAAAAFMk/uVtMQGm1KKs-3WHMtgTWy2kzfisEvJFqwCLcBGAs/s1600/feather-2571777_1280.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1280" data-original-width="1280" height="400" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-hDLCfx90tuE/W83R5eMVS7I/AAAAAAAAFMk/uVtMQGm1KKs-3WHMtgTWy2kzfisEvJFqwCLcBGAs/s400/feather-2571777_1280.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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Allow me to introduce you to my friend, <b>Grief</b>. He has been walking with me since April and I do wonder when I may be left alone...<br />
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Is there an FAQ for losing someone? Asking for a friend - not <b>Grief</b>, but me this time.<br />
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It's been a little busy in my mindspace recently - you see, <b>Grief </b>is quite popular and since he started hanging out with me, he has all these other friends who've decided to join the party.<br />
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<b>Confusion</b>. Waking up and feeling like it may be an ordinary day - but something, somewhere feels off, what could it be? <b>Confusion</b>. Having those around our family think that we're doing fine - how can they not see?<br />
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<b>Rage. </b>She kind of roams around with no clear target - sometimes she's concerned with how modern medicine failed us, how they didn't detect how serious it was in time, how something, SOMEWHERE, might have saved my uncle.<br />
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<b>Gratitude</b>. 26 years - I had 26 wonderful years to learn from him. Cut short though they may be, I'm grateful for every single day of these.<br />
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<b>Fear</b>. Fear whispers in my ear - what if what if what if? What if you have to go through this again? This time you broke, slowly and surely. Next time, you will surely shatter, and there won't be any putting you back together.<br />
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<b>Fearlessness</b>. Strangely enough, <b>Fearlessness </b>and <b>Fear </b>have found a way to coexist. Nothing could ever be scary compared to the last few months, right?<br />
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<b>Anger</b>. So much of it. The future we got cheated out of. Sometimes, unjustifiable toward my other family, who got more time with him then I did - and immediately followed by<br />
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<b>Shame. </b>We all lost him. I don't get to prioritise my friend <b>Grief </b>over his cousins who've found homes with my family at this time.<br />
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<b>Hope</b>. She's the gentle hand on my shoulder, telling me to stay strong, to be strong, to be happy - because that's what he would want.<br />
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<b>Hurt</b>. So many conversations left unspoken, questions left unasked. Things that only Shiri uncle would know - moments where I forget, the past, the usual, comes rushing back, I think of picking up the phone and shooting him a quick message and then boom! <b>Hurt </b>reminds me of that which I dared to forget.<br />
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<b>Weariness</b>. She's the loner standing at the corner of this whole party whispering softly<br />
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<blockquote class="tr_bq">
I'm tired. I'm exhausted. When does this ever end?</blockquote>
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<b>Strength</b>. He's the friend who has a direct connection to my support network and has managed to keep me going - keep us going - as this party goes on. I'm thankful, everyday, for his perseverance.<br />
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5806732779530164754.post-5417124641940936382018-10-22T10:00:00.000+03:002018-10-22T11:45:02.383+03:00Lucca: Restaurant Review<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<a href="https://www.facebook.com/Lucca-Villa-Rosa-Kempinski-681302385267320/" target="_blank">Lucca</a>, at the Villa Rosa Kempinski, Nairobi, is an Italian restaurant I'd long been meaning to check out, but never quite got around to. Naturally, when the opportunity came to go, I jumped at it! I've heard a lot of good things, so I was eager to check it out.<br />
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Friday night dinnertime found a friend and I at Lucca. I'd checked out their <a href="https://www.kempinski.com/umbraco/Surface/PdfViewer/DownloadItem/207556?filename=LUCCA" target="_blank">menu</a> in advance, but of course, hadn't quite yet decided what I wanted. </div>
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The ambience was warm and welcoming - think of a nicer deli vibe, which was comforting, especially considering this was still during Nairobi winter. The reception was also warm and welcoming - I was led to my well laid out table by a smiling server.</div>
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Their mixologist's creations looked very interesting! (However, I would recommend a quick spellcheck before they next print out their menu).</div>
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We opted for the Remy old fashion, and the Professor gin and tonic.</div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Professor gin and tonic</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Remy old fashion</td></tr>
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Both were amazing and refreshing, and I'll definitely be going back to try some of their other menu items!</div>
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To start off, as any respectable Italian restaurant should do, the restaurant provided a bread basket. Now, a well put together bread basket is enough to make me weak at the knees, and this one definitely didn't disappoint! Their specialty butters were also amazing and flavourful. </div>
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For mains, we opted for the Gnocchi di patate con calamari e pesto di basilico (Gnocchi with pesto and calamari), and the Chicken breast with puttanesca sauce, polenta cake and sautéed chard (that doesn't need a translation, does it?) Strangely enough, they didn't have ravioli that evening!</div>
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Let's start off with the Gnocchi. This was, quite simply, amazing. It was creamy and flavourful, with a delectable combination of flavours that worked very well together without being overpowering. The calamari also came through very well, and didn't fit into my favourite category of seafood pet peeves - overly fishy. I'll definitely be back for this!<br />
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-QTpSYKprHrE/W7oAOL_gHrI/AAAAAAAAFIQ/YNwTDsaxGMkjVup19pWmLY92RJjVPoY2QCLcBGAs/s1600/Gnocchi%2Bdi%2Bpatate%2Bcon%2Bcalamari%2Be%2Bpesto%2Bdi%2Bbasilico%2B.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="300" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-QTpSYKprHrE/W7oAOL_gHrI/AAAAAAAAFIQ/YNwTDsaxGMkjVup19pWmLY92RJjVPoY2QCLcBGAs/s400/Gnocchi%2Bdi%2Bpatate%2Bcon%2Bcalamari%2Be%2Bpesto%2Bdi%2Bbasilico%2B.JPG" width="400" /></a></div>
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The chicken breast on the other hand was - well, bland. Even the picture I took was blurry, I was so disappointed! Definitely not something I was expecting at a restaurant I'd heard so much about. </div>
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Overall verdict? I'll definitely be back to try more items on their menu - especially the drinks and the desserts, which we weren't able to get to. Despite the chicken, I did enjoy my experience, and would only urge that they apply their detail-oriented approach (think Gnocchi and drinks) to their WHOLE experience. </div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5806732779530164754.post-49149291356166258522018-10-15T10:00:00.001+03:002018-10-15T10:00:08.723+03:00Haandi: Restaurant Review<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
If anyone asks me to recommend the best Indian restaurant in Nairobi, I'll definitely say <a href="http://www.haandirestaurants.com/kenya.php" target="_blank">Haandi</a>. Hopefully this doesn't come as too much of a surprise to you, but if it does, or if you disagree, you're very welcome to change my mind! I'm always open to new experiences.<br />
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I don't go to the actual restaurant as often as I would like. Their ambience is lovely, but the location itself isn't too exciting.<br />
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It was a Sunday family lunch, and we were celebrating my parents' 39th anniversary (woo!), so you can imagine that we ordered quite a bit ;) In the interest of being true to what I write, I'll only cover the dishes that I personally tried out of those we ordered.<br />
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Before we begin - a huge kudos to Haandi for their service. We got great service and attention from our server as well as the manager on duty. The manager made sure to understand why we were there, gave us some lovely recommendations, and also helped us proactively adjust the portions we needed when it became clear that we had ordered (far) too much. Perhaps Haandi could think of getting wider tables? Punjabi families need all that space...<br />
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Another kudos for a website that is FUNCTIONAL and BEAUTIFUL! A personal pet peeve is going to an excellent restaurant with a crappy website - there's no reason you can't be excellent across all channels, is there?<br />
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I think I had a ginger ale or something, but my mum ordered a salty lime soda. It sounded hella weird, to be honest, but I think that's what I'll order when I go!! It had a lovely flavour and a delightful hint of mint. Plus, the salt was exotic not creepy if that makes sense?<br />
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To start off, we ordered the chilli paneer, the murg burra (boneless chicken tikka), and the lamb seekh kebabs.<br />
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To be incredibly honest - I've had better chilli paneer in Nairobi, even at Haandi itself! (Also, totally forgot to take a picture...)<br />
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The murg burra. Let's spend a moment here, shall we? Again. Without a doubt, I can say that this is the BEST boneless tikka I've had at a North Indian restaurant in Nairobi. The chicken was creamy and soft enough - think melt in your mouth. It was marinated exquisitely all the way through, and the chicken itself was great! Definitely a 10/10.<br />
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The seekh kebabs were great too - a little on the dry side, but good flavour, which sometimes restaurants completely fail to achieve when they're working with lamb.<br />
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For the mains, we ordered the malai kofta, dal bukhara, jeera chicken and rogan josh. I didn't try the malai kofta, but did manage to have a bite of all the rest.<br />
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First of all, the dal bukhara. It's been a LONG time since I've had a proper dal bukhara (black dal cooked overnight). This was amazingly done, with lovely flavours of ginger and butter too. Honestly, I wouldn't be opposed to ordering ONLY this and eating it alone the next time I go! Thanks for destroying stereotypes about vegetarian food having to choose between being healthy and being tasty, dal bukhara, you the real MVP.<br />
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The jeera chicken was perfect too. It's a personal favourite of mine, so there may be a little bias here - but I highly doubt it! I loved that the individual flavours of this dish were so perfectly subtle that they blended together perfectly! We got this medium spicy, but I feel like this dish could hold its own without that spice if it needed to.<br />
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Finally, the rogan josh. Again, forgot to take a picture here. Good - but didn't hold a candle to the chicken or dal!<br />
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We had these with naans and rice. The naans were soft, but not something I would eat alone. However, a perfect accompaniment to the dishes above.<br />
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After all this, we definitely had to take a meanwhile before heading home for some well-deserved cake!<br />
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Have you been to Haandi? What was your experience like?</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5806732779530164754.post-24152128828524189572018-10-11T10:00:00.000+03:002018-10-11T10:00:02.621+03:00Empathy and Compassion<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Empathy and compassion. Empathy and compassion. Empathy and compassion.<br />
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Empathy and compassion. Empathy and compassion. Empathy and compassion.<br />
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It's an internal mantra I've been experimenting with this month, inspired by the person I'm lucky to call my best friend, rock and role model - and I'll be the first to admit, I had no idea it would be so hard!<br />
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Where did this stem from, first of all? As I've probably mentioned before, I believe in continuous self-improvement, and sometimes this entails experimenting with different things that may work for the stage I find myself in.<br />
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One of the things that I strive to practice is being a kinder, more understanding person - both to those around me, strangers or otherwise, and to myself. I admire those people who ALWAYS exude compassion and strength - my best friend being one of them - and strive to learn from them when I can.<br />
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So, back to empathy and compassion. It's something I've been saying to myself when I encounter various situations or something that annoys me - not always, but sometimes. This could be anything from frustration with myself, a depressing news article (don't we have so many of those nowadays?), or an idiotic driver (empathy and compassion, empathy and compassion) who decides that their need to get to their destination should be prioritised over the similar needs of others.<br />
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Sometimes, this is immediately effective at helping! I find it very easy to react when others make decisions that seem silly or hurtful - for example, someone being rude - but by taking just a moment to remind myself to be empathetic and compassionate, I find it much easier to think about the intentions or drivers behind their actions and judge those instead of judging their actions. Someone whose elevator etiquette may be lacking may simply be having a stressful day and be in a rush to get to where they need to be.<br />
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However, the times I've found it incredibly hard to practice this have been when I've encountered a <b>sense of entitlement within the intentions themselves</b>. A sense of entitlement in others - AND in myself.<br />
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To give you an example, there seems to be a never ending river of vitriol online responding to various situations or the other (NEVER read the comments!). I've been especially disheartened to see the responses people have to those who, for example, have endured sexual abuse - seemingly born out of a perceived challenge to their existing ways of being and living and operating (<b>entitlement</b>).<br />
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Another example - I read a news article in the morning about a reporter who had been working to expose corruption in a European country and was found brutally murdered - someone thinking that it's okay to silence the voice of another that way (<b>entitlement</b>).<br />
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And another - whenever I've realised <b>my own dogma</b> around my ways of being and values (<b>entitlement</b>).<br />
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I always find it interesting coming across and directly confronting (what I see as) inadequacies, or things I can improve on, about myself.<br />
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I read somewhere that what irks you most in others is a reminder of that which you fear in yourself, and I do think this is true. Humans. We definitely are a weird species, aren't we?<br />
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What's the key takeaway of this?<br />
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We're not perfect - we never will be - but hopefully by remembering to practice empathy and compassion from time to time, we can make the world an easier place to live in, and by choosing to confront entitlement within ourselves, we can make this an even smoother process I hope.<br />
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5806732779530164754.post-13288578742858959422018-10-08T10:00:00.000+03:002018-10-08T10:15:42.241+03:00Soi: Restaurant Review<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
It's been a while since I'd been to <a href="http://www.soi.co.ke/" target="_blank">Soi</a>, a Thai restaurant at Dusit, so I definitely wasn't going to refuse this as a lunch location a few weeks ago!<br />
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The location is definitely convenient (for me, in this case ;) ), and I'm a fan of their ambience which may trick you into believing you're not in Nairobi.<br />
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To drink, I chose the Soi eleven sling - Longon gin shaken with fresh pineapple, lemon and sweet Thai basil, and soaked in tropical bitters and lemon soda. While I did enjoy this - it was refreshing and not too heavy for (what was supposed to be) a light Saturday lunch, I do think the aesthetic could've been improved. The plastic straw didn't do much for me (or the environment, I presume).<br />
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To start off, we ordered the Peek gai thod kha-min (deep fried chicken wings marinated with turmeric, fish sauce and garlic, served with Thai BBQ sauce). I really enjoyed these! They were amazing and flavourful, and the garlic came through perfectly. They could've been slightly crispier, but I would still order these again. </div>
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Now for mains - wow, we definitely over-ordered (and overate)! </div>
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We got the Gaeng khiew wan gai - green curry with chicken; the Moo phad bai horapa kai dao - stir-fried spicy minced pork with sweet basil leaves, garlic and fried egg (but we replaced the pork with chicken); the Bok choi phad goong (stir-fried pok choi with black pepper and prawns in Thai garlic sauce); and steamed rice. </div>
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First of all, the green curry. I'm a huge green curry fan, and this one definitely didn't disappoint! It had a slight bite to it (if you can't handle spice, beware), and managed to be wonderful and creamy. It was the perfect thing to order for a cold afternoon - comfort food if you will! </div>
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Next up, the stir-fried minced chicken. I wasn't sure what to expect from this, but I really liked it!! Didn't try the egg though, I'm not really a fan of egg in my Thai food. However, this definitely could've been spicier, but this was easily remedied by adding some of the hot sauce (and green chillies) we asked for. In terms of flavour profile, the basil definitely injected a sweet flavour to the dish, but it worked very well. </div>
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Now, the bok choi. I wasn't expecting to love this dish as much as I did!! I kept eating more and more, and even mixed it with the mince chicken (they went together very well). The prawns added to the light and refreshing feel of the dish, and the bok choi was perfectly cooked and crispy. </div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-7tUiZMBRC3Q/W7oIKoUEfpI/AAAAAAAAFJ8/QM9h7t9PT8wwsZ_C9_7OVm7kDBuks2ZeACLcBGAs/s1600/Bok%2Bchoi%2Bphad%2Bgoong.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1578" height="400" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-7tUiZMBRC3Q/W7oIKoUEfpI/AAAAAAAAFJ8/QM9h7t9PT8wwsZ_C9_7OVm7kDBuks2ZeACLcBGAs/s400/Bok%2Bchoi%2Bphad%2Bgoong.JPG" width="393" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My mouth is watering just looking at this again....</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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Finally, for dessert (Did you think I wouldn't make it this far? Well, you're wrong.), we opted for the coconut sticky rice with mango. Definitely a great choice, as it wasn't heavy at all, and not too sweet either (although the mango may have been a tad bit raw). </div>
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<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-24C6VzBLgxo/W7oI53KWCzI/AAAAAAAAFKI/VoF25lQe09wywvJLq_xgXrAdXd7CRoneQCLcBGAs/s1600/KHAO%2BNIEW%2BMA-MUANG%2B1.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="300" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-24C6VzBLgxo/W7oI53KWCzI/AAAAAAAAFKI/VoF25lQe09wywvJLq_xgXrAdXd7CRoneQCLcBGAs/s400/KHAO%2BNIEW%2BMA-MUANG%2B1.JPG" width="400" /></a></div>
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What did you think? Has this review made you want to go check Soi out? If so, do let me know what you end up ordering!<br />
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<a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BoqcyXWBDkr/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_medium=loading" style="color: black; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none; word-wrap: break-word;" target="_blank">The latest #restaurantreview is up! Check out what I thought of @soikenya 😍link in bio . . . #foodie #foodiecam #foodblogger #igfood #foodporn #foodstagram #instafood #foodgasm #foodpics #kenyanblogger #kenyanfoodie #restaurantsinnairobi #feastagram #kenyanfoodie #yum #tasty #foodoftheday #treatyoself #instafoodie #theKenyanNomad #buzzfeast #haveyoueatenhere #FoodieCamKE #foodpornshare #beautifulcuisines #thairestaurant</a></div>
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A post shared by <a href="https://www.instagram.com/kenyannomad/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_medium=loading" style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px;" target="_blank"> The Kenyan Nomad</a> (@kenyannomad) on <time datetime="2018-10-08T07:11:39+00:00" style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px;">Oct 8, 2018 at 12:11am PDT</time></div>
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