Supermoon

Got a chance to pull out my camera today after a long time, and it felt great! I did get some interesting pictures, but none compare to the real thing... it was incredibly beautiful. It feels like I've seen the moon thousands of times, and yet, moments like these never fail to take my breath away. It's the simple things, really.

To Move and To Stay

Recently, I've had to tell myself that soon (hopefully), I'll be settled down in some (as yet unknown) place. I'll relax into some sort of routine, and most of my time will be spent in the city that I choose to live and work in. One city, one home, one room. For an extended period of time. Sure, many of us make big moves in our lives; moving to different cities, states, or even countries. Yet, I've heard of a lot of people who've lived in the same 50-kilometre radius for their whole lives (which does confound me just a little bit). From my perspective, I'm one of the lucky/unlucky (take your pick) ones who has done quite a bit of moving in 22 years. Big city in East Africa, to small town in India. Small town in India, to small town in Western Kenya. Small town in Western Kenya back to big city Nairobi. Big city Nairobi to Tennessee (exactly four years ago). And most recently? A move from Tennessee, with my destination yet to be decided. And at this grown up destination, there is sure to be some sort of routine that I will fall into.

Most humans have evolved into creatures of habit. We can rarely be defined as nomads, and travel is often done with the aim of getting back to where we started from. From being something that was important and undertaken quite often by our ancestors, travel has taken on a leisurely tone, and is rarely a regular necessity.
Do I want to be forced by circumstances to have to move my home every few weeks or even days? Absolutely not. But I do want to be able to remember, when my 'life routine' has set into place, to make travel a priority. Not just travel for the sake of relaxation and exploration, but travel for the sake of learning and growing and appreciating that we live in a very big place indeed.

On that note, I've been thinking of making a travel bucket list. Of course, I have no idea where to start. There's so much diversity of place to be found a mere one hundred miles away; how do I expect myself to pick from an entire globe? But pick I must, and sooner rather than later, so that as time goes on I have something to use should I try make excuses for myself later on. Ireland would be great to start, wouldn't it?

Aspects of Culture

How much truth is there in the claim that the youth of today have no respect and love for culture? The culture they were raised in, the culture they live around, or the culture they are expected to know. Yes, nowadays, boundaries and borders are much easier to transcend due to the reach of social media and modern transport. These very vessels might make it easier for us to live in a sort of digital, personal culture, where each person operates on their own and their primary interaction with the world and people around them happen across laptop and smart phone screens. 

I have heard many people of Indian descent lament the fact that their children do not speak their 'native languages' as well as they should, or appreciate the food that they themselves grew up with. However, I think  we are making a mistake in confusing children who are rejecting culture with children who are at an age where most need to rebel in order to learn. 

We will always pick and choose which aspects of culture are maintained from generation to generation, just as people pick and choose which aspects of their religion they are comfortable with. For example, for some, cutting the hair on their heads is a grave mistake; but their beards and mustaches will be impeccably kept. Others think that loving certain kinds of people is wrong, but they'll eat things that their religion supposedly forbids. Similarly, there will be certain parts of culture that will always appeal to us more than others. 

For those who are worried that appreciation for culture is dying out, think again. As long as humans appreciate the importance of place, love, emotions and the things that make us feel and tie us together, culture will still be highly relevant in society. 

I speak from experience of course. As an Indian Kenyan, I've come to realise we have a culture of our own. We're multilingual. We appreciate (and claim) many different kinds of food. Art is important and revered. We dress up in certain ways for important occasions. Indian Kenyan-ness has such a richness to it that's hard to describe in words. And at the end of the day, we know that we have an identity that we can uniquely claim as our own. 

#YesAllWomen: My Turn

Normally, I don't tend to participate in huge social media movements that purport to change the world (think KONY). Many a time, people get caught up in sharing and liking and tweeting to such an extent that they forget what the movement or cause was actually about, if they ever even knew in the first place. However, #YesAllWomen is a rapidly growing movement that is raising awareness and telling stories of individuals too, and that's what I hope to do here. Does it literally mean 'all women'? No, not really. But are the stories applicable to most. Yes, definitely.

The other day, by which I mean two days ago, I had come back from NYC and was waiting at the train station for my aunt to come and pick me up. I was walking aimlessly, when a man came up to me. I've been approached by strangers before; to ask for directions, to tell me I dropped something, and many such similar situations. However, in this case, my instincts told me something was up because this man didn't seem to understand the concept of personal space. Also, he was rather unsteady on his feet, and took a while to formulate any sort of sentence. Turns out, he didn't speak much English, but did say something along the lines of 'you me'. Uhhh. Weird. I got on the phone and made some lingually unambiguous gesture toward it in the hopes that he would see that I was busy, and leave me alone, but no such luck.

Eventually, I went to stand with the railway cops, who told me the man was slightly drunk (unsteady on his feet. right. got it) and that they would keep an eye out. He eventually disappeared, and I breathed a sigh of relief. It was broad daylight, there were plenty of people around and it wasn't really that much of a big deal, but creepers makes me uncomfortable enough.

Now, keep in mind that this guy was shorter and scrawnier than I am. I told myself that if need be (which it probably wouldn't have been) I could 'take him on'. Later on, however, I realised that this was probably completely untrue. Yes, I may have been physically strong enough to do it, but the thought of voluntarily causing someone harm doesn't appeal to me (no matter how much they may deserve it). Despite the fact that the man made me uncomfortable, I tried to deal with it in the most polite way I could; by avoiding direct confrontation.

Usually, I wear a ring on the ring finger of my left hand; not because I'm engaged, but because I'm genuinely fond of the ring and it's the only finger that it really fits on. Of course, it's come in handy in some situations, and I remember thinking to myself that if I had had the ring on, maybe he would have left me alone much sooner, thinking that I was engaged/married. And then I stopped. And thought. And thought again. Apparently it's true.... #YesAllWomen

Love, Loss and the Land Beyond

This weekend, our family lost its eldest member, Dr. Rip Daman Singh; my paternal grandfather. He was 89 and had been ill for about 2-3 months, so this was not entirely unexpected, but it still came as something of a shock. He lived at home with us in Nairobi, and had been a part of my life for as long as I can remember.

Soon enough, the news spread far and wide, and his family members all over the globe were overwhelmed with calls, messages, and so much love and support. In these two days, I understood more than ever before how loved he was and just how many people looked up to him.

My grandfather was a doctor in Kenya during colonial times and after, and was in fact a British citizen. He travelled to quite a few places and made friends wherever he went. He was a 'tale twister' for Lions Club (quite an important distinction from 'tail twister' in a Lions' Club!) I remember whenever people came home to visit, he was always ready to laugh and share a joke or story or two from back in the day, and it always surprised me to see the wealth of experience that someone I lived with everyday had. 

Death is not an easy thing for humans to confront. In a society that has done as much as it can to make itself immortal, this final end is a harsh reminder of just how fleeting life can be. 

At this time more than ever, I wished that I could be home with my parents and the rest of the family, but also realised just how united the family was. Over three continents, this past weekend, we came together stronger than ever to celebrate the legacy of a wonderful man who is one of the reasons we are so united, and that none of us is ever truly alone. Today, he and my grandmother celebrate their 65th wedding anniversary in the land beyond. They are together again after about 21 years, and those of us left here are all celebrating a life well lived with an abundance of love and laughter. Already, we've seen signs of him smiling down at us, and we know he'll be watching over us forevermore. 

"Do not stand at my grave and weep

I am not there. I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow.

I am the diamond glints on the snow.

I am the sunlight on ripened grain.

I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you awaken in the morning’s hush

I am the swift uplifting rush

Of quiet birds in circled flight.

I am the soft stars that shine at night.

Do not stand at my grave and cry;

I am not there. I did not die."

- Mary Elizabeth Frye, 1932

This Blogger is Now a Graduate

I'm a representative of 'today's society'. I have a laptop, a smartphone, a tablet that I can read books on. I have a Bachelor of Arts degree from a pretty prestigious university (Did I mention I graduated on the 11th? WHEEEEEEEEE!) I travel pretty often. I stay in touch with people who're miles and miles away, but don't necessarily know who most of the people who live near me are. And most of all, I live a largely sedentary lifestyle.

For me, the way I live is nothing really out of the ordinary. So many people do it. I'm just another person in the larger society who has to play my part, right? The other day though, I was thinking about how it would be to interact with an ancestor. Not a really, really old one, but maybe one or two centuries back. That's when the differences really struck me.

Back in the day, so much of the day consisted not in sitting down and staring at a computer screen all day, but standing and walking and doing physical labour; men and women both. Children, instead of playing racing games on their iPads and Xboxes, would spend considerable amounts of time outdoors, running around and potentially actually racing with their peers.

Instead of meals purchased at the frozen foods section, food was fresh and prepared daily, and I daresay much healthier than anything I choose to eat today.

People sent letters to others in faraway places, but had lots of interaction with their neighbours and the surrounding community.

Now, that's not to say that I'd love to go back and live in the past. Not at all. I love the blessings that modern plumbing has bestowed on us, and I recognise the fact that as a woman who wants a fulfilling career, I may not have had much options in the past. Definitely, going back two centuries would mean that my home would not be in my beloved Kenya, but rather in India, the place of my ancestors. Two centuries ago, as a 22 year old, I may have already been married (eek) and possibly even had children by now, when now, even having a dog may be a lot to look after. One of my great-something-grandmothers was married at 13, widowed at 18 with children, and lived to be about 99 plus if I'm not mistaken. At 18, my biggest concern was freshman year French.

I do think it would be nice to have a life that was faster paced; not with stress but with activity and interaction. Maybe awareness is key? I think I'll go take a walk and find out.

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Respect Earned and Deserved

Society, and those of us who live in it, has this way of giving respect to those who are very vocal, those who stand up in the public eye and demand it, those who seem to command respect simply by virtue of their position in life. This leads me to pose a question; has respect become something that is entirely about show? Unfortunately, many times, this does seem to be the case.

Many people I know who are endowed with quiet strength, who tend to live in the background yet play a vital and often unnoticed role in the lives of the people around them don't seem to command the same level of respect that their peers do.

Just because these people don't stand up and say, "Hey, look at me! I did this, I am so-and-so and I deserve respect!" or because no one else says it for them doesn't mean that they should get less. Indeed, I could argue that there are many 'ordinary' people I know in the background who have a lot of strength and character and deserve more respect than some of their peers who are better known, in leadership positions and who tend to have a large social presence.

This is the point where I feel I must clarify myself. Not all the respect given to the leaders among us is undeserved. In fact, most of it is not. However, instead of freely giving respect to those that society tells us deserve it, I'd like to see a day when it is given to people who deserve it by virtue of having earned it.

Importance of Linguality

I speak four and a half languages (the half being that I'm still learning French). This was never much of a big deal to me in Kenya, but coming to a place like Sewanee, speaking more than two seemed to be a sort of miracle.

For those of us who grow up in Kenya but are of an Indian background, we are automatically trilingual. We speak English, which is our primary language. We speak Swahili, which we pick up from the indigenous Kenyans around us. We also speak whatever our mother tongue happens to be, which in my case is Punjabi. My fourth language, Hindi, is very closely related to Punjabi, and was reinforced by the watching of shows and movies in the language, as well as interactions with those of my extended family who live in India.
Growing up multilingual makes it much easier to pick up new languages, especially at a young age. However, I never really appreciated the importance of languages until very recently.

I remember back in one of the schools I attended when I was younger, when I was reprimanded for using a language other than English. To be fair, I was referring to my grandfather, who we call 'Dadaji,' a term used in Punjabi and Hindi for a paternal grandfather. At that time, I never really questioned why we weren't allowed to speak and celebrate other languages at that particular school. At home, when my parents encouraged me to speak Punjabi so that I could keep up with it, I would whine and complain and speak it as badly as I could in some form of weak rebellion.

I think my real appreciation of language started when I came to Sewanee; confronted by many peers who weren't bilingual, much less trilingual, I found that I celebrated the part of me that could understand and converse in more than just English. I'm not saying that there is anything wrong with knowing just one language, as not everyone has the desire or even need to know more, just that there are many benefits to be enjoyed from understanding more than one.

For starters, speaking more than one language does give one the ability to interact with many different sorts of people, and bridge many gaps. I remember when I was younger, and staying at a hotel down at the coast with my family. I was sent to return the beach towels for the day, and met a French lady who didn't speak any English, and a hotel worker who didn't speak any French. I was able to act as an interpreter (although I don't know how well I did...), and that seemed really cool at the time. Over time, I've realised that being able to speak more than one language has given me the ability to transcend cultures and understand different sorts of people, pick up on contextual clues, and be able to learn more from the people around me.

Another thing that learning languages helps enable is the learning of other things. I've always been a voracious reader (I finished the LOTR trilogy in three days when I was younger), and I wonder if part of this is just that being multilingual increased my ability to understand material faster when I was younger. Psychologists have done research on the effects multilinguality has on the brain and neural pathways; in this respect, a Google search or a conversation with someone trained in this field may yield more information than I could provide in a simple post.

I think one of the things I love best about languages is that they help to preserve and maintain cultures, and many of these cultures are so historically rich.
As soon as I have time to, I intend on finishing French and then picking up a sixth... I'm open to suggestions if anyone has any!
Celebrate linguality today, won't you!

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Gratitude: Your Emotional Salary

Yes, I finally found motivation to write again. Can bloggers get writer's block? Because apparently I did. And now the words are back.

Anyway, gratitude. Such a simple thing, yet so constantly underestimated. I'm not just talking about the two words (thank you) that sometimes are thrown around so carelessly but appreciation that is sometimes unspoken and not so obviously stated.

This semester, at Sewanee, I am helping to co-ordinate the Gratitude Project for its year (and my second helping to run it). What this entails is thank-you notes written to every single employee of the University of the South. Professors, policemen, chefs, custodians, everyone gets them. They're written by students, and distributed toward the end of the semester. Everyone gets at least one, although some people may get more. While it wasn't the easiest thing to organise and get done, for me, hearing feedback from those who got the notes made this more than worth it for me last year. One person last year thanked us for the gift that we had given the community, and I recognised that gratitude was indeed that; a gift that we give to others. When interviewed for the student newspaper, I tried to explain the importance of the Gratitude Project by comparing it to a salary. Employees get paid money for what they do, and that takes care of their physical needs, but gratitude is a kind of emotional salary, although so much more than just that.

Gratitude is definitely an important part of my life; I like being able to let the people around me know that they are appreciated; for what they are and for what they do.
Thank you all for reading this!

Brief motivation

I'm tired of all these wonderful people I know putting themselves down because they don't meet certain standards imposed on them by themselves or others. Don't fall prey to anyone who tells you that you're not good enough, smart enough, worthy enough... that you're not enough. You're beautiful, you're confident, you're awesome and dammit, you alone can be you!
Move on from those who manage to suppress the best in you...you deserve better.

Purple Haze

Recently, the rugby team here at Sewanee played their last home game, and won to cap off yet another undefeated season! To celebrate this, I thought I'd post some of the pictures I've taken of the team and especially the current seniors over the past two years. Enjoy!

A Difference in Opinion

More than just enabling us to formulate and express our own opinions, I'd like to think that the education that we receive helps us to recognise and respect the fact that others have opinions too, and that these opinions do not necessarily have to align with our own.

Last night, I posted a picture on a social media site that emphasised the importance of loving your neighbour as you love yourself, regardless of the neighbour's race, class, religion or sexuality. I know that this is not a point of view that is shared by everyone, but I figured that those who did not agree would either refrain from commenting, or would express their opinion in a way that led to discussion as opposed to argument.

Unfortunately, I was wrong. I was surprised by the vehemence with which someone told me that my opinion was wrong, and that what a certain group of people did was essentially absolutely immoral. I did try to discuss the comment with this individual, but to no avail. To avoid offending others who may see the picture, I went ahead and deleted the comment, but the surprise still remained.

I know of many others who have experienced similar backlash after expressing their opinions on a variety of topics, and the thing that stands out to me is that most of the backlash comes from the 'older' generation; those who have taught us and guided us and encouraged us to have opinions.

I don't think the world will ever be at a place where everyone agrees with everyone else, and I frankly think that such a world would bore me! I enjoy the talking to intellectuals who have different points of view from myself, and who are able to challenge me to think beyond my own sphere of existence. However, I would like to believe that one day we may reach a point where we are all free to express our opinions, and be respected for them.

Have a great day!

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Letters

I miss them! I really do. Back in the day (....I hate that I'm old enough to say this), I used to send and receive lots. Recently, I decided that enough was enough with the complaining about how much I missed letters, and I decided to start sending them. And sure enough, replies came! Slowly, but surely. Some were short, some took a month or two, but the replies came nonetheless.

Why such an emphasis on good old handwritten letters? First of all, I'm someone who thinks and can express herself much better with pen and paper, as opposed to while using a keyboard. That's not to say that I think there's anything wrong with typing! I send plenty of emails too, and keep in touch with most people via Whatsapp, Gmail, or Facebook. However, I've realised that at times I'm guilty of not putting as much into these online communications as I would a real letter.

Also, those of you who 'do letters' can attest to the fact that it's not just receiving letters which is thrilling, but writing them too! Just yesterday, when I came home from work, I was in a great mood and thought I should channel that toward some letters to friends and family across the globe. Before I knew it, it was an hour and a half later, and I had written five!

Try it out if you never have; I'm not trying to inspire a trend here, but rather share the joy that letter-writing has brought me. They needn't be long or emotional or extremely fancy!

Photoshop Experiment

I did this a couple of years ago, and it took HOURS! Stumbled across it again and thought I should share. None of the pictures are mine, they can all be found on Google.

Vacation Destination: New Orleans

This past weekend, I visited New Orleans for the first time ever, and had the absolute best time. I've definitely found a city that I could add to my list of my top three vacation spots, and it especially appealed to me because of its rich history, and the antiques, arts and photography that were on display.

Old homes and buildings absolutely fascinate me. I love learning their history, and exploring the connection with the people who lived or worked at these places in times past. Unfortunately, the historic graveyard we wanted to visit had closed an hour before we got there, but there was plenty of opportunity to see the rich cultural history elsewhere!

I feel like I could talk about the city and the experiences I had there for ages, so I'm going to let the pictures we took do some of the talking!

Oddly enough, I found little reminders of Kenya in NOLA too; I stumbled across a shop that carried Maasai-made souvenirs, and it was nice to have a little piece of home!

While at the French Market, I saw a Sikh at one of the stalls. Being myself, I went over to say hello, and was extremely touched when he said to me "Daughter, sit down and share my meal" (in Punjabi of course).

(Also, I got my palm read outside Jackson Square and was extremely pleased by the fact that my life is apparently going to be awesome. Cha-ching!) 

Another cool reminder of home was when I discovered that the tea in our hotel room was from Kenya!

On Saturday night, we saw one of the parades, the Krewe du Vieux. The masks, beads and boas were great; we had a fantastic view from one of the balconies in the city overlooking the parades, and had lots of extra Mardi Gras beads and boas and other artefacts that we threw to the crowd below (and yes, I did feel like a benevolent goddess at that point).

I absolutely cannot WAIT to go back and visit at some point again. Have a fantastic day, won't you!

Snippets of Me

A year ago, I did something rather uncharacteristic and wrote a whole piece about myself. I was hoping to have something more concrete that I could use when somebody asked me to 'tell them about myself'. I'll admit that I got kind of carried away with the whole self-discovery blah-de-blah, but some interesting things did emerge that strike me as being very true about myself (and that I don't mind sharing with my readers). Hope this gives more insight into the craziness that is my mind! (Beware, these are just pieces from the longer article that I wrote, and may at times make no sense at all!)

I love people. Being around them, learning about them, helping them, loving them and learning from them. Yet, it gets tiring sometimes you know? The energy in the people around me most definitely rubs off on me. So sometimes, I like to retreat into my space, and be with my thoughts and music and writing and dreams and silence.
People are surprised when I need time for myself. "But... you're so social! Why do you need to be alone?"
Because I can at the same time be my best friend and my worst critic. 

I think that's my way of self-defense sometimes. In a serious or tense situation, I'll step forward and be the immature person. Or the naive person. Because reality is no fun sometimes. 

There is something important I've learned though; not all successes are successes, and not all failures are failures. Life is definitely easier when I'm trying to live up to my own expectations; and yet at times, harder.

Having grown up so fast, I welcomed with arms wide open the chance to be young. And careless. And free. To make mistakes and enjoy them because I made them all by myself.

I'd like to call myself an old soul, and yet I never want to grow up.
Tea is one of my weaknesses. I’m not a morning person, but my day always starts up with a nice cup of Kenyan tea (with milk of course).

A common thing I do is make a list of whether or not I should do something, get opinions from other people; and then go along with my gut instinct anyway.

In line with my Piscean spiritual nature, I love elemental things. Being at the beach during sunrise, watching the stars, or just gazing at the moon are things I really enjoy. My room this year faces East, so in the morning I get beautiful light pouring into my room. I’m not a morning person at all, so anything that makes mornings great is appreciated. 

Someone read my palm when I was younger and said that I would become a famous author. Haha. One day maybe. Tonight, the papers I have to write for psychology are looming threateningly over my shoulder.

97 Days to Graduation

My goodness. I don't know if the fact that I'll soon be leaving this beautiful place behind has fully sunk in until now.

Before I came to Sewanee, I was a very different person. I definitely wasn't as confident as I am today, or even as appreciative of the people around me or the experiences that I had as I should have been. These past three and a half years have gone a long way into making me into the person that I am today, and saying goodbye is going to be difficult!

I doubt that I can sum up why Sewanee is so great in just one post, so I know I'll have to spread it out over a few. While I'll have the opportunity to reflect on what I'll be leaving behind later on, right now, what's on my mind is what I'll be going towards.

I (and most of my peers) have been students for all our lives. We've had the comfort of Christmas holidays, long summer breaks, and the certainty that we know what's about to come in the next few months; more school.

Scarily enough, this is all about to change. People ask me why I'm not going directly into graduate school, and I give two reasons:
1) To get an MBA, I'd like to have some work experience first.
2) I know how to be a student. I could even argue that I'm pretty good at it. So, I'd love to challenge myself in a new way; by taking on a "real-life" job.

Where am I going to be in May? Honestly, I don't know yet. The question can sometimes scare me, and and at others, motivate me. Many peers I speak to are going through the same things. Some have their post-graduation plans neatly planned out, while some will run far, far away if they're made to think about what they're going to be doing.

Fortunately, thankfully, luckily, (and you get what I'm saying here), I know that wherever I am, it's going to be the best thing for me and I will still be able to learn. I know this not just because my experiences at Sewanee have done a fantastic job of preparing me to handle anything that comes my way, but because I have a strong support system of mentors, family and friends who believe in me.

This reminds me of a time in my final year of secondary school; I had no idea where I was going to be in September, but somehow, Sewanee happened to me, and completely changed my life.
To all the soon-to-be graduates who're terrified by the thought of leaving familiarity behind, know that graduation will not mean the end of friendships and meaningful experiences; rather, we will build up on the ones that we've had, and have some amazing new ones too. Best of luck!

Robin Sharma's Rules

This was definitely worth sharing! Sharma is an extremely inspirational author, and I hope that all of you get a chance to read something of his at some point.

Black Hole

"It's a time warp you see,
Whatever you put in will come out eventually.
You'll get it back, honest!"
That's what you remember,
That it felt good to give.
Pouring yourself into that space, that place, that time,
Rewarded.
You didn't want much, didn't expect much just gave.
And on the other side,
I took.
I could return it, reciprocate some.
But it's so hard you see.
It takes some effort,
And I'm feeling so very lazy today.
You're still giving and giving and giving.
And I'm going to expect you to keep giving even more.
See, I don't realise what this takes away from you.
Drains your energy,
Weakens your resolve,
Shakes your faith.
And one day,
I'm not going to realise what I had till it's gone.
But I'll be too late. 
-Roshni Walia