Meet the Mentor: Frazer Buntin (part 3)

We hope you’ve been enjoying the feature on Frazer so far! If you haven’t read the previous parts yet, you can catch them here and here. Today, Frazer will be answering some questions I threw his way.

What are three principles that leaders should live by?

1.      Intense personal reflection

2.      Don’t give a shit

3.      Facilitate radical candor

What three words would you use to describe yourself?

1.      Intuitive

2.      Active

3.      Controlling (see, not all roses and rainbows!)

What’s the best advice that someone has ever given you?

“Use your head”

If there’s an aspect of your journey that has surprised you so far, what would you say it is?

How quickly we can adapt to change

Now-Frazer meets early-20’s-Frazer. What advice would you give him?

If I could give my early-20’s “me” some advice, it would be to not listen to my 42-year old self if I ever show up from the future with advice. Our paths need to happen. Our paths need to unfold. The unfolding is our life.

My incredibly wise words to college seniors when I go back to Sewanee to speak are:

“Do something! As that something will lead to something else.”

There is no defined path for us. There is no single right answer. However, if forced, I would tell myself to take more chances, live interesting places, do more cool shit that I haven’t done before, keep cultivating friends, let love happen, reflect intensely, don’t give such a shit.

Congratulations! You just won a million dollars. What are you going to do with it?

If I won a million dollars, I would perhaps start one micro-foundation of something for each of my kids, for something that are passionate about. I would use it as a way to help them create and cultivate something worthy over their lives. I think this could be a really cool experience for my kids to participate in running a micro-foundation. This perhaps could be the most valuable education they could receive and a really fun way for me to spend time with them.

If you were invited to give a TED talk, what would you speak about?

I would absolutely give a TED talk on the intersection of intense personal reflection and not giving a shit.

What’s your favourite book, and recommended reading for others?

Favorite book:

Panther in the Sky by James Alexander Thom.  It’s not my favorite book from a content standpoint but it was the book that really got me connected into reading at a young age so for that reason, it is my favorite book.

Recommended reading:

A New Earth by Ekhart Tolle

Reflections of a Ghost by Andrew Lytle

Working Days by John Steinbeck

Your biggest source of strength is…

…consciousness.

Do you know what your goals and ambitions are going forward?

My goals and ambitions going forward are to live a full life, moment by moment. That’s as specific as I am right now.

If you could host a dinner party and invite any three people, dead or alive, who would they be?

I would invite my wife, my son, and my daughter. We would dress up in formal wear and listen to hip hop music.

Many people have different success rituals. Which are yours?

For success rituals, we also would need dozens of pages to cover this topic. I am a very ritualistic person, and I have many rituals that I constantly refine and use to extreme degrees. These rituals include morning routines, workload and schedule management, parenting, nutrition, exercise, sleep. Perhaps we can do a follow-up on these and get into more detail (editor’s note: keep an eye out for this!).

In my first post, I mentioned that Frazer is working on an exciting new project – he’s working to add a new title under his belt – that of ‘author’. Back to Frazer…

Yes, I am working on a book project right now, which includes some of the topics covered in these posts. It is a book about feelings. Specifically, the way we feel throughout our professional careers during points of intensity. Typically, behind any extreme period within our careers (highs, lows, frustrations, fears), there are a set of common feelings. “I feel like I am drowning in work.” “I feel like I am stuck.” “I feel like no one cares about my career.” “I feel like a monkey can do my job.”

I explore why we have these feelings, with deep context of the underlying causes. I also use my experiences throughout my career of having these same feelings to explain tactics to cope through the friction that these feelings create. I have had some crazy-ass experiences in my career, and they have given me some deep points of context. A rare few get context in our professional careers, so the value of the book will hopefully be both understanding that context and taking action from it. The output of this context is this same professional acceleration.

I was inspired to write this book over a long period of time but especially after doing a mentoring session with a large group of professionals at Evolent. One of the participants sent me an email afterward that tipped me over the edge into action.

Similar to mentoring, my ability to share wisdom through context creates efficiency out of inefficiency. The audience for the book is likely primarily individuals who are earlier in their career. However, the spectrum of feelings can span across a broad scope of levels and points of time, so there is value in the material for most folks. I hope to help others understand these periods of intense feelings and equip them with some tools to deal with these periods. At the same time, I hope to make them laugh, as some of the stuff that has happened to me is damn funny.

If anyone is interested further in learning more about the project, you can reach me at fbuntin@contactliving.com.

Thanks much for inviting me to contribute!

  

Meet the Mentor: Frazer Buntin (part 2)

In part 1 last week, we met my mentor, Frazer Buntin, and learnt about his early life and education background. Today, he'll talk to us about his career so far.

Work background

Right after school, I worked for my father’s company for about a year. I wanted to see if the business clicked with me and additionally, my older brother, with whom I am very close, was there as well. My plan was to work and live at home and eat Ramen noodles to save as much money as possible for an epic adventure.

I absolutely love adventure. I love adventure more and more throughout my life and also regret not adventuring more along the way. This particular adventure was about 3 months of tramping around New Zealand and Australia with a back pack and a $500 car that I bought off a cork board advertisement in the first hostel I came to in NZ. I hiked and camped and climbed mountains and fly fished and sat in silence for long periods during the middle of the day.

One rainy afternoon, I simply started writing while lying in a bunk bed in a $5 a night hostel. I wrote about what kind of person I wanted to be. I wrote about the values I wanted to hold true to in my life. Many of these values had always been present but had been dulled by the norms of college. Some of these values were new. That day – and the entire trip – ended up being a bit of a personal reset button for me. I came away from that experience with clarity on how I wanted to “show up” to life at my most fundamental level. I cherish that time still today and feel that it set me on a course personally that I still benefit from today.

My professional career has spanned some incredible and crazy-ass experiences. I have worked for huge companies and started companies and have been CEO twice and have travelled all over the US. I have had unbelievable successes and epic failures. My path has been so winding that it would take dozens of pages to describe the way my career has unfolded.

Today, I am president of a large division of a high-growth healthcare company called Evolent Health. Evolent has gone from having 3 employees to over 2,600 in 5 years. We have gone from an idea to a $1 billion IPO in 5 years. Someone once said:

 When you have a seat on a rocket ship, don’t ask which seat is yours, just sit down.

That is how I feel about Evolent. We have smart people, great culture, and most importantly, our work is meaningful and interesting to me. Those last two items are the ticket-to-the-dance requirements for me. My main job functions are to hire good people, set the strategy, monitor their behaviors, and measure our results. On a “Monday morning”, that means I am usually on the phone or in a meeting or working on a task that involves making decisions on improving our business. Leading people and solving problems consume most of my time. I have essentially no recurring work and nearly every task, every day is unique.

My successes will have little context for you unless you have worked in the fields or industries that I have, so it’s difficult to make those come alive for you. It is similar with the low points. Just know that I have knocked some home runs out of the park and I have absolutely fallen on my face in parts of my career as well.

All of these stories are long and usually funny, so perhaps, we’ll run into each other sometime and I’ll tell some of them. I will share that when you have the highs and the successes, you should absolutely cherish them. Marinate in them (there’s that word again). Feel like those days never want to end. Let yourself get goosebumps on how well you succeeded. During the lows and the failures, make them right beyond your own expectations. Take something away from them that you learned. Remember careers are a long-game. And then let that shit go.

I can attribute my success to hitting the parent lottery, growing up on a farm, great education, eye-opening experiences, mental wiring for problem-solving, and a knack for motivating people. Deeper than that, I attribute my success over time (not as individual) to intense personal reflection. I have always, throughout my career, taken time to think about what is working and what isn’t working for me – and then to do something about it. That process of reflection has accelerated my pathway down the career “funnel”. This reflection has also allowed me always to be learning. Always to be finding new tactics, methods, and strategies I can apply for all kinds of different scenarios throughout my career. I think I have a knack for surfacing and using tactics very well.

As for key role models, I have covered my parents already. Beyond that, I see anyone as a role model who has found the intersection of doing actual work they are good at doing, in an industry of which they are passionate, and have found a way to be well-compensated. This is the sweet spot of a work career when work doesn’t feel like work. Many of us only get one, a few two, and a very rare few get all three. These are the role models for me.

Regarding work-life balance, I have totally blown this one in my past and had to earn my way back into a balance. I never expected my career to involve as much travel as it has but here I am, 20 years into it, and I have logged A LOT of miles. More so than that, for a long time, I carried work with me as a thinking obsession. Maybe even a thinking addiction.

We would need more pages to give this topic the time it deserves but I am in my own personal “recovery”. Some of you will get this instantly and some might get it 10 years from now.

However, I have found the other side of the Venn diagram. I mentioned the concept of “intense personal reflection” previously as a driver of success. As our biggest strengths are also our biggest weaknesses, I needed another side of the coin to balance me. The other side of my Venn diagram that gives me work-life balance is not to give a shit.

I don’t mean that I don’t care, as I care – intensely. What I mean is that I do intense personal reflection, I make some decisions, I take some action – and then I don’t give a shit after that. I let go of control or expectation or wanting or needing some outcome to happen. I let go of the desire for some future event or thing to bring me happiness. Our brains are tools we use for survival but we must put them down when we are done. If we don’t put them down, we aren’t not actually living our lives, we are living our future lives. This is hard as crap to do for me so it is a practice. There are a whole series of tactics below the level of not giving a shit that we also would need more pages to cover adequately. I am putting a lot of effort into this though and it is working. I can feel myself living a few feet above myself.

Mentors are rare. Good mentors are unicorns. The best type of mentors are when you get lucky and have a direct manager who is also a good mentor. These people are like unicorns, riding a unicorn. I have had a few people who have helped me along the way including one or two unicorns riding unicorns. In hindsight, I am deeply appreciative of these people. Their wisdom was a huge accelerant for me personally and professionally.

For me, I enjoy helping others find their way. I enjoy helping others “be okay” with where they are and where they are going. I enjoy helping others take my tactics and experiences and wisdom and do something even better with them than I have. I think I would have been, and perhaps may be at some point in the future, a decent teacher. Part of my enjoyment of passing on wisdom or guidance or experiences is creating efficiency out of inefficiency. Wisdom should be scaled. Knowledge gained from experiences should be scaled. Again, I was taught to care about things and this is one I care about. If I can get scale on the things I have learned with several other people throughout my life, then I am potentially putting a massive accelerant underneath those people. Perhaps then, their experiences and wisdom and knowledge over time far exceeds mine. If they are inclined, they do the same and we are accelerating the advancement of the human state of mind. That is pretty rad.

Sewanee: A Few Years Later

Today's guest blogger is one of my best friends, the wonderfully talented and beautiful Catherine Clifton, and she's writing about one of my favourite places in the world!

Picture taken by Caroline Williams, C'14

“Where’d you go to undergrad?”

“Sewanee: The University of the South.”

“Oh. Cool.”

You have no idea, person who has never seen my mountain views and my Gothic architecture and my black-gowned scholars and my madras sportcoats. “Cool” will suffice if you’ve never heard of Sewanee, but let me educate you, because the love I have for my alma mater just can’t be contained.

Picture a place where it’s entirely possible to meet a new person, but feel like you’ve known them for a good long while. After all, they had that English class with Reishman and his tattered gown that only covers one of his shoulders; they missed the sound of bells over the summer when they went home; they know that Lake Trez is probably radioactive; they’re familiar with Highlanders, Wellingtons, heathens, and lurches; they tap the roof of their car without knowing they’ve moved their hand from the wheel; and they know a girl with a red flower behind her ear will drink them dry of Cuervo.

There are places in the world that people of faith refer to as “thin places”—places where the barrier between God and man is thinner, more transparent. Go to the Cross on a snowy morning. Walk through Abbo’s Alley after a storm, and let the smell of green fill you up until you feel chlorophyll in your veins. Snap your fingers in All Saints’ and wait for the echo from the stone and glass.

Here is the place where abandon is found not only in the fraternity houses but in the classroom and the grandstand. Abandon: to give (oneself) over unrestrainedly. To revel in the moment of discovery, of accomplishment, of fragility, of competition, of young love, of debauchery, of growing pains and growing joys.

Here is the place that teaches all aspects of life. It is not perfect; far from perfect, it is deeply flawed, and it has danger and hurt and conflict and fear. But it brings together people who have felt those feelings and people who have lived in bubbles, and it flings them toward an embrace made of diverse arms and hands. Sewanee holds itself together, and it never lets go. You leave the Holy Mountain. You take your angel with you, and your friends’ phone numbers, and your pictures and T-shirts and bachelor’s degree—but the Mountain keeps you close. Even in the deepest fog, the cornerstone waits and does not move.

Ecce quam bonum et quam iucundum habitare fratres in unum.

Behold how good and joyful a thing it is for brethren to dwell together in unity.

Picture taken by Caroline Williams C'14

To Mr. Metaxas, On the Sewanee Community

Today's guest blog features Lauren Joca, a recent graduate of The University of the South. She wrote an open letter in response to the recent controversy over a speech delivered by an honorary degree recipient at the most recent convocation ceremony held on campus. It certainly deserves a read! 

Dear Mr. Metaxas,

We are all aware of the “controversy” incited by your Convocation address, a student’s response to your address, and your reaction to the student’s response. I hesitate to call it a controversy because it never should have become one. You wrote a speech that I fully suspect you wanted to be controversial. Inasmuch, it did not sit well with certain students and those students voiced their opinions, which you, frankly, encouraged them to do in the first place. The self-serving controversy you have created is deeply upsetting to an alumnus who has had to accept that The University of the South has given an honorary degree to a man who profoundly misunderstands the institution. Your misunderstanding is evidenced by the puerile response you had to a student’s opinion piece and your demand for an apology. While I would very much enjoy going into the hypocrisies of your speech and following actions, I believe those have been well addressed by my fellow alumnae, students, and University faculty. I encourage you to read the wonderfully written open letter penned by Lara Lofdahl, another young alum. I have been working on this letter myself to, hopefully, elucidate the values of The University of the South that you so clearly missed on your visit. I hope that I can help you see why your speech may have offended some, fallen on the deaf ears of others, and ultimately was inappropriate in the context of Convocation. Finally, I hope by now you recognize that you will not receive an apology from the University or from the newspaper because you are not owed one.

Sewanee: The University of the South is many things, not one of which is a close-minded institution, illiberal, and oppressive of free speech. Rather, tucked away on the Cumberland Plateau in rural Tennessee, Sewanee represents a bastion of faith and freedom of expression. The Convocation addresses that came before you have included such varied and influential minds as Desmond Tutu, Wendell Berry, Barbara Bush, Marguerite Kondracke, and Stan Brock. To put it simply, you were in exceptional company. Unfortunately, unlike your speech, their addresses have not been archived. Their words of faith and bravery in action can only be re-lived by those who were there to hear the speeches or through short Sewanee Purple reviews. These speeches did not seem to create such lasting controversy as yours has. This is not surprising at all considering these other speakers simply did not take to social media to disparage students of the University of the South or the University itself. There, sir, you are not in good company.   

One of the most impressive qualities about Sewanee is that it is a strong religious institution, but taught its students moral regard without using overtly religious means. As a freshmen, each and every student must sign the Honor Code. The punishment for failing to follow the Honor Code was expulsion. Classes were often discussion based with students graded on their participation. In this setting, we learned the skills of civil discourse and respect for opposing views in a well-constructed argument. The Passing Hello and Save Sewanee exclamation encouraged connection with your community, even if brief. We showed our professors respect through attendance and practicing class dress. We learned tolerance through hosting a myriad of organizations including Sustain Sewanee, the Gender and Sexual Diversity House, College Republicans, College Democrats, Beyond Sewanee, and the Posse-Plus Retreat. The carillon bells on Sunday never felt like ominous reminders that I was falling short on my faith by spending my afternoon in Shakerag Hollow, the ATC, or even on a couch outside with an adult beverage because the world had finally thawed. In Sewanee, that is something worth celebrating. No, in Sewanee, falling short on my treatment of the community felt much more like falling short on faith.

All this is not to say that people at Sewanee were not devout or felt uncomfortable expressing their devotion. It was almost a guarantee to have a class with a sacristan or a choir member. Students bore Ash Wednesday marks without worry. Lessons and Carols was one of the most popular and heavily-attended events in the community. Before this celebration, the Sewanee community, including students, worked together to decorate All Saint’s Chapel. If students were of another denomination or faith, they often travelled together to different churches or temples in the area. We explored faith together by participating in Growing in Grace. Our Outreach Office was housed within All Saint’s Chapel and practiced faith-based service.

For all of these reasons, I find fault with many of the sentiments you have supported on your Facebook page suggesting that we are a faith-fearing community, skittish around the mention of Jesus. I cannot assure you more that this is far from the truth. Where people may find fault with your speech in All Saint’s Chapel is using their religion to support intolerant ideas. While you are correct that we must be open to hearing opposing views, that opposition is necessary in open discourse, and speech must remain a protected freedom, we have no duty to be tolerant of the intolerant. Martin Luther King, Jr. felt that way, as did Rosa Parks and Jackie Robinson. Their faith gave them the courage to fight against injustice. Indeed in Letter from a Birmingham Jail, King states, “One may well ask, ‘How can you advocate breaking some laws and obeying others?’ The answer is found in the fact that there are two types of laws: there are just laws, and there are unjust laws. I would agree with St. Augustine that ‘An unjust law is no law at all.’" To suggest that, “there is a particular move afoot on campuses and elsewhere to marginalize and even to demonize voices of traditional and historic Christian faith. That’s one of the big issues of our time,” is to seriously misinterpret these movements. In 1964, when some were interpreting the Bible to justify segregation, the exemplary basketball coach Dean Smith sought the guidance of his pastor to integrate Chapel Hill. Furthermore, I point you to the Moral Monday movement in North Carolina led by Reverend William Barber. He is not demonizing traditional Christian faith, he is fighting against hate, injustice, and disenfranchisement. We on Sewanee’s campus do not tolerate these either, nor do we accept these as precepts of traditional and historic Christian faith.

While I recognize that I will not change your own personal beliefs with my remarks, I feel it necessary to show you the faith that Sewanee taught me. It is a faith based in compassion. You say we should hear stories of women who regret their abortions. I agree, I think these women can teach us where we as a society have fallen short. I ask her, why was she so devastated by it? Was it a decision she felt forced into by the other parent? When she shared her decision, was she met with vitriol from friends, family, or her community? Was she forced to face the procedure alone? Did anyone tell her that they understand what she did and why she did it? That they understand, at that moment in time, it was the best decision she could have made for herself, and perhaps even the unborn? In the case of this deeply personal and difficult decision, we must hear, with a compassionate ear, all stories. Perhaps asking whether someone is in favor of marriage equality shuts down the conversation because it is meant to. Is it not prideful of man to assume they can interpret fully the word of God? Is it not ultimately up to Him how we will be judged? Why then should we prevent His children from experiencing, one of the greatest gifts He ever gave us, love?

I will not, of course, pretend that Sewanee is perfect. I have known students that felt slighted by the actions the University has taken on sensitive matters. I, personally, have been stuck in an unsavory position because the University mishandled a student conflict. When these things have happened, what did I do? What did other students do? I felt comfortable expressing my frustrations to a Dean and passing responsibility back to the University. Others formed protests and made clearly visible their own criticisms of the institution. One of the most celebrated events at Sewanee in recent years is The Sewanee Monologues. A prime example of freedom of expression that gives students the chance to discuss drinking and partying at Sewanee, the sexism found on campus, racism, body image, and even the hook-up culture. I assure you that the monologues written about these issues have rarely been celebratory and have introduced critical discussions about human relations on Sewanee’s campus. In short, Sewanee has its problems, but rarely are they shied away from. I have the inclination that when Sewanee makes a mistake, everyone, from the administration to the faculty to the students, is aware of it and feels free to discuss it in any medium they choose, no matter what side they have taken.

I had hoped that someone receiving an honorary degree from my alma mater would feel just that- honored. It is an honor to hold a degree from the University of the South. It is an honor to be a part of such a tight-knit community. It is an honor to have been able to experience the Mountain, learn on the Mountain, and grow on the Mountain. I hope now that you realize why your message may not have been well received, but, more than that, I hope you understand why it was criticized in our paper and why you will not receive an apology for it. Your actions since receiving a degree from The University of the South have insulted current students, past students, and the institution I hold dear. I hope you reflect on these actions and come to understand what makes Sewanee such an exceptional example of liberal arts education in the United States. It deserves your respect. Yea, Sewanee’s right.

Sincerely,

Lauren Joca, Class of 2013

Cognitive Shift: An Expert's Take

Dr. Sherry Hamby is a Research Professor of Psychology at Sewanee, and is the founding editor of the APA journal, Psychology of Violence. I was fortunate enough to take some classes with her while I was at Sewanee, and absolutely loved them. I reached out to her to ask her to write guest blog from her angle about an article I posted a while ago:

Cognitive Shift

Here's what Dr. Hamby has to say:

Roshni's blog has many good insights about the challenges of emotional regulation and learning to focus on the positive.  These are challenges that all of face.  There are three main areas that help us deal with adversity and achieve the sort of well-being and happiness that everyone wants:  self-regulation, interpersonal relationships, and meaning making, which can be spiritual or religious but does not have to be. 

We've identified some key skills in each of these areas.  Some of them are the same ones that Roshni has identified too—emotional awareness and emotional regulation are two of the most important strengths for mental health and well-being.  It is ok to feel upset and angry—we all do sometimes—but it is also important to recognize those feelings and make conscious choices about when and how to act on them.  Endurance is another important regulatory skill—the ability to keep going even when things are tough.  In the interpersonal domain it is important to develop compassion and empathy, to figure out ways to give back to others, and to find a supportive community. In the meaning making domain, the optimism that Roshni describes is important.  So is finding a purpose in life and getting involved in something bigger than yourself, whether through church or elsewhere. 

How do you get better at these strengths?  We recommend expressive writing—even a few sessions writing about your experiences can help you better understand them.  This helps with purpose and emotional regulation.  Learning a few skills in meditation and mindfulness can also help with emotional awareness and compassion.  Volunteering helps the volunteers probably as much as it helps the recipients of volunteer efforts.  Even basic things like regular exercise can help strengthen many of these characteristics.  Recent data suggests exercise is about as effective as many other treatments for depression.

So, take Roshni's advice to heart.  We all have difficult experiences but we can still work toward greater well-being and happiness. 

What a Liberal Arts Education Taught Me

This was something that was compiled by a friend and myself earlier this year, and it needed sharing. A lot of these seem Sewanee specific (and are), but are definitely applicable to most! Feel free to comment if there's anything you'd like to add!

- Infinity comes in many sizes.

- Question EVERYTHING. (Every class, especially Philosophy, Psychology and surprisingly, Spanish).

- Some answers don’t exist: that’s not the point. The question is what matters.

- Things fit together in strange ways; look for patterns and overarching themes.

- School has taught you wrong before, but that’s ok. Relearning is good for you.

- If you don’t do it yourself, it’ll never mean anything.

- Some textbooks are worth holding on to.

- “It’s a required course, not in my major” is NO excuse. It’s an opportunity.

- Go to Career Services.

- You might not win, but you should have learned something at the very least.

- Network!

- You did not do all this work just to be a waitress.

- Celebrate with friends and ALWAYS have a token to remember it.

- Misery is a great equalizer. Bond over it, and suddenly the bad places are full of great memories.

- Make do (especially in dorm kitchens).

- Procrastinating and taking the easy way out is fine if it works for you, but don’t be surprised when it bites you in the ass. And DO NOT complain. It’s your fault.

- The friends you make freshmen year aren't necessarily going to be your best friends forever.

- Sometimes the previous statement is (THANKFULLY) false.

- Say hi to people in the halls and on the sidewalk and in line at Clurg (our dining hall). It’s actually LESS awkward than not saying hi (especially if it’s the same person multiple times a day for 4 years straight) and it can lead to some new friends.

- Knock on doors and come in if they say so, even if you don’t know them. It might end well.

- Everyone could be your friend. Just start with the assumption that they are, and act accordingly.

- If you plan to sell back your textbooks, do it ASAP. Not 3 years later.

- SAVE EVERYTHING. Constantly. On flash drives. And in the cloud. Not just papers, either! Pictures too! And save papers for longer than the semester. You might want those poems one day. And you never know when someone will want to see what you did while in college.

-Read the University’s emails.

- Empty your inbox!

- Spend at least one break on campus. Then appreciate every chance you get to go home even more.

- Take a break with friends!

- Use your summers wisely.

- Go on the SOP trips, try community service (even if you don’t have to).

-Seemingly random events usually have delicious food (that's free) and awesome people you may never meet otherwise.

- Do Homecoming stuff. Every year.

- The book store is a rip-off. But it’s always got your back.

- Get a lightweight, durable laptop that you can fit in your bag, carry around all day, and has a long enough battery to last through 3 classes.

- Make study guides.

- Make friends with Res Life, dorm staff, custodians, repairmen, etc.

- Throw out trash on thursdays so it doesn't sit in the hall from Friday to Monday, stinking the place up!

- Write notes in your textbooks and DIRECTLY onto the handouts teachers give you.

- Not all handouts are worth holding on to.

- Always have a liner in the trashcan. Trust me.

- It’s ok if midnight (or later) is your best time for getting homework done as long as you spend the rest of the day being equally productive.

- Cool names for classes can be deceiving.

- When you rip your pants, everyone will remember. Let's hope they’re friends.

-Don't be afraid to look for friendship within yourself.

-Wine is the best.

-Hold on to family and remember that they’re important.

-Rejoice over the friends who've stayed with you for years and years; but let go of those it’s time to move on from.

-Love is hard, and difficult to let go of.

-It IS possible to have a platonic male friend!!!!

-The most challenging courses will be the most rewarding.

-Sometimes, it’s okay to get a B.

-It’s absolutely worth it to help someone smile through their tears.

-When a friend is going through a hard time, you may not know what to do, but the important thing is them knowing that you love them.

-It’s amazing knowing that something that has the potential to turn into a huge fight can turn into something that makes friends closer.

-Sometimes, you can’t be mad at those you love even if you try.

-Go to events without your friends! You’ll be surprised at what you find.

-Stirling’s (a coffeehouse on the Sewanee campus), and all that happens there, will be a constant in everyone's memories for years to come.

-Sometimes, friends go crazy and splash in puddles. THAT’S OKAY! Just make sure to help them dry off later so they don’t fall sick.

-Sometimes, friends go crazy and take it out on you. THAT’S OKAY TOO! They wouldn’t show that side to you if they didn’t love you, and it’ll give both of you a healthier appreciation of yourself.

-You CAN actually cook!

-But often, your friends can cook better.

-Sometimes, the people you weren't as close to at the beginning will become your best of friends.

-And sometimes, the people you hit it off with at the beginning will be the best of friends too!

-Sometimes, it’s okay not to be friends with someone. Relationships need to be founded on genuinity, and it’s fine not to force it.

-Being the bigger person is definitely worth it.

-Certain schools of thought believe that we imagine the world…

-Don’t be lazy...really, don’t.

-Gift giving can be SO rewarding.

-Don’t stretch yourself thin….you’ll break down at the worst times possible.

-Everyone is beautiful in their own way.

-People will be creepers from time to time. 

-Just because people are crazy as heck doesn't mean that we can't love them.

-Senior year goes by really, really fast; make sure to enjoy every moment and take LOTS of pictures!

-Make sure to explore the area outside your campus; there are probably lots of cool places you might've never known existed!

-Don't be afraid to ask your professors for help. They're there to help, and will appreciate you making an effort.

-Push yourself out of your comfort zone. It'll be scary at first, but definitely worth it!

-Internships are more important than you'd ever imagine.

-Following your dreams is the best goal there is...but you have to learn practical skills to get there.

-If you tell your professor you're sick, don't offer to babysit for them the next day.

-Get to know the people who're in years above and below you. Friendship does not need to be restricted to the people in your year alone.

-Remember; you can't skip a class when the professor is your neighbour and always goes to the dining hall.

-Liberal arts applies to one's entire existence of the world and all of the accumulated, general knowledge leading up to your time. Do not scorn any class because someone had to discover and produce the knowledge you are learning!

-Also, just because you're a "college student" doesn't mean you're not a kid, or that you should take yourself too seriously. You have to learn to let the kid in yourself out, and be young, and occasionally not make the most responsible decisions. This coming from a fairly straight-laced person: you are a college student. Make a few bad (or at least, unforeseen) choices!