Onwards: Interview with Amandla Ooko-Ombaka (part 2)

If you haven't yet checked out part 1 of this interview - find it here!

I’ve always been impressed by Amandla’s boundless energy – in the face of adversity when most of us would shy away, she boldly looks a problem in the face and says ‘try me’.

Amandla is a young Kenyan woman who describes herself as having ‘a public sector heart, a private sector mind, and a passion for getting things done.’ She is interested in spending her most productive years doing her part to help Kenya become the thriving democracy her father envisioned, and being a fierce and loyal supporter of all her friends who’re trying to change the world. If she were to choose three words to describe herself they would be: caring, hardworking AF, and persistent.

She also confesses that she has an unhealthy obsession with gummy bears, and her happy place is Watamu on the Kenyan coast – she just needs coconut water, a book, and the sound of the ocean waves to be at peace.

She believes that in life, she has to be her own biggest cheerleader and hype herself up – hence the boundless energy! If she won’t do it – who else will? As she puts it:

“There are too many enemies of progress in life for me to be in my own way. Also, more practically, if going to get out of bed at all (and some days I just stay in bed and phone in because I’m human), I better put my best high-heeled foot forward and SLAY.”

Among some of Amandla’s innumerable successes, two stand out. The first was her siblings’ graduation. She made them both promises that she would do her absolute best to make sure they had access to all the opportunities they would have had to complete their college educations had their parents been alive. Watching both of them graduate with honours (and as mini-celebrities) from school has easily been the proudest moment of her life!

The second happened more recently – the agriculture strategy she led has formally moved forward for implementation. Her team and her gave everything to the project, and the potential for it to impact millions of farmers and >25% of the GDP of the country is humbling. As she puts it, “it’s not a slam dunk yet because the proof is in implementation, but we’ve supported this process as far as we can without being in government. Maybe it’s a sign that I should be in government 🤣"

Amandla is a role model and inspiration to many, so it was only natural that I ask who hers have been! She listed a few who, as she put it, serve inspiration for breakfast:

• My grandma is the real OG. Her steadfastness, shade throwing, and zero tolerance for anything but our best has been a rock for our family and the many women and men she gave life to
• My mom, if I can be half the woman she was...I’m done. Also, I was born 5 days after her wedding in her 30s, and she went back to work two months after. She constantly showed us that it was possible to have what you prioritised in life
• My younger sister who takes self-care, wellness and treating her body and mind with such kindness. She also wakes up like clockwork everyday around 5am to work out without an alarm, and is in the office by 7am. #Lifegoals
• The Council of Stateswomen...they are the real squad. And thriving right now in our 30s as a collective. I love these women

Reflecting a bit on being a role model and the learnings that emerged, Amandla shared the following, and commented that living her life the best way she knows how can be an example to anyone at all is all the more reason to keep grabbing life by the horns:

• Listen and ask good questions - I never try to make decisions or pretend to know what is best for anyone else. I can only offer my relevant lived experience and a sound board for folks to work things out.
• Women in particular that I try and mentor are much harder on themselves than the guys in general, and are less willing to take a big bet on themselves. Some of the jobs I see guys apply for (one particularly intrepid young Lagosian man I met wanted to apply directly to be a Partner at McKinsey from undergrad - usually a position one is qualified for about 6 years after graduate school)... I want all my ladies out there to have even half the boldness. We are often qualified many times over... be your own best cheerleader / hype woman.

 The 4 most important principles Amandla believes a leader should live by: 

1. Integrity and a firm moral code: I need to be able to level up with myself every day and be accountable to the team I am serving. One of my professors, Clay Christensen, always says it is easier to stick to your values 100% of the time than 98% of the time. And it’s so true... how often have you done one small thing and told yourself only this once, and then all of a sudden you can’t remember the last time you didn’t eat a packet of gummy bears a day?
2. Authenticity: Leadership is not a role or title I can put on and take off when it suits me. It is something I have to practice and live by every day, it’s the only way to get better.
3. Servant leadership: My father epitomised this for me, particularly in public service. It’s not about me. It’s about the people I am serving and the work that has to be done.
4. Empathy: Human beings are complex. Everyone comes to work or school or the grocery store with their own burdens to bear. If I can’t connect on some fundamental level with each person I interact with, how can I do service to the challenges that keep them awake at night? My sister likes to joke that she wishes she could just deal with soil samples all day, they don’t talk back 🤣. But even then, to be a leader in her environmental research she has to connect with and see things from the perspective of the earth, literally

The best advice Amandla’s ever been given is 1) Ask for forgiveness, not permission. Just do it if you can stand by your decision, and the rest will follow and 2) Have a voice, don’t be a brand.

Amandla plans everything to a T so she can orient herself in ‘this crazy thing called life’, but does mention that some of the most memorable and fun experiences of her life were unplanned (note to self!):

“Moving to Lagos for work when I was 23 without having visited West Africa before, the most magical and spontaneous 10 hr date I’ve ever been on with a very good looking man I dated for a while, randomly entering a dance competition on Saint Patrick’s day in Addis Ababa (even more random) and winning my favourite piece of art ever...”

Let’s just say Amandla got a sudden million dollars, hers to do with as she pleases, no questions asked. What would be the top 3 to 5 things she would prioritise and why?

1. Immediately put half of it into an investment vehicle so it keeps working for me
2. Pay off any big debts of the family members and friends who took us into their homes when our parents died, and shared what they had
3. Take my extended family on an awesome vacation to Watamu
4. Revive the spirit of the Education Trust that my mother tried to start. It doesn’t have to be my own organization or anything. Perhaps a scholarship at Kenya High School in her name to educate more female scientists and doctors from high school to grad school, and some sort of fellowship in my fathers name for young Kenyans who want to run for office and need mentorship, coaching, and strategic advice on running campaigns
5. All the rest I’d donate to the Katiba Institute, a non-profit to help implement our constitution and empower all Kenyans to know their constitutional rights

If she was invited to give a TED talk, what would it be about? I’d take the TED-style talk I gave in grad school to the next level… “Yes, African: Breaking through mental barriers to Africa development”. 

While no single narrative defines the continent, countries in Africa share similar barriers to reaching our visions of prosperity. I’ split these barriers into two broad categories – hardware and software. Hardware is as all the ‘technical’ stuff that we know how to address e.g., utilities. More than 60% of Sub-Saharan Africans lack access to electricity. The grossly simplified answer to this challenge is to build more power plants.

Software is a more nuanced concept. It is an attitude, a state of heart and mind. Software is the attitude that led Kenyan bankers to dream and launch M-Akiba, the world’s first e-Treasury bill that allows ordinary citizens to purchase government bonds directly from their mobile phones, imagine that…

You have to wait for the TED talk to get all the goodies, but I used the talk to lay out 3 ways to break through these “software” barriers…

What are the top 3 books she recommends to others?

1. Homegoing by Yaa Gyasi: heart-breaking, a fiction novel, but an incredible call to action to know where we come from
2. The Diving Bell and the Butterfly by Jean-Dominique Bauby: he wrote this entire book by blinking one letter at a time
3. Immunity to Change by Robert Kegan: it’s holding up a mirror to why we continue to make decisions not in our best interests. Essential reading for leading teams

Amandla believes her biggest source of strength comes from her belief in God – many events in her life could have had wildly different outcomes, and she believes that there definitely is a higher power looking out for her. She struggles with institutionalised religion a lot because of how it is so often corrupted by people to do pure evil (from her own experience in intolerant Christian Churches, Nadia Murad’s experience as a Yazidi with extremist Islam). But her current Pastor Pete Odera (see a snippet of an old interview she did with him here during one of her summer internships: https://vimeo.com/133440516) is teaching her to question and believe at the same time.

Also, it helps just knowing that most things in life are surmountable, as long as you’re alive. Amandla has an incredible family and group of friends who’ve lived through a lot together.

Does Amandla have any success rituals she swears by?
Getting really razor focused, and being honest with myself - if I really prepped for it (did all the studying, got in all my long runs while training for my marathon...), I trust that the practice will kick in. If I haven’t put in the work, I hope for luck but level set my expectations.

Depending on the time of day and how much time I have before the moment, I’ll go for a run, meditate, or blast Beyoncé’s Formation and Flawless on repeat.

If she could have a dinner party and invite any three people, dead or alive, who would they be?

Mom, Dad and my Aunt Barb who I hope are all really proud of the young adults that my siblings and I have become. It would be a dinner full of love, hugs and real talk

Onwards: Interview with Amandla Ooko-Ombaka (part 1)

Amandla Ooko-Ombaka. Where do I start? Those who know her know that she’s a force of nature, a whirlwind of energy and inspiration, and an amazing colleague. I love being surrounded by amazing women at work who’re intelligent and hardworking, and Amandla is certainly one of those. Is it any wonder that I decided an interview with her HAD to be done? Amandla, to me, truly embodies the values of resilience, persistence, and hard-work. After reading this, I hope you’ll see why!

When speaking about her family and growing up, Amandla uses the words ‘full of laughter, travel, SO MANY COUSINS (40 first cousins!), and lots of activities’.

The laughter and travel she attributes to her dad, who was the ‘most serious jester’. Growing up a daddy’s girl, she witnessed his seriousness at work, as an MP in Kenya’s first multiparty election in the nineties – she’d drive upcountry with him quite often while he was campaigning.

By day, however, he was a lawyer willing to take on the ruling party of the day. Case in point? He represented Nobel Laureate Wangari Maathai in her landmark case against Kenya Times Media Trust, and the Ominde clan in the Ouko murder trial. He faced a number of attempts on his life in his line of work, upto and including his final big project – co-leading the team that wrote the current Kenyan constitution. However, to his credit, he managed to prevent these stresses from invading his home environment, coming home, throwing his kids on his back and belting out an old school Luo rhyme about a donkey reaching Yala, tickling them till they cried.

The cousins and activities she attribute to her mum who ‘didn’t play’ – according to her, family and excellence (including applying yourself fully to everything you tried) were non-negotiable. Amandla remembers many a Saturday afternoon at her grandma’s house playing around with her cousins – but only after cleaning the house in the morning, hopping on a matatu to town for her dance classes, and finishing her math homework!

For the first few years of their childhoods (Amandla has a younger sister and brother), their mum was the head of the OBGYN department at Kenyatta National Hospital. If Amandla wanted to go to dance class while mum was at work – well, she found her own way there. Her mum was very clear, she and her husband had a driver, Amandla did not 😉

Her parents were very supportive. There were no expectations of their kids having to follow in their professional footsteps. Amandla dropped Biology after standard 8 – so that ruled out medicine. She fell in love with Physics and Mathematics in high school – so that ruled out law. However, she’s clear on the fact that she still wants to run for office one day like her dad (and those of us who know her know she’d be great at it!) – she remembers writing an essay in standard 2 saying that she wanted to be the President of Kenya. True to their expectations, her parents would often remind her of this audacious (or so she says…) dream by asking her what she was doing to prepare – that too, was a job!

Baby Amandla started off at Madari Kindergarten (I’m an alumna too!!), before becoming a proud Msongari girl then heading to Brookhouse for her O-levels. She left Kenya at 15 for boarding school in the UK to do IB. She’s always been a self-professed nerd – she latched onto Maths in high school, which turned into Economics and Mathematics at Yale University for her undergrad, which then led to Development Economics and an MBA at Harvard for grad school (note to young readers out there: Maths is good! And not something to be afraid of.).

Amandla describes her Yale experience as life-changing. Her dad passed away just before she started IB and her mum just before she applied to college. Many people told her she should move home after IB and reset her expectations – after all, college abroad was too expensive. She was terrified about the application process itself; her mum had read and edited every important essay she’d ever written so far – how was she going to apply without her? How was she going to even afford college? What about her two younger siblings? Their parents had always said that their education was the only thing that couldn’t be taken away from them – what sort of example would she be setting for her siblings if she compromised then?

And so, she didn’t. Going to college so far away from home provided a hard shot of realism for Amandla. It was the first time she truly struggled at school; her freshman year grades needed an academic intervention. She was grieving, and not dealing with it very well. On top of that, it was very clear that there was always someone more (...insert word here!) than her in her classes.

To compound issues, while she was on full academic financial aid, her room and board were taxed. She lived off Ramen noodles for weeks at a time and volunteered for all kinds of ‘free Psychology studies’ to make ends meet – in between her two on-campus jobs.

Amandla was looking for full-time employment when the 2008 financial crisis hit; all of a sudden, the jobs that she had been setting up for herself since freshman year that would pay her enough to help her siblings through college evaporated. Companies courting her to join investment banks couldn’t guarantee visas for her to stay after school.

At this point, Amandla leaned hard into the incredible support network of her college friends – a particular group of three other African women she met at Yale, who call themselves the ‘Council of Stateswomen’ – and applied for every single scholarship and fellowship opportunity available. She stayed in the computer lab for four days straight once because her laptop broke and she couldn’t afford to fix it before applications were due (it was much cheaper to fix in a town four hours away by bus – but she didn’t have the fare or the eight hours to spend not working on applications).

Luckily, everything worked out at the end. When looking back at 21-year old Amandla, she is incredibly proud of the strong and resourceful woman that Yale helped her become. She’s also extremely grateful for the eye-opening experiences it provided. As part of a Yale delegation, she was an election monitor for the 2007 Kenyan elections. They were in Kibera when Raila Odinga arrived with Fred Gumo and couldn’t find his name on the voters’ register… a rock hit the window above her head soon after this news spread – but she tells us that’s a story for another day. She knows many Kenyans smarter and harder working than her, who similarly lost their parents while quite young, but did not have access to the opportunities that Yale afforded her.

Currently, Amandla is an Engagement Manager at McKinsey’s Nairobi office, affiliated with the Agriculture and Food practices – a role she simultaneously describes as the ‘most exhilarating and stressful job’ she’s ever had. Her job is to hold the complex spiderweb of a project together, and make sure that her team delivers the best answer possible for some of the most complex problems faced by their clients.

This team includes the 3-4 analysts and associates she directly coaches and supervises, 2-3 partners who provide deep expertise, and countless other incredible McKinsey gurus in research, analytics, visual graphics, etc., that help deliver for clients.

Recent problems she’s worked on include 1) writing a national agriculture strategy for an African government and 2) helping a global food manufacturer figure out how to triple their revenues in Africa and further localise their business model.

Nick Ndeda: The Person behind the Persona (part 2)

I hope you all enjoyed getting to know more about our favourite radio personality in my previous post. Without further ado, here’s the next part of this!

When asked who Nick Ndeda is, his answer was very simple - an artist. Over the many years that I listened to his show, I always admired the fact that he’s always had great rapport with and empathy for your listeners, and had to ask where this came from:

Thank you. I think it stems from the fact that I love listening to people. I like hearing how they articulate/express themselves (something I also selfishly use for my acting) and also, given the fact that I am the one who controls the show and thus have unlimited airtime (so to speak), I realise the importance of gravity of a listener getting some time to shine.

Nick attributes his key successes (professional and otherwise) to discipline.

Discipline. It’s got very little to do with talent. We are not special as professionals, it is what we do that is special. So I worked damn hard preparing and practicing, so that when it’s time to go on air/stage/set it looks easy. It’s all about discipline. And practice. That’s what makes Cristiano Ronaldo Cristiano Ronaldo you know!!

In terms of role models, in life, Nick looks to his parents and siblings due to their belief in being good people, doing good to others, and always putting in 100% in whatever you do.

Career wise, Nick thinks Ryan Seacrest is very good at radio and TV presenting. Vis-à-vis acting; Leonardo DiCaprio, Denzel Washington, Audrey Hepburn, Cate Blanchett, Kate Winslet, Hlomla Dandala, Moshidi Motshegwa, Emily Watson… he could go on and on!

Speaking of role models… Nick has been one to many over the years. Reflecting on this, he observes  “that everyone is afraid of their dreams and that’s ok. I get the reason why. It could all blow up in your face and you end up looking like an idiot. Embarrassment is up there next to crucifixion when it comes to things we as humans fear I’d like to think. So, I always try my best to show that the risk is worth it. It may not go as planned (as life always seems to be) but it’s worth giving a shot.”

Journeys always come with surprises, and when asked about his, Nick remarks that he didn’t expect to be on radio for so long, much less end up assisting in production and other spheres such as presenter training! In his words, “However, to see Mwalimu Rachel (NRG Radio), Ciru Muriuki (BBC) and Amina Abdi Rabar (NTV/Capital FM) shining as bright as they do, then that’s great pat on the back for me!”

Emceeing and voice over work were also things he had never envisioned doing, but that he now loves, in Also, emceeing and voice over work was stuff I had never envisioned doing but I do it now and love it. He also mentioned writing movie and theatre scripts as pleasant surprise additions to his CV.

What are the three most important principles Nick believes a leader should live by?
Being an example

Being disciplined

Correcting by not condemning

Three words Nick would choose to describe himself
Artsy. Disciplined. Brilliant.

What’s the best advice someone ever gave Nick?
“If it ain’t fun, run!”

My former director Neil Schell from the TV series “Higher Learning” once told me this on set and I have never forgotten this gem. Real talk!

Let’s just say Nick got a sudden million dollars, his to do with as he pleases, no questions asked. What would be the top three to five things he would prioritise, and why?
1. Build a HUGE house because I need the space for my cats, future dogs, future birds, fish and turtle

2. Build a house for my parents and my wife’s parents because parents!

3. A pair of shoes for every day of the month (at least 50 pairs)

4. Trips to islands because I love me a beach

5. The rest of it I would put into making movies because Kenyan movies are always lacking in the budget department

If Nick was invited to give a TED talk, what would it be about?
It would be called “Do what the fuck you want, as long as it's legal”, and it would be about listening to your inner voice. It’s never wrong and when you calm the noise outside and listen keenly - all the answers are there. Thank you for coming to my TED talk!

What are the top three books Nick recommends to others?
1. The Power of Your Subconscious Mind by Joseph Murphy

2. The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle

3. Needful Things by Stephen King

What is Nick’s biggest source of strength?
Belief in myself. If I can see myself do it in my mind, then I can execute it perfectly in the “real world”.

Does he have any success rituals he swears by?
Meditation

Affirmations

Writing down goals for the day each morning

Giving myself pep talks!

If you could have a dinner party and invite any three people, dead or alive, who would they be?
Marilyn Monroe

Kanye West

Bob Marley

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Nick Ndeda: The Person behind the Persona (part 1)

For those of you who aren’t familiar with Nick Ndeda, I should give some background. Nick was a presenter on my favourite radio channel, X FM, and I’m a huge fan. His morning show coincided nicely with my morning commute to work for many years, and I absolutely loved listening! He combined some great music with a genuine connection to and empathy for his audience – many a morning found me venting to his breakfast show WhatsApp about traffic (often) and humanity (sometimes).

Unfortunately, circumstances meant that Nick had to leave his morning show to move to an afternoon show within the same radio network (you’d better believe this was a huge shock and disappointment to all his loyal fans!) I decided to take the opportunity to ask for an interview – and I definitely fangirled HARD when he said yes!

Nick’s early background
Nick grew up in a small nuclear family of three brothers and their parents. He describes his eldest brother Jeremy as being the brightest academically, along with being a school captain, leading to a lot of “Why can’t you be more like your brother Jeremy?” as he grew up.

His second-born brother, Innocent, is a whizz at anything mechanical or computer-oriented – as a result of which, he became the go-to kid for fixing anything electrical. Nick observes that his parents were always stunned by Innocent’s skillset – and rightfully so! He went on to become one of the youngest systems administrators for a huge bank when he was just 28.

Nick, being the last born out of three (much like myself!), found himself with perfect examples to sculpt his aspirations. Their greatest link as brothers, though, ended up being the fact that they all had artistic inclinations. As Nick says, “Jeremy was a dope rapper and writer – he went on to become a really cool radio presenter till the day he died; Innocent can draw, paint, and rap; and I loved acting and generally performing in front of an audience (despite my obviously shy demeanor as a child!).”

Their parents encouraged all of them to follow what they loved, which is how Nick ended up pursuing a career as an actor before radio came calling.

Nick’s (formal) education
After finishing high school, Nick wanted to get into acting, and his parents agreed to give him a year to go after his dreams – with one caveat. If he was unable to find work as an actor (after all, he was only 19 and in Kenya), he would join university. He spent that entire year going for auditions and failing every single one.

Finally, his year off came to an end, and time came to apply for admission. Coincidentally, on the same day he submitted his admission forms, he auditioned for a play and won the part.

After that first play, directors and fellow actors began recommending him and his acting career begin to take off.

He did still go to uni though, where he pursued a double major in Journalism and Psychology and minored in Spanish and Industrial Psychology (phew!!)! After all… the forms had been filled, and the admission fee paid!

When I asked Nick how (or even if) his education prepared him for the real world, Nick said:

At the beginning of my third year on campus, my eldest brother Jeremy, asked me to accompany him for a radio presenter audition. While there, I was convinced to try it out myself and I got the job! Working on radio whilst learning about it in theory in class worked to my advantage. I was able to have “work experience” as I learnt and this helped me wash away the BS that can sometimes cloud your mind when you are only confined to books, libraries and lecturers when it comes to your opinion of the workforce as well as the workforce environment.

Nick’s work background
As far as radio is concerned, Nick started at Homeboyz Radio in 2007 where he was the stand-in Breakfast Show host, as well as host for a daily interview-oriented show about youth empowerment. After leaving Homeboyz, Nick joined Hot 96 in 2010, where he not only became the youngest breakfast show presenter EVER in Kenya (he was 25!), but he was also the Deputy Programmes Controller (yes, at 25!).

He took a short break from radio in late 2011 to late 2012, in order to do some acting out of the country, and then moved to XFM in 2012 where he hosted the breakfast show for 7 years until the station was closed in early 2019 (moment of silence, please).

In acting, Nick has had the honour of acting in over 50 plays since his stage debut back in 2005. He has played supporting roles in huge TV shows like ‘Jacob’s Cross’ (M Net), a popular South African series in 2012. He played a lead role in a local TV series, ‘Higher Learning’ (NTV) in 2010, a lead role in the MTV series ‘Shuga’ in 2012, and most recently, played the lead role in the critically acclaimed movie ’18 Hours’, which won best movie in Africa last year (!!!) at the Africa Magic Viewers Choice Awards.

His latest venture is playing a supporting role in the popular telenovela ‘Selina’ (Maisha Magic East).

Currently, Nick is an afternoon drive-time show host on Kiss 100 FM. He got there because they closed the station he was at, but the station’s parent company (Radio Africa Group) decided to ship his talents to another one of their stations (I hear fans breathing a collective sigh of relief).

Acting wise, all Nick told me that he’s looking forward to his next project (contracts don’t allow him to say much, much to our dismay!)

I asked Nick about what roles he previously played that he enjoyed.

1) On radio, hosting XBRKFST on XFM was a dream come true because I always wanted to work in that station and when you dream hard enough, and keep the faith, it always manifests.

2) On stage, I absolutely loved playing the role of “Henry” in a play called “Freefall” It was a tough character to muster, and the physical transformation made me love it even more. I had to put on a shave that made me look 10 years older and adapting mannerisms that were so unlike me in person. I mean, isn’t that what makes acting awesome?!

3) On screen, it has to be the role of “Angelo” on MTV Shuga. I got to show off my rapping skills (yeah, I rap too just like my brothers, because we listened to a lot of great hip hop growing up).

We’re not quite done yet! Stay tuned for part 2 where we’ll get to know Nick a little better.

Light Fire from the Spark: Rohan Gandhi

"When you are at rock bottom, the only way to move is up."

These are words we've all probably heard at one point or another - but how many of us have actually lived them? Meet Rohan Gandhi...

Growing up, Rohan had dreamed of becoming a pilot. He had a passion for cars and planes, a passion that guided him to becoming a mechanical engineer. Aside from his professional aspiration, he also wanted to box professionally. While growing up, he was a victim of bullying, and was able to overcome an inferiority complex after he was inspired by the Rocky Balboa movies.

Sounds like a story many of us can relate to, right?

The 12th of February, 2004, was just another day in 16 year old Rohan's life - or so he thought. Who knew that a short span of 20 minutes would end up changing his life forever?

A spinal cord infarction is "a stroke either within the spinal cord or the arteries that supply it. It is caused by arteriosclerosis or a thickening or closing of the major arteries to the spinal cord." 

Sounds like a medical definition that we may encounter at a doctor's office and move past - but for Rohan it was a reality that left him paralysed from the waist down in the presence of his peers. As he puts it, "everyone went to school the next day... I didn't."

Unfortunately, for this particular condition, and indeed many other spinal cord injuries in general, there is no real medication or guaranteed form of treatment available. However, there are support services available for rehabilitation at the National Spinal Injury Hospital and a large amount of resources available through the National Council for People with Disabilities. Aside from physical therapy, these bodies also advise and counsel individuals who suffer from depression or low self-esteem as a result of such injuries. 

When the reality of his condition dawned on him, Rohan found himself feeling overwhelmed and confused. Everyone is afraid of that which they cannot understand, and he was no different. On top of adapting to new circumstances, Rohan also experienced a lack of self-confidence compounded by the resulting obesity. He was afraid to go back to school, to face the people he thought were his friends. All his peers were preparing to go overseas to study as he instead had to gear up for his biggest mental battle to date. 

He expected everyone and anyone to judge him for his new circumstances - and the unfortunate reality is that some people did. He recalls one incident when he was actually asked to leave a gym due to his condition some years down the line. Although he could've chosen to give them a fight that they probably wanted, Rohan paused and channeled his energies into becoming even stronger. When they went low, he went high. As he puts it, "Despite my challenge, why wasn't I just as, if not stronger than him/ her physically? Sensible choices - build yourself or break down others."

His lower limbs were completely paralysed up until he began intense physiotherapy. Currently, he has recovered up to about a 60% amount of usage through sheer will and continuous training. 

Rohan cites his father as his role model. He credits his parents and brother as his biggest sources of strength, for helping to make him confident enough to embrace his new reality, and to overcome his fears - a fear of not being accepted, of not being able to stand again, and of not being able to hold his child's hand to teach them how to walk in the future. His family helped him battle the "insecurity demon" as he calls it. They never let it occur to him that he was any less than what he used to be, or that he was at a disadvantage compared to the people standing around him. They laughed at his awkward situations together, and I'm sure we can all agree that a positive approach to any negative situation can do wonders. 

Rohan tells us about a moment that helped change his outlook on life. This was at a stage when he was battling low self-esteem and a lack of motivation to do anything about it. If anyone smiled at him, the first thought he had was that they were mocking him. During his second year of university, a girl approached him with the words "It doesn't matter if you're in a wheelchair, you're a handsome guy. You're just really fat!" Blunt words, but fortunately coming from a place of concern rather than condescension. She invited Rohan to go to the gym with her, and that was it. 

Within 6 months, after having lost 30 kg, his energy levels had shot up, and he saw a remarkable change in people's attitudes toward him. The truth of the matter is that they probably sensed a change in his attitude that became infectious! Exercise does have a wonderful way of boosting self-esteem, whether this is as part of a weight loss journey or not. 

He believes that regardless of your situation - physical, mental, or financial - if you develop a fearless attitude to exploit opportunities, the outcome will be one of two things. Either people will get out of your way, or they will follow you. He cites the example of Franklin D. Roosevelt, who suffered from Polio which left him paralysed from the waist down too, but whose never-say-die attitude resulted in him being remembered as one of the U.S.'s most fearless presidents. 

Let's hear from Rohan as he answers some questions for us:

1) What's the best advice someone has ever given you?

Your inability to cope with your reality will ruin you. Fight.

2)  How did you battle your anxieties and depression?

I was always a witty and funny person. Getting paralysed didn't change that.  Initially I battled the anxiety/ depression by ignoring and suppressing it through humor. In one sense, I would hide behind the tears of a clown. Then I picked up the pen and started writing... every time  I felt a certain way I'd write it down as poetry to express myself, then I picked up the mic and became vocal through spoken word and rap. It is unbelievable the solace I found in my own words, in my own mind. 

3) How would you define your life journey now?

I'm not sure. I still haven't figured it out. One thing is I know is I am not the only one that has struggled or is suffering. Whether it is a mental condition or physical there are many people just like me. I was fortunate enough to find my strength and I want to help as many people as I can find theirs. I want to spread positivity and confidence to make people believe in themselves before believing in others ..... no matter what your dreams are or what you're aspiring to achieve. 

I want to help people in need. I don't know how else to put it. This world is an unforgiving place. Competition and the drive to be the best makes people hurt each other rather than inspire. We need to reach out and show people how things are done rather than brag about what we've achieved. Knowledge and good is the only thing you can leave behind worth recognizing, your ego, beauty and money goes with you. What I may lack physically I like to think I make up mentally. I'm only getting stronger and if I focus enough I can only get better or at the least reduce the discomfort associated with my physical state. We define our limits. 

4) What has surprised you about your journey since that day back in 2004?

 People’s attitudes and the fact that situations never get easier, they only get less difficult through conditioning. 

5) Let's say you're invited to give a TED talk. What are you going to talk about?

There are two topics I would consider. One is fearlessness - I'd love to motivate people to do what they've always wanted to. 

The other is women's empowerment from a male perspective, and this would have to be after doing a lot more research and educating myself more on this. I have observed a lot of resistance and inequality that women face in society, from jobs, to relationships, to life in general. My opinion is that women are more considerate to people, and can do what men can't. A personal example is that despite my condition, I have had girls see past my challenges so often that I almost feel like nothing is different about me. However, men would find it difficult to date a woman in a wheelchair, and would tend to see her as less than an abled woman. 

6) What do you wish you had known earlier?

 I wish I knew the power of positivity and how much of a difference it can make in helping one adapt to or overcome any challenge. I found it out a bit late. Still no regrets.

7) Let's say you just won a million dollars. What would be the top 3 to 5 things you would prioritise, and why?

Tough question. So in order.

-     Set up a charity for children. Poverty is the most painful scenario to watch. One child sitting on a couch eating popcorn watching a documentary about another child starving to death.

-     Travel the world. I can’t take the money and go so might as well see the most of what I can now.

-     Set up a music studio and artist development company. – I love music and realize the struggles that go into creating a project. Artists want to express themselves and sometimes can’t only because of the fact that they can't afford the service. I want to help break that norm for others and myself. 

8) Any advice for others who may be struggling in their lives?

Be fearless and let nobody discourage you in any sort of way. Surround yourself with people that lift you up and tell you how to do things, not with people that raise doubts in your mind. How you control your fear, anger and ability to reason in situations determines outcome .... if you fail make sure you learn, if you win make sure you teach. Be brave enough to experience both. 

When asked about why he felt he could share his story on this platform, Rohan says:

My goal with this article, my purpose with being in the public eye in general, is to show people that no matter how bad your situation, someone has it worse. There are people that would gladly trade their problems with yours and comfortably walk a mile in your shoes. We need to understand not everything is going to work in our favor, the beautiful eyes that we love may never look at us, the person we thought would never change ends up being different, one day we’re walking the next day we aren’t... bad things happen but there’s nothing you cannot adjust to. For me personally, I may never be able to slow dance with a girl again or walk with my child clinging to my hand but... I'm here, I'm drawing breath.... and I’m loved.  Open your eyes... how hard is your life really ?  You can use your story as an example of a tragedy or as example of sheer strength and triumph. Losers worry about losing... I’m a winner. 

As he puts it "Anyone who finds hope when they read my story motivates me to be stronger. Out of 100 people that see me, 99 will turn the other way, but the one that doesn't... that's my strength."

A huge thank you to Rohan Gandhi and Aniqah Khalid for their support on this article!

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