10 Great Ways to Adjust to a New City

Most of us, at some point or another, have moved cities in the past. However, most of us are also witness to the fact that adjusting to these moves gets much harder after graduation! If you've just moved to a new city (or an old city you haven't lived in for a while), or are planning to, I hope these tips are useful to you:

1) Before you move, network!
Get in touch with family, friends, friends of friends, fellow alumni, old neighbours, and whoever you may be able to. If these people live in the city you're moving to, they could become great friends (if they aren't already). If they lived there in the past, but have now moved away, don't be afraid to ask for tips! Knowing about where to shop, the best neighbourhoods to live in, fun things to do, etc, before you move to the city, can save you valuable time settling in!

2) Get help with your move! 
I speak from personal experience when I say that taking along a friend or family member to help with the move and initial settling down can be very helpful. It's even better if this person can stay a few extra days and explore your new home with you!

3) Make sure to stay in touch with family and friends from home. 
Moving to a new place doesn't mean losing touch with those who're far away, and staying in touch with these people means that they're still an important part of your life! Again, I speak from personal experience; sometimes, distance works wonders in making these relationships even closer.

4) If you've already found a job in your new city, ask your co-workers for tips . 
Maybe they know about the amazing restaurant down the street that has half off on Wednesdays that you happened to miss. Or the concert that you should definitely check out. Either way, many of these people have probably been in your situation before, and understand what it's like to move to a new place where you don't know as many people as you'd like. Maintaining good relationships with your coworkers is also a great way to make friends!

5) Look for networks you could join. 
For example, when I was in Iowa, I started attending meetings of the American Marketing Association. I didn't stay long enough to join, but I definitely got to meet some new people, and learn new things! Most big cities have young professional networks, and some that are more specialised that welcome new members.

6) Get to know your neighbours. 
When I was in university, most of my best friends were people I lived close to freshman year. We may not be in dorms anymore, but getting to know the people you live around can be very helpful; not only will you probably make good friends, but you'll know that you can rely on them if you need to (and vice versa)!

7) Sign up for a class you've always wanted to take. 
New city, new start right? If you feel that in your old place, it would have been kind of weird if the straight-laced software engineer wanted to take up creative writing, now's the time to go for it!! You're in a new place, and have a chance to do things that you've always wanted to, but never got to because you were in a comfort zone of sorts.

8) Remember to be open to new experiences and new people. 
I'll say it again; you're in an entirely new place, and it wouldn't be fair to expect it to be like the place you moved from. Be open and ready for experiences you wouldn't have encountered before, and be willing to meet people who may differ from the people you usually socialise with. Go ahead and have some fun with life!

9) Don't be afraid to go out on your own. 
Whether this is a new city where you know a few people, or a new city where you don't know anyone at all, one of the best ways to get settled in is to go out exploring on your own. So go ahead and make reservations for one at that fun Italian restaurant you drove by, or sign up for a nature walk by yourself. One thing though: remember to be careful and do your research! Let's just say that you don't want your adventure alone to take you to any unsavoury neighbourhoods.

10) Push yourself. 
You're going to have to be more active about doing things. As the new person in town, you're going to have to make the effort to go out and meet people, to learn about your city, to get comfortable. Don't wait for things and people to happen to you; go out there and familiarise yourself with your new home!

Do you have any tips for adjusting to a new city? Leave them in the comments below!

How Do I Define Me?

Picture by Thomas Brault courtesy of unsplash.com

When I was younger, a large part of how I defined myself was by the relationships in my life. I was so-and-so's daughter, so-and-so's sister, so-and-so's friend. That's not to say that I didn't have an identity of my own- I did- but it was nowhere near what it is now. While I was by no means shy, I guess I could call myself reserved. Added to that, living in a "small big" city like Nairobi (the population of the city is well over 3 million, and yet it seems that everyone knows each other), I was stuck with the burden of being the person I had been for the past few years.

Many of you who grew up in small communities and went to smaller high schools will understand me when I say that it's difficult to really change yourself when people still see you as the person you used to be. I was fortunate enough in that I got to go to a university where I knew no-one. Not an exaggeration; Sewanee literally had no person who was connected to my life in Kenya. I did meet people there who had some ties to Kenya, but they got to know me after 2010. It was scary at first, sure, but this was a good thing.

It's not like I pulled a snake move to shed off my skin and show another person underneath (forgive the visual). Rather, I had a chance to start afresh and make relationships that were not founded on the person I used to be, or thought that I was. I believe that we all change over time, and having a chance to express these changes can be very positive. Not only that; sometimes being in a new environment can help you realise that you've changed too! I'm still essentially the same person I used to be; I've just grown up a bit. I'm more confident, more independent, more questioning of the world around me. I meet people I knew pre-2010, and it seems that many of them have this to say "Wow, you're so different!" Not really, I don't think so. I just had a chance to recognise and express the changes in me that for some reason I was afraid to do before.

Yes, I'm still so-and-so's daughter, so-and-so's sister, so-and-so's friend; but now I'm quite comfortable being a so-and-so myself! Has this independence and confidence always been a good thing? Not always, to be honest. Dating especially is harder once you move to defining yourself by more than just your relationships. While dating in Sewanee, I emphasised that those relationships were just a part of my life, and could not be my entire life, especially so quickly. So when people came along who wanted more than that, I perceived them as being clingy and insecure, and downplayed the positives. I thought that depending on another person would mean compromising my independence, which I was not willing to do at all. Thankfully, time and good friends helped me see the light (older and wiser, right?).

However, considering the negatives of having so much space to explore myself, I'm glad I got the chance to! I'm definitely more confident in the friendships that I have now, and not as dependent on the relationships in my life, and this is so helpful considering that I have loved ones all over the world, from California to the Midwest to the South to the East Coast to England to Kenya to India to Australia. One thing that's completely new about me is my comfort, and even willingness, to walk into a restaurant alone. I haven't had much opportunity to do so since I got back to Nairobi, but soon I hope. In fact, I'm hoping to take a solo vacation later this year (fingers crossed)!

What's the point in all this? I'm just trying to emphasise that there may be times in life when you are completely out of your comfort zone, farther than you would usually push yourself, surrounded by people and places you haven't encountered before. Don't be scared of this; embrace it and use the experience to get to know yourself better. Accept the positives and negatives, and learn from them. Love the person you are, and the inevitable changes that time and such circumstances will bring in you!